Author: christine (Page 1 of 14)

January 11, 2026 –
I’ve still got it

Thank goodness I wore my runners and socks to the Basic First Aid class I went to this weekend. Normally I wear Crocs or Uggs (with no socks). We were indoors for the whole day and our shoes were left outside of the room. I cannot believe that I have returned to a first aid class to acquire certification for work. I needed to do this class on Saturday so that I can take my class from the university off campus. It’s part of FRASP, the Field Risk Assessment and Safety Plan. It’s a lengthy form asking about the safety of those heading off campus. although I am only bringing my class to an elementary school as part of their coursework, a plan needs to be created and submitted to the program chair and faculty dean for approval. Thank goodness it’s “low risk” because then the university would have to approve it too.

I never thought that I would have to return to first aid training. I’ve done Level 2 a few times as part of my job when I taught high school math. I was the school’s first aid attendant. I did not think too much about it. I liked the training and the processes and protocols seemed very aligned to mathematics. it was logical, sequential, and prioritized. The last time I was in a high school teaching math was in 2010 and long before that, I was the first aid attendant. It’s been awhile. So, I was not sure about what to expect from Basic First Aid. The terminology has changed. This course would have been the Level 1 course. I think that’s all I need for FRASP, and I felt ok about committing a day to get this certification.

There was not pre-reading or resources to prep for the final test. The Basic First Aid class was Day 1 of the 2-day Standard First Aid course (that is, Level 2). There was a lot of content to be covered and a very tight timeline. I appreciated the course instructor’s approach with the time and content crunch. The class went from 8:30am to 4:30pm, with the multiple choice test to be taken at 4pm. Oh my goodness… so many videos, PowerPoint slides, demos, notes on the board, direct instruction, and opportunities to practice. We had a few breaks too. Time was a strong variable and the course instructor did a good job managing it.

As you can see, the work-mode never shuts off. I was appreciating the course instructor. He had someone in the back of the room helping/supervising or evaluating him, of which had commented a few times, but the course instructor also invited him to chime in from time to time. i thought that was good. It was interesting to observe other adults in the room in terms of their participation and how I perceived how they were learning as well. And, it was an opportunity to observe myself as a learner. I was admittedly panicking because I needed to pass this course for FRASP and I was not sure how I would do on the test. Multiple choice tests can be tricky, and I’m not the fastest reader. I was stressed.

Most of the day, I found myself self-regulating. I needed to pay attention to the course instructor. I needed to be compliant to the expectations of the practice sessions (and not be shy or tentative). I needed to not worry about the person beside me who kept coughing throughout the day and often we would work together and be partners. There is a lot of touching during the practice sessions. I needed to remember (and not memorize) the course content. There was a lot and not much to read from. There was no study time. You just do the class and then write the test. And, I needed to not compare myself to others, especially during the multiple choice test at the end of the course. There is a standard form everyone gets, and then a duotang of questions. I was self-conscious of my reading speed and I did not want to fail this test. I needed at least 70% to pass!!

I got to thinking about multiple choice tests. I don’t do them in my teacher education courses, or the courses I teach at the undergraduate and graduate level. There is no question that it provides accountability in terms of knowledge acquisition, but it does not tell you a whole lot about comprehension or competence (even though the course instructor was observing and providing feedback during our practice sessions). I think I was on #10 (out of 30) when people started to finish the test and going to the class instructor to get their test marked. A classic overhead transparency held all of the answers, and the course instructor would mark each test in real-time. And hence, more self-regulation for me… to not worry about what others are doing and when they were finishing. Some were getting questions wrong, as some had asked if they could see what they got wrong and how they should of answered differently.

One person, I believe, did not pass and were asked to return a back to the front desk to re-take the test (or the course) again. Most of us in this course were here for work, with exception to one person who was there for school and needed the first aid course as part of their prerequisites to a program at the college. Me, on the other hand, needed it for FRASP so that I can take my class off campus to participate in in-situ learning for my assessment class. Oh… the irony of doing a selected response test to get my Basic First Aid certificate so that my students can participate in an in-situ experience on assessment and motivation.

