Presented on Friday, February 21, 2025 with BCTEN “Turning to one another to foster hope through Métissage”
February 23, 2025 – A Photo Collage
I had a wonderful few days in Vancouver at WestCAST 2025 at SFU in Burnaby. I co-presented with BCTEN (BC Teacher Education Network), co-presented with three secondary education teacher candidates, and coached one elementary education teacher candidate. The UNBC School of Education – Teacher Education Program was well represented with these teacher candidates. They should be proud of the work they have accomplished and what they shared with other teacher candidates and teacher educators in western Canada. Well done!!
I am figuring that this week’s blog post will be a photo collage. I normally follow a pattern or framework with each of my blog posts, typically including one photo and a lot of text reflecting on a particular topic. It’s time to “get out of the box.” I’m kind of doing a little bit of both without using another app to create collage. I had a wonderful time coaching and mentoring teacher candidates to prepare for and present at conferences like WestCAST to further their personal inquiry and gain experience presenting to folks in the field. Photo credit goes to the UNBC School of Education social media feeds found on Facebook, Instagram, and X
The UNBC Crew has arrived at SFU (Burnaby Campus) – February 19, 2025Heading in the right direction towards WestCAST 2025 at the SFU Faculty of Education. The UNBC Crew meets the opening keynote speaker, Dr. Gillian Judson, on February 20, 2025Presentation 1 – “I have ADHD, so what?” – A presentation on project-based learningPresentation 2 – “Bringing the outside in: Interdisciplinary Learning in the Secondary Years”The UNBC Teacher Candidate Crew on the last day of WestCAST2025 on February 21, 2025.
Apologies for the photo of my cat. It’s all I have as recent photos… or photos of my patio. Simon the cat just turned one-year old on Valentine’s Day. Why not? It’s approximately on this day, based on her adoption records, so we made it so. I love her to bits, even though she spends more time with the kid. That’s ok. I’m not jealous… LOL. And, I’m not mad that she’s destroying my bed for the soul purpose of hide-and-seek. I’m ok with that. LOL. That said, she is soooooo cute. I took this photo today when I was cleaning up my bedroom/office. How can you not take a photo? I was cleaning up the paperwork spread out in my room. She LOVES paper!! She loves ripping it, rolling in it, and siting on it. It’s her thing.
Why does this matter?
It doesn’t, except I spent all of Friday, that is, Valentine’s Day and Simon’s birthday, working on my Professional Activity Report (PAR) for 2024. I had been collecting and collating information, but stopped updating my CV in August and left my course evaluations in sealed envelopes or online on MS Forms. As I write this, I just didn’t have the time or prioritized this work while I was teaching. In the fall term, I had 3-courses (and some assigned work), and in the winter term, I am teaching 4-courses. I have not quite established the pace of 2025 yet. With 8-hours of teaching on Mondays and two night course during the week, as well as helping out edit two manuscripts in January. The days have been full.
Unfortunately, I underestimated the time it would take to collate and compose my PAR for 2024. It was due on February 14th and I managed to get it in by 7:30pm. This year, I have included course evaluations, of which, I took the time to summarize and review, as well as I got to include the chapter I’ve led with my research team in climate education in teacher education. I learned a tonne from that work, and now I feel like I’m being supported and mentored with a couple of friends/colleagues to lead another research project. Moreover, I joined another research team that is interdisciplinary with computer science and education.
As much as going through my PAR to update my CV and highlight my work in 2024 and make goals for 2025 in teaching, research, and service, the PAR process is an opportunity to reflect on what I have achieved and what I need to learn. Course evaluations scare the kajeebees out of me… trauma, really. Doing course evaluations was a STRETCH for me and a moment of growth to receive feedback and to think of ways to improve my practice for next year. Reviews were mixed but grateful for those who participated to give me some feedback. It’s truly a gift… not easy to read sometimes, but it’s humbling and informing.
I am also finding my groove in teaching and I love partnering with folks in the school district to provide learning opportunities or be guest speakers for my classes. I have also learned that keeping a “growth mindset” in my teaching and research practices, I can move forward with humility, curiosity, and happiness. I am also learning how to be myself and to honour myself and my time. I love going to conference and presenting at them. I went to CSSE Congress 2024 in Montreal, QC, Outdoor Learning Conference in Banff, AB, and WestCAST 2024 in Calgary, AB. I also participated in a tonne of professional learning too.
My PAR 2024 was approximately 90 pages and I feel a lot more confident and competent with what I have accomplished and submitted. After 7-years at the university and at the end of my 3-year contract, my work experience took many ups and downs, shifted from practicum to undergraduate and graduate courses, and finding opportunities to develop my research agenda with respect to writing, collaboration, ethics, and grant writing… I have no regrets. Everything happened for a reason and with each opportunity, I am learning. More importantly, in 2024, I have found my way with my work and feel good about my work and progress.
I hope to be renewed for another 3-years and continue the trajectory I am on. I am finally understanding my positionality and I would love to return back to my doctoral work in mathematics education and out-of-field teaching, and pursue my life’s work in an autoethnography to seek some understanding on belonging, family history, and ethnic identity as a second-generation Chinese Canadian woman and how these impact my understanding of the world. Part of this study is also about “20-days” and my relationship with my mom and how she impacted who I am as a person. It’s been 7-years since she passed. I am ready to write.
Wow. We are in Week 6 of the Winter 2025 and I am just finding my bearings for the term. On Mondays, I teach back to back 4-hour classes for the teacher education program with the same cohort, then I teach an undergraduate course on Tuesday nights, and a graduate course on Thursday nights. It sounds like a pretty sweet schedule as teaching faculty, but the weekend is consumed by planning and prepping for my Monday classes, Tuesdays and Thursdays are spent planning and prepping for my night classes, Wednesdays and Fridays are spent trying to catch up with everything. Truthfully, the week is a bit unbalanced.
I have not been able to quite figure out a good rhythm for the first 6-weeks of the term, but as of tomorrow, we are reaching “an end” to the term… at least for me. Next week is reading break for my undergraduate and graduate courses, and next Monday is Family Day. On this welcomed break, I’ll be heading to SFU for WestCAST 2025, which BTW, I need to be planned and prepped for as well. Nonetheless, this Monday denotes “an end” for the teacher education courses I teach. It will be the last day at Harwin for “in situ” learning for EDUC 421 and the evening will entail “numeracy night” at Edgewood Elementary for EDUC 376.
We have done so many amazing things in EDUC 421 and EDUC 376 in such a short time. We participated in “in situ” learning at Harwin Elementary for three weeks where the teacher candidates have an opportunity to plan a linked lesson using BC’s Curriculum, teach students for one-hour per visit, and then reflect on their teaching experience to explore “assessment and motivation.” What I love about this experience is that the K-7 students provide immediate, in real-time feedback to the candidates if the lesson is working or not working, classroom are in the classroom to support the candidate, if needed, and candidates can co-teach, co-plan, and co-reflect with peers before their first teaching practicum.
For the numeracy class, we spent a full day with Carole Fullerton, the district numeracy teacher spent time with us to liaise with Edgewood Elementary to plan for a Numeracy Night and candidates created various math games, and we will have several guest speakers to engage candidates with different approaches in numeracy. Moreover, I am engaged in professional learning in mathematics education and bringing what I am learning to the class. I am loving all of the different things we are engaging in and I am learning lots. Most of all, my love for mathematics is rekindled from secondary to elementary. It’s fun!!
I hope that the teacher candidates are having as much fun as I am, but I am also aware that they are flooded with lots of work as well in other courses. The second term of this program seems like a lot with their first teaching practicum in the middle of the term. I am definitely empathize and as soon as I finish this blog post, I will be planning and prepping for tomorrow’s classes. As mentioned, it’s a big day tomorrow. Our last class with students at Harwin, meeting new students at Edgewood with our math games, and lots of thank you cards, etc. to give too. Slowly but surely, everything is coming together and I trust that all will be well.