I will admit, I was very motivated on trying to know as much as I could, and to sense-make where I could, so that I would pass the multiple choice test. I had no idea what would be on the test, and I was unsure how much I would retain after actively listening, observing, and practicing during the day. I learned how to take off my gloves, I learned about Occupational Stress Injury, and burns have been relabelled to superficial, partial, and full. Throughout the course, I was alarmed by the level of importance and responsibility of being a first responder. CPR, AED, and ABC along with informed consent, shock, and transport needs made an impression on me, so much so that I got 100% on the test. Hooray!!

January 4, 2025 – Starting a New Term

This image above is my brunch meal from new year’s eve. Ichiban with bok choy, one egg, and chilli crisp oil. It really hit the spot that day and it was a meal that I wanted to have for quite some time. So, why not? I made it. And, it was delicious and easy to make. That day, I took off, slept in, and appreciated a day SLOW. I really enjoyed New Year’s Eve. I stayed home with the cat and kept it very simple that day. I did not have to go out (and I didn’t want to). It was a good opportunity to reflect on the year and think about what I have learned.

In 2025, I have learned that “I am enough” (Brown, 2010). Looking back at life, I can see now that I spent a lot of time and effort to prove or demonstrate my worth to others. Thus, what other people think of me (and my work) matter. It some ways, other people’s opinions and perceived expectations defined me. As a result, I have great anxiety around course evaluations, blind peer reviews, and any formative feedback. I can feel my nervous system go wild, and overthinking takes over my soul and way of being. During that time, sadly, I was not myself.

As I am learning more about myself (in the last chapter of my life), I am learning how to be more my authentic self. Understanding Where do I come from? Where am I going? Why am I here? and Who am I? (Sinclair, 2024) matters. Maybe it’s mid-life unravelling for more than 15-years, but I am slowly learning and understanding what makes “Christine.” I guess this is why Palmer’s 1997 “Heart of a Teacher: Identity and Integrity in Teaching” is central to my teaching practice. Not only is knowledge of the subject matter and of the students matter to teaching, but also self-knowledge is equally important. I have been working on acquiring self-knowledge of the past 5 years or so, and I am still learning.

I was brought to today’s blog post with the intention of talking about making “reasonable goals” for 2026. I feel that the more you know yourself, the more you will know your value, which in turn lends to setting boundaries and goal making. I also approach this blog post with a tonne of things to do, but spent much of the day crafting what I wanted to say today. One of the wondrous and wonderful things about writing is… it’s a form of THINKING and reflecting. Often I write about things that are different from what I intended. I learn a lot too.

Lorna Earl (2003) would call this “Assessment AS Learning,” where students take ownership of their learning and “empowers students to become their own expert assessors, monitoring their progress, setting goals, and making adjustments to improve learning” (Google AI Overview, January 4, 2026). Blogging and critically reflecting on my day, week, or practice is a form of this assessment to help me make sense of the world and way of being and living. I am hoping that I am able to assess and reflect often to make reasonable goals.

What 2026 brings for me is an opportunity to PRACTICE… my #OneWord2026. I think that I am a recovering “people pleaser” where self-betrayal was a way of being for survival, acceptance, and perceived success. Now that I am learning how to be “Christine,” I am understanding that I don’t have to be someone else to “fit in.” Lots of this thinking stems from my childhood, my Chinese-Canadian heritage, and cultural norms that were not aligned to who I am. I will say, I have succeeded in some way. I have a doctorate, I teach at a university, and I live independently and autonomously as a homeowner, single mom, and cat mom.

To set realistic goals for 2026, I like to follow what Christopher William says on the DOAC podcast: (1) What would have to have to happen in 2026 to look back on 2026 for it to be a success? (2) If you have to pick something up, you have to put something down. What would that be? And, (3) if your life was a movie, what would the audience be screaming at you with what to do with your life? As quick responses to these questions, (1) write and submit manuscripts that I am too scared to create or send; (2) more things need to get off my plate, so once something is done, I will not add anything new to replace it; and, (3) get off your phone and be present with your life. Focus on health and practicing new habits.

December 29, 2025 – Reflecting on 2025

As I often deliberate whether to maintain two blogs, here I am contributing to my second blog site. So there… decision made. I had mentioned in my previous post that I have a new #OneWord2026… that is, PRACTICE. But let’s reflect on my #OneWord2025… or this year’s word… LOVE. I remember having a difficult time committing to this word. My #OneWord2024 was HAPPY. Admittedly, that word was transformative. I was in the midst of many life changes and I needed to see my value and what made me HAPPY. I had to really listen to myself and my feelings… did this make me happy? If the answer was NO, then goodbye!!