OK. I’ll admit. On my other WordPress site, I have changed my #OneWord2025 from LOVE to HAPPY. “Happy” was my #OneWord2024 and it transformed my year dramatically over time and last year ended STRONG. For the last month, I’ve been mulling my new word of “love” and “joy” but it did not seem to resonate with me in the same way as HAPPY did. Given that it’s the last day of January, and we are not in the new Lunar New Year, I have returned back to HAPPY.
I am super happy that I have changed my #OneWord2025 and with a change in mindset, I feel inspired to write and get back to routines that I have established for myself, like blogging. January seemed slow for me, but not in a good way. I feel like I have finally got my bearings for the new year and need to do quite a bit of work to catch up to where I wish and want to be. If anything, though, I did what I needed to do to find some balance so that I would not feel overwhelmed.
So, let’s get to the contents of this blog post. MATH. And yes, the irony does not pass me when I titled my blog post, “Returning to My LOVE” and “I love MATH.” Yes… it’s all about LOVE. That said, it makes me HAPPY. One of the things I am going to spend some time on this year is returning to my love for math. I would have loved to have attended the Northwest Math Conference in October 2024 in Whistler, BC, but it was not in the cards for me in the fall. So, what’s next?
I took a FREE weekend session with Kendra and I was definitely curious about what her personal coaching sessions for Elementary Teachers would be like. I am a math educator, but my expertise is in secondary education. What I wanted to delve into more, which I started to do in 2023 is, NUMERACY and early math. I am learning and tonne from professional development opportunities, readings, and colleagues in the field. So, I enrolled in the coaching sessions and loving it.
I am learning from Kendra about mindsets, identity, and instructional strategies. Some of her ideas resonate with me deeply and I am learning some clever ways to teach concepts like adding and subtracting, instructional routines, and math mindsets. I am passing on some of the ideas I learn with my class as well, so the learning experience has been meta. I am also making many connections to what K-7 learn in math and what I had experienced as a Math 8-12 teacher.
I have also enrolled in the BCAMT Interior Math Conference and attending the online sessions being offered. I am super excited by the sessions being offered even though there is an in-person schedule as well. I appreciate the accessibility of this conference and I love BCAMT. I spent many years on that executive team and I appreciate their love and passion for the subject area and the practice. Of course the conference is titled, “For the Love of Math.” Again, the irony. I get it!!
Why am I delving into math when I am no longer a high school math teacher? I notice that any time I attend a conference session that connects to mathematics education, I am hooked. I am so engaged. My fire is stoked. I just wanted more of it. There is nothing like realizing what you LOVE when you feel it in ways that is exciting, memorable, and provocative. So, my job this year is to stoke that passion for math and mathematics education, and possibly my doctoral work.
Just this week, I took my EDUC 376 (Numeracy Foundations in the Elementary Years) to three 90-minute sessions with Carole Fullerton as part of the SD57 Professional Development Day. Thank you District Numeracy Teacher Jennifer Dionne and Director of Instruction Andrew Bond for making this happen for the Teacher Candidates. We spent the K-3 session and 4-7 session using Cuisnaire Rods. I appreciated the beauty and thoughtfulness of these materials, but also the use of them to build a conceptual understanding of numbers, quantity by lengths, factors, lowest common multiples, and adding and subtracting fractions.
We learned games to become familiar with these manipulatives and how it could be used in math classes (that are curricular) to teach and learn mathematics conceptually and figuring out “the why” of mathematics versus just accepting, practicing, and memorizing math algorithms and facts without critical thinking. We also got to watch an “expert teacher” in action. Carole knew the content knowledge, she read the audience well, and she was clear about her message. She embodied “Parker Palmer” and she is doing/sharing what SHE LOVES.
The workshops ended with grades 7-9 and the intention was to use Algebra Tiles. She adapted because she did not have enough materials for everyone, and she pivoted throughout the whole day, and she effectively managed to covey her math methodology to help kids learn about solving two-step algebra equations using manipulatives and quickly moved into system of equations (which is grade 11 content). I loved the natural progression and sense-making to develop “the math rules” for solving two-step equations and following the “Law of Equality” while doing so. Students can figure out the algorithm, and I also like how she transitioned from the pictorial to the symbolic. I would have used this!!
Looking back at my practice and the learners in my room, manipulatives would have been a viable way to help students to learn about fractions and algebra. I wished that I was more open to these ideas “back then” and more vulnerable to learning these ideas to adopt this pedagogy into my practice. Oh… the EGO. It’s a vicious beast sometimes. I had manipulatives, but I could have used them in a much better way to support learners in learning and loving mathematics. For some reason, I only aimed for “like” and I was admitted scared to delve in too deeply because I was unsure how things would work. Now, I’m just stoked!!
HELLO FRIDAY… and 2025. It’s the first week back to work after a wonderful, restful, and exciting winter break. So much had happened to conclude 2024 and I left that year feeling STRONG despite a challenging start. I loved how the year concluded with minor surgery, a new home, a vacation in Vegas, and a new cat. It was a wonderful way to end 2024 with much gratitude and grace. Admittedly, it took much effort from me to jump back into work to figure out new timelines, etc.
I will tell you that my new cat, Simon, did NOT like me staying up into the wee hours of the night (i.e., my tiger time) to prep for my classes. She seemed beside herself in terms of me staying up, click-clacking on the grey box, and not complying to the routines established during the winter break. I can see her disappointment and disapproval, but I had no choice but to continue working on my prep until I felt that I was ready to teach my two classes well on Monday.
Always with a new term, I am given a new schedule. I am grateful that I have taught 3 of the 4 classes I am teaching before. However, the schedule, students, and readings (also myself) do change the pace and facilitation of these courses. So, I am grateful to have some familiarity of teaching these courses, including the fourth course, of which is an online graduate course, is reassuring and makes it feel possible to ease into the winter term, there are still some changes.
I feel that this was one of my “aha’s” from 2024. The transition from the outgoing and incoming cohorts in the teacher education program seemed so dramatic or noticeable in comparison to previous years. I noticed the change in momentum, prior knowledge, and social dynamics. These differences are always a given, but for some reason, I was struck by what I needed to do to adapt my class to “meet where the students are” and continue to achieve the same learning goals.
Personally, I loved the challenge, but also to add to the mix, my job assignment changed too. So, I was approaching the fall term was different as well. Anyway, starting the winter term had similar vibes. I am teaching two 4-hour classes back-to-back on Mondays, I have an undergraduate class on Tuesday night (which is now in person), and I have a graduate class on Thursday night online. As it turns out, Sundays have now become an important working day for me.
I am on campus on Mondays and Tuesdays, the rest of the week can be spent working from home. I have been working consistently at my desk in my “new” bedroom, which has been great. I am also in the mindset with work that this is not TEMPORARY, but rather a new way of being. I am excited by the pace of the winter term and it seems to start the week very strong and then tapers throughout the rest of the week with meetings, night class, and writing-time.
What I need to figure out is to focus my “non-teaching” time to be structured in a way that I can be productive and get as many publications out that is in balance with my “teaching time.” I feel that I have a good sense how this term will go in terms of workflow, workload, and momentum. I will not sacrifice my sleep time and “be a person” time. Those are very important to me. I also realized on Thursday night on what bring me JOY (and what I LOVE to do) is TEACHING.
My writing will be on the SCHOLARSHIP OF TEACHING and staying true to my #OneWord2025, the work that I do has to be about what I love to learn about. I love learning from teaching and my research should also reflect that, as well as my curiosity, joy, and areas of interest. I am really looking forward to 2025 and the lessons, struggles, and challenges it presents for me to overcome and excel. There is nothing I love more than doing something that lifts me and others UP!!
Wow. The new year has not even started, really… and I’m flip-flopping on my #OneWord2025. I know that this one-word is not the end-all-be-all, nor will it impact others in any way (that I know of). What I do know is, it’s something that I will be focused on for 2025 and it will have an impact on me. In my last blog post, One-Word for 2025, I declared that my one-word would be JOY for 2025.
Admittedly, I loved my one-word for 2024. It was HAPPY and the year ended into something so wonderful and amazing that I could not have anticipated it. And yes, I am HAPPY (even though the year did not start out that way). I did not want that feeling to end. JOY is a beautiful extension to that word and thought I could keep “riding that train” into (more) happiness. Why not? 2024 was great!!