In 2024, by understanding what made me happy helped me to see my values, what I valued, and ultimately MY VALUE. It was an incredible to experience and look back at that year and how my one-word unfolded. I started the year in January almost feeling burned out from perceived work expectations and output and I reached a tipping-point and realized I was really “done with” doing things for others to find my worth and define my value to others. I was never going to meet these perceived expectations. In other circumstances prior, I only set myself up to be overburden, neglected, and taken advantage of. It’s a horrible feeling and I believed that’s how life is and should be. BOY, I WAS WRONG.

Anyway, 2024 ended beautifully with me purchasing my new home, me adopting my cat, and me having minor surgery to move my health forward in a better way. I get to live my my kid while she goes to university, and we are living our best lives. I have autonomy. I have agency. I have boundaries (because I now know my value). The end of 2024 was a clear turning point in my life and entering 2025 was somewhat uncertain and turbulent. How can you beat a HAPPY year? I wanted to continue the transformation process with the one-word of LOVE. I was very uncommitted to the word (for months). I was almost scared of it. What did I really mean by the word? I was not looking “for love”… but in the end, I did.

What am I really saying? I ended up falling in love my myself, my life, and my work. I just love where I live. I love the work I get to do. I love my kid and my cat. I love my brother and sister. I love my dad. I miss my mom, but love her to bits. I love my family… the extended ones, of course. I love my the students I get to work with, I love my professional connections, and I love my friends who accept me for who I am… unconditionally. I love that Saturdays are “be a person day” and I love that I choose to do what I want, when I want. Having agency and autonomy is FREEDOM for me. I never knew life could be this way. I LOVE IT.

So, where does 2026 bring me? My #OneWord2026 came pretty quick for me. I think I found it at the end of November or the beginning of December. My one-word for 2026 is PRACTICE. I’m thinking about sustainability, longevity, and wellness. I want to be BRAVE… I want to have the courage to take risks despite the potential consequences (I am thinking about academia, and not jumping out of a plane). I want to be HEALTHY… I want to focus on my health and wellbeing. I want to engage in the DASH diet and walk everyday (or do something for me). And, I want to be WHOLE. I would always betray myself in the past by putting everything else or everyone else’s needs first. It’s ok to focus on what I like too.

Anyway, I LOVE how 2025 has manifested and I am looking forward to 2026 and engaging in Anders Ericsson‘s notion of “deliberate” PRACTICE.

According to Google AI: “Deliberate practice is a highly focused, structured, and intentional method of skill improvement that goes beyond mindless repetition, involving specific goals, constant feedback, and pushing beyond comfort zones to master challenging tasks, a concept popularized by psychologist K. Anders Ericsson to explain how experts achieve mastery. It emphasizes quality over quantity, focusing on targeted areas for growth, often with a coach, to achieve expertise in any domain, from sports to music to work.”

Lots to do on the horizon… for work, it’s fully implementing my research study, a chapter, a book review, a program evaluation, three conference proceedings, another paper, etc. on top of teaching assessment, motivation, and numeracy with the teacher candidates, “Pedagogy of Voice” for my undergraduate course, and School Based Teams for my graduate course. I love all of the teaching and learning that will be embedded in all of these courses, writing, and research. I have learned that I LOVE LEARNING. It’s not easy sometimes, but the learner mindset is a growth mindset. It helps me to flourish but also experience JOY.

For “be a person”… I am looking forward to taking action of my physical health. Over the last decade or so, I have focussed on my spiritual and mental health. That took some time and transformation… but now I’m ready to take care of me. I need to eat better, sleep better, and exercise. What I am learning is, if I don’t have my health, I don’t have anything. Which is true!! I need to stay healthy to continue to do the work I want to do… and enjoy… and LOVE (#OneWord2025). I also want to practice work habits, making timelines, and staying the course. This structured framework applies to both my personal and professional lives.

Thank you 2025 for an awesome year. I LOVED it. I’m looking forward to 2026.