What I am realizing is, JOY is a given. When I am happy, I am joyful. I learned a tonne about myself last year such that I will continue this happy-train for years to come. I spent many blog posts on this platform and another writing about what’s important to me. What I understand now is, to be HAPPY. And, I am. I also know my value and can create boundaries to keep myself happy, rested, and joyful.
So, JOY is not my #OneWord2025. I am back to the word LOVE. I don’t think that is word is about romantic-love like in finding a partner. LOL. I don’t think I want that (yet) and there is so much to love. I get my romantic-love fix from my Hallmark movies. I’m good. But, you can have a romantic-love with my work, myself, and what I do (i.e., hobbies, friends/family, travel, conferences, etc.).
First of all, I love where I am. This LOVE took some time. Why? I did not know where I was, metaphorically, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Now, I feel present. I love my new home. I love my kid. I love my job. I love my cat. There is so much to love. I just LOVE cooking at home. I could not do that as well in my apartment. And, I did not know how toxic it was in my former place until I left.
I love to write. I might get started on going that self-study or auto-ethnography about my mom and how I see the world. I have a research question and I was validated several time, one time of note at a workshop I had facilitated online. I feel ready now and I had to do the difficult work of my own demons, as I was trying to figure out what it means to be HAPPY and how I can achieve it well.
Finally, this word LOVE will help guide me on how I live my life, do my work, and take care of myself, personally and professionally. There is a lot of TRUST and VULNERABILITY required, but I feel that I am ready to take this task on and do what’s best for me because I love ME and what I do. Sounds cliche, but it’s something that a colleague has been challenging me to do for years. Be selfish.
Again, LOVE can be self-indulgent, but I deserve it. No conditions. No rules. It’s just guidance, vision, JOY, and the courage to do what I love because I love it.
I’m not sure if I am about “catching up” on all of the weekly blogs posts I missed over the last few months, nor am I about blogging too regularly such that I would attempt a daily blog (again). I do like the idea, and have done in past, blogging when I feel inspired. Today is that day, despite all of the emails I need to open and some work I need (or would like) to do before 2024 ends. Here we go!!
One of the things I would like to do each year is to choose “one-word” for the year. I started doing this more than a decade ago. It was something that folks on Twitter (when #bcedchat was a thing… LOL) and I found over time that choosing one-word was so much better than making New Year Resolutions. More often than not, I would not meet any of my resolutions and feel very disappointed.
Then I shifted to my focus to One-Word. At first, I would choose words that were somewhat “work-related” or something that I “should do.” I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I would not realize the outcomes or results of those words until years later. What I learned was, when focusing on one-word, that’s what you focus on for the year. Last year, I chose my #OneWord2024 to be HAPPY.
Choosing HAPPY as my one-word was out of the ordinary for me. Unlike the other words I have chosen in the past, this word focused on the present. It had not expectations or requirements for productivity. I chose this word because I wanted to be happy. I spent several years blogging about “what’s important to me” during and post-pandemic, and what I learned is, I love being happy. 🙂
My #OneWord 2024 helped me to self-assess and evaluate what I was doing and it was important to me to engage in anything and everything that made me HAPPY. And, if it didn’t make me happy, I was able to “let it go.” I learned about my value, my values, and my boundaries. The only person who could make me happy was ME. That’s it. And guess what? I am happy. 2024 was AMAZING!!
So, what’s my #OneWord2025? At first, I thought it would be LOVE. Love who I am, love where I am, and love what I do. Strangely, that’s all true… ALREADY!! My friend gave me a set of “Be the Change” cards years ago, and I pulled one out a card just before writing this blog post, hence the inspiration. The word I pulled out was JOY. Ahhh… it just felt right. Voila. My #OneWord2025 is JOY.
Or shall I say… ENDING A YEAR?!? Where did the time go? Great question. If anything, I am so grateful for 2024. I feel that I have grown and I feel HAPPY. My #OneWord2024 was HAPPY. It was an unusual word for me to choose. Over the last decade, I would often choose words that are “work related.” But not this year. This year I focused on a way of being or rather a way of feeling: happy. One-word has offered me an alternative way to goal set or make a resolution.