December 22, 2025 – Learning Experientially

When I started my dissertation journey, I wanted to investigate non-mathematics specialist teachers who learned the subject matter as autodidactic learners to acquire the subject matter content knowledge needed to teach the subject area. Whew… that was a mouth-full. In the end, instead of being a qualitative study investigating how these teachers learned mathematics to teach mathematics, my dissertation evolved into a quantitative study using survey methods looking at the professional learning experiences of non-mathematics specialist teachers who are assigned (or choose) to teach secondary mathematics in BC schools.

Why am I bringing this topic up?

I am finding that lots of what we do in education is developed experientially, on-the-job, and autodidatically. According to Google AI Overview: “Autodidactism (or self-education) is the process of learning a subject independently, without formal instruction from teachers or institutions, driven by personal interest and motivation, using self-study, reading, and research to acquire knowledge and skills. An autodidact is the person who engages in this self-taught learning, often displaying strong dedication and the ability to seek out and apply information on their own.” How do people in education develop their expertise?

Looking at this definition, investigating autodidactism for out-of-field teachers in mathematics in K-12 schools would be a viable study. I focused my dissertation on high school mathematics because at the time I was teaching high school mathematics and my topic was inspired by my experiences teaching “Essentials of Mathematics 11” and the who were in that class. My research topic and question were derived from practice and I often wondered where a cycle could be interrupted or broken. The focus of my study was professional learning. And what I learned was, based on the participants of the study, most are self-taught.

So, why am I bringing this topic up?

In my practice, I am recognizing that teaching out-of-field is not uncommon, regardless of discipline, and the most pragmatic approach to learning how to teach the subject matter of a particular topic or area is to learn about it yourself. As a result, most are going to learn the subject matter (or gain experience) by learning-by-doing or essentially self-taught to gain the expertise needed. After teaching one of my graduate leadership courses, leaders in education have to learn how to lead a school experientially and autodidactically. Mentorship is often an alternative, but most this this relationship is informal. Much like me in academia. Transitioning from K-12 education to governance to research has taken some time and I feel that I am learning autodidactically myself as well.

I completed a masters degree in education, but it was more of a professional degree in curriculum and instruction rather than an Masters in Arts with a focus on education, which would have been thesis based and geared more towards academia through graduate research or teacher assistant positions, etc. I was teaching and going to graduate school at the same time. I did not have the foresight of pursuing doctoral work, but the opportunity arose (twice) and I opted to engage in this work in a doctorate in education that involved research, ethics, data collection, data analysis, and a dissertation. I thought my learning curve what there, but what I now realize is, that was the the starting point, not the end.

So what? Why does this matter?

I am having a reflective moment as I think about where I have come from, where I am, and where I am going. Learning autodidatically is a means to an end. I am so motivated by this saying, “You are the CEO of your life.” Lately, this saying is deeply resonating with me in many ways. You have to create what you want to see and in doing so, you are going to engage in some learning to build your expertise in what you are doing. I am definitely learning and I am acutely aware of my sense of self-efficacy to do this work, the confidence needed to jump-in sometimes, and the courage and vulnerability to the produce the work. It’s more than just learning the subject matter, but it entails a lot of self-development too.

I am still building up the courage to put my work out there. I have tried so many other things, but all of those things and opportunities were only mini-tests and trials. I am learning from those experiences and in many ways I am being self-taught. You have to be wiling to make mistakes, ask for help, and look foolish sometimes. Too much of what we think we see is not really the learning that we need to see to move ourselves forward. Learning is messy and I feel that autodidactism also involves grit, perseverance, and JOY. Love what you are doing. Do what you’re doing because you love it. Learn about what you love.

My #OneWord2025 is LOVE. And I feel that I have learned so much from this word and my #OneWord2026 is PRACTICE. I look forward to the new year!!

December 8, 2025 – A Moment to Reflect

The teaching has ended for the Fall 2025 term. I have no idea where the term has gone. Although students might feel like it’s the “end of the term,” I feel like I’m just getting started. Unfortunately, none of our courses exceed 3-credits and I am sure the students are ready for the winter break. I also gave students a week after class ends to hand in final assignments. As much as I would love to finish a course on the last day of classes, I can never seem to have enough time to fit everything in. Moreover, I like to assess and evaluate students individually.