When I think about my one-word of HAPPY, I think about “does this make me happy?” My one-word served as an excellent self-assessment tool. In then end, I would only what made me happy. If it was something I did not want to do, I just didn’t do it. If I did like what I was doing, I stopped or pivoted. And, I learned to recognize what I love to do. For example, I love presenting at conferences. This photo is taken in Vancouver after presenting at the FNESC Fall Conference.
I also love networking. I love connecting. And, I love building and belonging to a community. Attending and presenting at the FNESC Fall Conference with my friend, Desiree, felt like coming home. We presented at FNESC in 2018 on assessment and I missed FNESC 2019 due to job action at the university. Returning to this conference felt more like a reunion. I reconnected with so many people and I also met so many people too. Conferencing fills my cup. 🙂
The year also ends with a swift recovery from a surgical procedure. I got my gall bladder removed. I was having many gall bladder attacks over the last 5 years. On December 3, my gall bladder was removed. The day surgery experience was amazing. The wait was worth it and the timing could not have been more perfect. One week after my surgery, I visited the surgeon for a follow up session to learn that my gall bladder was inflamed and there were 40 stones in it. Yikes!
Despite having to present a couple weeks after surgery and then a family trip to Vegas a week after that, my recovery has been quick and I feel great. I felt great soon after surgery, but now that I have recovered, I never felt better. Moreover, I was grateful for my Chair and university for being so flexible and patient. To end the term, I managed to complete my marking for 3 courses and course outlines for 4 courses for next term on-time. All I could think of was, one step at a time.
Admittedly, some deadlines were not met and some things had to wait for my return from Las Vegas. This trip was something I planned with my siblings and my kid. My kid turned 21 this year and I wanted to go to the states to celebrate this new chapter in her life. She is in the middle of the third year of her program and I wanted to celebrate her “official adulthood” in the city of lights. My siblings are so supportive and I am grateful for their company and planning abilities.
You can only do what you can do… and it has to be within reason. Part of my 2024 way of being was thinking about my wellness and sustainability. I was in the practice of SLOW and being ok with what I can and cannot do. One of the things that fell of the plate was my weekly blog post (for both websites). I just did not have the capacity for it even though I wanted to do it. That’s ok. I’m back!! And voila!! I am super happy to get back at my reflective practice via blogging.
Other deadlines that were met near the end of this term were submitting conference proposals for WestCAST 2025 at SFU. Another conference, of course, and I am a part of 3 submissions. The first one is co-presenting with a few teacher candidates from the secondary education cohort, the second one I am supporting an elementary teacher candidate with her solo presentation, and finally, the third one is co-presenting with my fellow colleagues from BCTEN.
All three presentations were accepted to WestCAST 2025 and I look forward to being a part of that conference in February. I just love working with teacher candidates and with folks from other teacher education programs in BC. I feel very lucky to do the work that I do… and yes, it makes me HAPPY. I have also been engaging in research projects I enjoy being apart of and I’m learning lots. Finally, I am volunteering with groups, like the art gallery, that brings me JOY!!
To conclude 2024 and the busyness of the end of term was purchasing a home. I cannot believe that I was able to do that and I did not realize how much I was compromising, coping, and stress I was experiencing at my rental apartment until I moved into my place. I was looking for quite some time and went to a few open houses. Once the ball started rolling, I made an offer, closed the deal, and moved in to my place while teaching and ending the term. And yes, I’m happy.
I am so grateful that a former student, now colleague asked me to go out for a walk. What a good reminder about being out on the land and going outside. I’ve been so spooked to go outside from last year when there were so many bears out and about the neighbourhood. It’s more about not trusting me rather than the bears. I am definitely not “bear-aware” but I love going outside and walking. I have not been doing either as much as I would like to and it’s having an impact.
I mentioned in my last blog post about health and not being ashamed of it if it’s not going well. The goal is to do something about it. I have been struggling for the last couple of weeks and trying my best to get better while being productive. Seems like an unrealistic ask, but I am ok that I am not as productive as I could be. Slowly but surely, I’ve been trying to get back to “regular speed.” I’m not quite there yet, but I am feeling a bit better. That’s what matters. PROGRESS.