I have been at the university for 7 years. I just went to an event today and mentioned that I was “term” faculty. I got a table of surprise and stares, and one person asked me if I was OK with being Assistant Professor. Of course, I am. Life gives you many lessons and opportunities to learn. I am learning and growing. Learning requires humility and courage and I feel very grateful to have the job that I do and work with the people that I do. Despite the term contract, I am feeling very aligned to who I am, where I am and the work that I am doing.

Given that I have been here for 7 years, I’ve made good connections and friends such that I am moving forward in a good way. One of those ways is working with students. I love working and collaborating with teacher candidates and graduate students. I teach undergraduate students next term. What I am most grateful for is maintaining connections with recent graduates. In one opportunity, I had one recent graduate come to my class as a guest speaker for the teacher candidates and graduate students. Always amazing and I am very aligned to this person and their practice. Super amazing. And, I’ve reconnected with another recent graduate. A text message led to dinner out to a second dinner out and plans.

In a short timeline, we connected and collaborated to create a time for the district student advisory council to come to my class to talk about “what’s your why” and share some stories about their experiences as students and what they hope for from future teachers. They concluded my course this fall and the message shared was very clear. I was so pleased to hear that this student leadership crew planned and facilitated this event. The ideas that me and the lead teacher had were only ideas. The high school students ran with it and the morning was AMAZING. We started with introductions to an opening circle with a football (don’t ask) to small groups, a mini-TED talk, and a closing circle.

The stories members of the district student advisory council was incredible (even though I did not listen to the small group discussions as seen in the photo). I wanted to keep those discussions between the students and the teacher candidates to have candid conversations about teaching and learning. What I heard back from the teacher candidates was GRATITUDE and hope. What I also heard from the students was gratitude and hope. A teacher candidate asked me after class if I enjoyed the session. I could not give a full answer at the time because I was organizing the day and focused on timing.

Now, as I reflect on the day, I am also brought to gratitude and hope. I also think that creating space for student voice and being co-constructors of knowledge is something that I’ve always wanted and hope that I am facilitating in some way in my classes but also in these collaborative opportunities with students and recent graduates. I believe teaching and learning is social. Sense-making is not done in isolation. And, everyone has a voice and choice in their learning experiences. I am so thankful for the high school students, teacher, and school administrator for making the time to come to campus, share their voice, and create a memory. I believe the message will linger and you have made a difference. THANK YOU.

November 24, 2025 – Be the Learner

If anything from what I am reading in my education leadership courses and what I wish for teacher candidates is… to be the learner. I was chatting with one of my former students (who is now a phenomenal teacher, lead learner, and person) and we’ve had conversations about growth mindset versus fixed mindset (Dweck, 2006). As I reflect on my practice and the feelings that are embedded, to reflect in and on action (Schön, 1983), I’ve come to understand that when I am performative, I have a “fixed mindset.” I feel anxious, worried about what others think, and often self-deprecating and overthinking about how things should be based on my beliefs of other people’s perceptions. When I am THE LEARNER, I have a “growth mindset.” I feel free, joyful, and a willingness to be vulnerable such that I can move forward with humility, grace, and curiosity.

When I am learning… I AM HAPPY.

Being the learner is powerful, and in my educational leadership courses, being the lead-learner can be transformative, in particular with instructional leadership in schools. There are so many things on the go and so many things to do, to keep myself sustainable and happy in the work I do and in life, I have taken deliberate action to REST and be compassionate and kind with myself and my time. I am still learning how to do this SLOW work and I will (and have) made mistakes. Once again, focus on the learning (not the performance) and all will be well. I cannot control what others think or believe, I can only control what I think and believe. That’s it. With this understanding, I can take each step with the knowing that I can only do my best without compromising myself in doing so.

Last week was filled with learning opportunities, and I took the time to engage in these opportunities to fill my cup. The photo above shows the poster I and my colleagues created for the ABCDE (Association of the BC Deans of Education) Spotlight Symposium on the shared responsibilities to the Renewed ACDE (Association of the Canadian Deans of Education) Accord on Indigenous Education. Each teacher education programs created a poster for this event and there were guest speakers talking about what’s happening in their jurisdictions. The presentations were inspiring in many ways, but the event also had small group discussions for participants to sense-make and share ideas. I had a really good time catching up and connecting with folks in-person I knew at this event.