We went to the trails near the Forests of the World. We walked by the pit house and I was so enamoured by the environment. I took a lot of photos and none of them are as good as the real thing. The air was crisp and the sun was shining. Walking through the snow was like walking on the sand on the beach. It was pristine. I enjoyed our conversation and it was good to catch up. I was grateful. It was also great to see other people on the trail, walking or mountain biking.
I never thought I would be a “snow-person” but I really enjoyed going out today. Being on the land, being in good company, and appreciating this place so close ot my home was a wonderful and healing experience. Although I was not 100%, I tried my best to be in the moment and to be present. After, we went for coffee, then I went home to rest and take care of myself. Listening to my body takes intentionality, slowness, and patience. I needed to rest… and I was ok with that.
The “old Christine”…. Maybe “Christine 4″… would have just ignored myself physical symptoms and just plowed forward driven by guilt and fear. This behaviour is sadly common for teachers. It’s not a good one and I’ve done this self-neglect for a long time. Nothing is more important than your health. Without it, you have nothing, so take care of it. Being out on the land today was a wonderful reminder that I’m not alone on this journey. Going outside helps.
There has been a tonne of things happening this term. Great things!! First, I’m adjusting to teaching and trying doing research (on the side of my desk). LOL. I find that the demands are up and down and lately, I’ve been finding time to get back in a place that is “more mindful, more demure.” I found myself running around and trying to make things happen. Taking it SLOW is not a bad thing.
The irony does not escape me when I just came back from a conference in Kelowna and presenting with a few teacher candidates about educator wellness. Most times, I am modelling what not to do. I tend to work late nights and often unreasonable hours. In return, this work output is complemented with extreme REST. When sleep is a luxury, then one needs to re-evaluate the pace of life.
On October 31, 2024, the purchase of my new home was finalized and I got the call from the surgeon regarding my gallbladder. I have a date. I’ve been waiting for months to get this call and I am learning over time the seriousness of my condition. Admittedly, it’s a condition that has developed over time that I created for myself. The horror knowing how I’ve lived my life, negatively impacted me.
Anyway, the gallbladder attacks are extremely painful and will only get worse over time. I remember chatting with the surgeon in the spring and he wondered why I did not get the operation earlier (after hearing my story). The truth is, I was not taking care of myself. My health and wellness was not a priority. What a horrible thing to say, but I put everyone else’s needs and wants before mine.
A long story made short, my health was in question more than 5-years ago. I never paid attention to these physical signs of “un-wellness” until someone brings it to your attention. It started with one dental hygienist refusing to serve me due to my blood pressure, to getting my wisdom teeth removed, to getting blood pressure pills, to getting gallbladder attacks that put me in the hospital.
This blog post might be perceived as TMI, but it’s something that myself as an educator should not be ashamed or afraid to speak of (or blog about). We need to talk about our health and wellness. Seek help, when needed. The goal is to learn from these experiences. Sadly, we are creatures of habit and denial can be easily ignored. This weekend, I had another gall badder attack. It was bad.
I am so grateful that my surgery date is coming soon. This last attack entailed three stones (in sequence) that tried to pass. It was 9-hours of hoping that the pain will cease. Something that started as something that was similar heartburn to something that is so painful that you can’t do anything about it and resist the notion of going to the hospital because it’s easier to suffer in silence… is sad.
In such pain, I was unable to do work. Nothing mattered. I feel better now, but I have taken the time to recover. That took about a day and I’m just getting back into things (one step or task at a time). I’m not 100% yet but I am being gentle and kind to myself. I need to. I’m just getting back into things, like work, one step or task at a time. Time and effort must be spent on one’s health and wellness.
Post operation, I have to eat well and exercise. Again, the solutions are known and easily ignored. Part of being “happy” (my #oneword2024), is not just mental and spiritual wellness, but also the physical. I took my health for granted and now that I am getting older and experiencing symptoms (of which I’ve ignored before my gall bladder attack), I am rudely reminded of what’s really important.