The ABCDE symposium was on Thursday, and Christine’s professional learning continued on Friday with a Facebook friend of mine, Dr. Cher Hill, came from SFU to give a talk as part of the IWAU (Inspiring Women Among Us event) as a keynote speaker. It was so wonderful to see Cher in-person in Prince George. Her presentation was titled, “Trees Don’t Care About Your Pronouns: Relations Forest Pedagogies, Gender, and Belonging,” and she spoke about some preliminary findings of who did not like going outside, having her Foundations of Education classes held outside, what can be learned about gendered barriers held with being outdoors, and how the forest provides a place for belonging. It was a very interesting presentation and thought-provoking. I think about me taking my EDUC 394 class outside and the impact it has on student learning.

Saturday concluded my professional learning series with the viewing of two movies: “The Salmon’s Call” and “Nechako.” Both movies were shown at the Prince George Performing Arts Theatre as part of IWAU. The directors of both movies were women and most of the production staff were Indigenous. Each movie concluded with a panel discussion. I was so wowed by each movie in terms of the cinematography, the local content, and the political activism that is required to protect the water and the salmon and to gain the rights of Aboriginal Peoples, the land, and way of life on the land. I was heartbroken, devastated, and inspired all at the same time. I had no idea to the extent of the horror that these communities have endured and their reliance and persistence to succeed. I am very appreciative of this work and hope others in this area will/can see it.

I am so grateful to engage in professional learning. It was always my favourite thing to do when I was a K-12 teacher and it’s my favourite thing to do as an academic. Stay humble, be vulnerable, and keep learning. It is way too fun!!

November 16, 2025 – Learning by Doing

This school year, I negotiated and was offered 10% time for research. Normally, my assignment would be 80% teaching and 20% service. This year, it’s 70% teaching, 20% service, and 10% research. Moreover, I did not have any classes to teach over the spring and summer intersessions. I scheduled my classes for the fall and winter terms. This year was also the first time over 7 years to have one term without teaching. Although having a term off from teaching is part of the collective agreement, it can be challenging when the program is year round.

Slowly but surely, my job assignments transitioned from a practicum oriented role to one that is focused on coursework. I was asked several times if I wanted to assume a different role (re: Senior Instructor), but I was somewhat insistent on keeping the title, Assistant Professor, full-time term faculty. The teaching time is the same for there is no expectation of research if I was a Senior Instructor. Admittedly, I did not know what I was asking for, but emerging into research took some time. So, research I’ve done so far has been done on the side of my desk.

Having a non-teaching term and 10% research time has been extremely helpful and beneficial. During the spring/summer term, I went to a conference in Toronto and took the time to work on a harmonized ethics application, submit a proposal to write a chapter, as well as work on several manuscripts or chapters for publication. Although this was my first time having both research time and a non-teaching term so that I could do research, I am learning by doing on how to manage my time, lead a research team, do an ethics application, and publish.

What I have learned is, I really do like going to conferences and presenting. It’s much like my dissertation and doctoral work. The strongest aspect of my doctorate program was my oral defence. I am also learning how to take the lead on writing and research, while learning experientially from others by talking to them, participating in working groups, or being a part of a research team. I’m going at my own pace, which I feel being a term faculty member has afforded me. I don’t have the pressure of tenure track and I am content with my work.

I even took a pause in writing this blog post to check in to my “ongoing CV” to record some of my recent work. I did not even realize how much I did not record. That’s not a good thing. It’s a good habit to record your accomplishments as you do them in anticipation of the annual professional activity report (PAR) and for some, tenure and promotion. As term faculty, I am considering applying for promotion to Associate Professor. I enjoy the teaching and I am enjoying the research. I am also happy to stick to Assistant Professor as well. All is good.

As I return back to blogging on my OpenETC WordPress site and updating a page or two, despite the fact that I do not have to have an exemplar of portfolio work for teacher candidates, I think it’s a good opportunity to reflect on my scholarship and professional activity moving forward alongside my other blog. I am really feeling satisfied with the challenges posed in doing research while loving my return back to teaching (and teaching about teaching). Letting go on what you think things should be and just learning has been my greatest lesson.

I feel very appreciative to the many mentors along my pedagogical journey in research. Each mentor offered something different, such as “be selfish” or “your research is your teaching” and there was so much more guidance, insight, and tips from so many during my SFU and UNBC days that has led me to a place where I never thought I would be. Honestly, being here and doing what I am doing is a dream. As a child, I had always knew that I wanted to be a “doctor” but not the medical kind. I had no idea how I would get here, but now, I am here.

November 7, 2025 – Renewed & Reignited

We are all on a journey. I call mine “My Pedagogical Journey.” I spoke about it at an IGNITE session in Langley, BC. At the time, I had just left teaching in K-12 schools as a high school mathematics teacher, I think I may have become an elected school trustee while working on my dissertation, and I was one of the co-moderators on #BCEdChat on edu-Twitter (when Twitter was Twitter). Even just talking about where I was at that time, I was certainly in a state of transition. I was figuring out my next steps in my career, and knowing or not knowing, in my life as a whole.

Not to sound too traumatic, life has changed a lot since 2010. Even when I made this TEDxWestVancouverED video in 2017, I just finished my doctorate degree and still wondered what I was meant to do in life. Since this video, my mom passed away, I left the political side of education as as school trustee and moved to Prince George for work, and I am divorced from a 30 year relationship. Luckily, my kid moved up with me after the pandemic and I am still at my job, and now I am a new homeowner living independently and happily. Right now, I feel very aligned.

“Finding your place in the education system. Where is your best fit? How are we all aligned?” – Christine Younghusband – September 23, 2017

In Prince George, I am working as an Assistant Professor as a full-time term faculty member at the University of Northern British Columbia. My work is focused on teacher education, educational leadership, and intro to education. My work is currently 70% teaching, 20% service, and 10% research. Some of my teaching time is dedicated to the program in the School of Education, and I am engaged in work as part of my service such as being a member of senate, being a member of two senate committees, social media moderator for the School of Education, various committee work for the School of Education, and more recently, executive member of the Canadian Association for Action Research in Education (CAARE) as vice-president and program manager. I love this work.

I am involved in several research projects as a co-investigator and principal investigator, that are related to professional learning, out-of-field teaching, and transformative leadership. These projects may not resemble my dissertation exactly, that is, focused on mathematics education in the secondary years, but they are related to passion for professional learning, out-of-field teaching, and transformative leadership. I love the idea of ideating change, creating change, and being the change agent in education. Finally, I am also back to teaching, the primary aspect of my work at the university. I love teaching. It is something that I was meant to do, but what I love more about is the relationships, learning, and making connections to ideas, people, and the land and place. I am very happy.

I have been blogging since 2010 (I believe), or since 2011. I left teaching and I just became a school trustee. There has been many transformational moments in my life since such as the Pulling Together Canoe Journey, seeking help from others, and recent passing of a good friend and colleague of mine. Change is turbulent, unsettling, and uncomfortable. But sometimes, you have to endure the tough times to see the light. As much as I have been very resistant to change because I was too afraid of what’s on the other side, now I feel brave. I am not saying that I will shake the world, but what I am saying, I can only control what I can do, say, and feel. That’s it. Super empowering and it has created a lot of peace, happiness, and joy in my life. Today, I am aligned. I am in the right place in education (and my life).

May 6, 2025 – Change is OK

I am left wondering about blogging and portfolio in teacher education and in my practice. I maintain another WordPress site of which I have regularly blogged in since 2010. Originally, I wanted to practice my writing skills via blog with a “real audience” where there was some stakes in the game. I hired someone to create that website for me. I may have muddled around with it too much, and over time I had lost access to that account because of a “two-step authenticator” and buying a new phone. I got locked out of my account and could only access the account via my iPad which eventually experienced lots of limitations due to updates, etc. I had to eventually give up that website and concede to leaving my thoughts and whatever I wrote on that website as digital debris. I moved onto creating this website as part of my work in the teacher education program but also to return back to blogging to reflect on and think about my practice.

Now, I am no longer teaching EdTech or portfolio as courses within the teacher education program. How that evolved, I am not sure, but I was open to change and now here I am. Although I did include portfolio as part of another course as I took some time to grieve the change, I can see now that I don’t have to include portfolio as part of my coursework and move forward onto something new. This change reminds me of the IGNITE presentations. I did include them as part of my undergraduate course this year, which was great, but I let go of them as well in the teacher education program. So, I am left wondering, what’s next? I don’t have to maintain this website to serve an an exemplar to teacher candidates or graduate students of whom I supervised in EDUC 796 for a portfolio capstone.

One of the pieces of advice I give to teacher candidates is, follow the path that the doors open for you. Don’t try to force a direction you career. Have goals but be open to the opportunities that lie ahead of you. You don’t know what you don’t know. That’s how most of us navigated through our careers in K-12. And sometimes when you are to fixed on a goal or try to make something happen that’s not there, often it does not work in you favour. It only feels like an uphill climb and we can get disheartened by the journey. Boy, am I telling my story. However, once I let go and just went to the doors that were open to me, I am 100% happier and love what I am doing. I had no idea life could be this way. I am focused on what brings me joy and I have gratitude for the path I am on.

Of course, I did not anticipate this was the pedagogical journey I would take, nor was I prepared for the challenged I had to face, but change and being open to change has been integral to my success. Right now, I am reading a book about relationships, heartache, and letting go. This book about people but it could be about anything. I had no idea that letting go of practicum supervision, letting go of being the B.Ed. Coordinator, and letting go of portfolios would lead to more time to do what I love, teach courses that I love, and have the freedom to write and research during this spring/summer term without courses to teach. This is my first term not teaching any courses and I am wide open to doing research.

I never thought I would be here and feeling hopeful about what’s ahead. I can only do my best and do what’s best for me. I understand that now. A colleague and mentor of mine said that to me 2-years ago… be selfish. I never understood what that meant, but what it really means is, prioritize yourself. It’s taking me years to understand what I love, what makes me happy, and what I value. I am still learning and I am learning more about my value and what I bring to the table. I have nothing to lose. It’s just change. So, I am left with the conundrum of whether to continue with portfolios in one of my classes in teacher education, let it go, and if I should continue my weekly blog on this platform. Change is good.

April 29, 2025 – Visiting Family

In the last year or so, I’ve been focusing on work life balance and REST. In the beginning of 2024, I almost burned out. I had to catch myself. Saying “yes” to everything is unreasonable. As a result, I spent most of 2024 focussing on what “makes me happy” and ended the year with a few wins: (1) bought a townhouse; (2) gallbladder operation; and (3) ending the term well and feeling good about it. I also went to Las Vegas with my siblings and my kid in the winter time, and I spent the Christmas holiday in my new place. XO. I feel very grateful for 2024.

Now that we are almost 4-months into the 2025 school year, I wonder how I am doing with maintaining a work-life balance. I think that I am fully moved into my place and I believe that I have all that I want to have in my new place. My twin brother brought back a few boxes from Vancouver to Prince George, of which are stored in my garage. I do need to organize my garage, in a good way. So, I guess my home is a work in progress. I have also purchased a small BBQ and a plant for the patio. The plant did not survive, but I am enjoying BBQ dinners.

As for work, I’ve enjoyed my 4 classes in the Winter 2025 term. First, I was teaching classes that were in my areas of interest: math/numeracy, assessment, educational theory & practice, and instructional leadership. I enjoyed the subject matter and the students. I also learned a lot about myself and my practice. If anything, it was a fruitful semester and I look forward to teaching these courses again. Research is also part of my work. I was able to maintain the work for one research team and I learned how to co-create and submit a harmonized ethics application for another research group of which “I am leading.” It’s been too fun.

Once the marks were submitted, I took the time to taper the term with other work that I do with respect to service and research, but also take time for myself. For years, I would push myself and “keep going” rather than taking the time to rest and restore myself to keep what I do at the university sustainable. So, I did take a few days to go to the Lower Mainland to rest, get a massage, and visit family. As much as I could feel guilty in taking time for myself (beyond “be a person day”… aka. Saturdays), I feel that I needed to let my body and mind to do what it needed to do, to be where it needed to be, and be feel ready for the next term.

Now, I am heading back to work (after the Federal Election), and I feel good. It’s a lot of cognitive and emotional work to break habits that I’ve done for decades and find a new rhythm to keep what I do sustainable and enjoyable. Stress and busyness are not good metrics for success or happiness. I look forward to a term of writing and getting some stuff done. I have one more “promise” I have made to myself to conclude to the winter term. Let’s see how this goes. In the meantime, I am very happy with my work at the university and hope to continue for another few years with a renewed term contract. Onwards and upwards. 🙂