Author: christine (Page 10 of 11)

January 29, 2023 – Staying Curious

Listening. Patience. Vulnerability.

I’m starting to believe that this self-study using the Spirals of Inquiry with respect to myself as an educator and Human Development has been challenging to say the least. The idea and concept are thought provoking and wholehearted in nature, but I am finding it to be very difficult when the text chosen for my course lacks local BC or Canadian context. The voice and tone are less than appealing, and I find it hard to believe that this book was peer-reviewed many times. Is it being judgemental or am I critically thinking? There is a blurred line between the two.

In the end, I could not and cannot sustain a class that is weighed down heavily by the quality of the textbook, even though the intention is more about what information is useful for the self-study guiding question versus critiquing the book. I thought about changing the text or finding a new textbook for others. I opted to give the class choice and I was not the one going to choose that for them. Was this a wise choice? I’m not sure, but I was not going to act like I knew better. They are the experts and my job is to find a way to make the course meaningful.

Last week weighed very heavy on me. I want to be responsive and reflexive to the students in my graduate and undergraduate classes. The difference between the two classes is the relationship I have with the students. Some students I taught last semester and some students are new to me. Admittedly, the teaching load is heavy, particularly when I am concerned about “what it means to be human” in the classes I teach, but also “what it means to be human” as the educator. There are two perspectives to consider with my guiding question… me and the students.

I am also considering the SCAN with respect to the past and present. I think about my formative years as a young child and being the third child of three and I am a twin. My parents were immigrants to Canada and I was born in Canada with my brother. I learned as an adult that my dad did not feel “loved” as the first child and boy of his family and he went “out of his way” to put my twin brother on a pedestal throughout my whole life. I remember at times as a kid when he would introduce my brother to his friends, but not me. The irony is, my brother hated the attention. Yet, he was loved by community members who would just give him free things.

No chip on my shoulder. My twin brother and I are exact opposites, not just by gender. It’s almost like yin and yang. We are more like complements versus alike. After the readings of Chapter 2 and 3, what resonated with me the most was being a fraternal twin, the role of culture, and being raised in a society where my parents wanted to belong and give me a good life such that I lost most of my cultural identity as a Cantonese woman and assimilated into Canadian culture. These are my formative years. I don’t speak Cantonese, nor understand it.

I think about the Indigenous Peoples in Canada who are desperate to learn and retain their language, the land, and cultural traditions and ways of being. These elements are part of their identity. I empathize. I don’t have any of those things as a second-generation Chinese Canadian, yet I was subjected to racism as a child and continue to be as an adult through systemic ways and micro-aggressions. I am more aware of these behaviours as an adult and after George Floyd’s death. I spent most of my life trying to “fit in” and do what I thought I was suppose to do.

For these reasons, understanding humanity in my practice as an educator is important to me. What I am understanding is, many of the core beliefs I’ve held and currently hold stem from when I was born or possibly even before that. The idea of “nature versus nurture” is something to consider as I am aware that I am a product of Canadian policy of cultural erasure, much like the Indigenous Peoples. The only difference is, my parents and society assimilated me to who I am today. For a long time, I thought as was a male farmer from Saskatchewan in a past life.

My mom passed away in 2018 and I really didn’t get to know her, her values, or even her life before coming to Canada until her last few weeks of life. She never shared any stories about herself while she and I were alive together. If there was an opportune time to do so, she would stop herself from sharing almost like it was not worthwhile sharing. I was not sure if it was shame or if she did not want to burden us with her stories. All I know now is, I want to know more so that I can know more about who I am. My dad did write an autobiography but apparently most of it is not true. Sadly, of this huge book, by siblings and I took up 3 pages.

I digress.

I enter 2023, celebrating Chinese New Year and the Year of the Rabbit, hunting all over Prince George for a good dumpling. I was so desperate to find Chinese food that reminded me of my mom and my culture. I spent the whole last year looking for Chinese food in Prince George. There is some, but nothing like what my mom made or what we ate in Vancouver, Burnaby, and Richmond. I was so driven to find a good dumpling and imagined my mom over 50-years ago doing the same thing. I’m sure there was nothing in Prince Rupert in the 1970’s and 80’s. She just had to make it, which my kid did for me on Chinese New Year’s. She made me lo bok go.

I wonder about the association of food with one’s memories, identities, and human development. Chinese food is my only association with my mom and my cultural identity. Going back to my inquiry question, I spent most of my life being someone who I was not, being compliant, and following rules that made no sense to me. As a result, I felt like I had to disassociate with myself, abandon who I was, and betray myself and my values to “get ahead” in the world to prove my worth to others.

This understanding is learned. I am curious with respect to human development how I learned this way of being and why I am willing at this stage of life to abandon the “rat race” of life and just do what’s right for me and the people I serve. Why do I feel like in mid to late adulthood that “getting ahead” does not matter to me. I understand now that I am going to make an impression whether if I try or not. I am also understanding in this stage of my life that I rather be true to myself and as a natural consequence, things may not go my way and that I may not please others.

I will remain curious in the Human Development course and Inquiry course as a learner and educator. I am also committed to a weekly blog to reflect on the readings and on my guiding question of becoming more human in my practice. I begin to question why I was the way I was, how I’ve developed, and the power of policy and practice to one’s way of being. I conclude this blog post with my big aha after last week’s class on influence of the economy and societal values of “what is normal” and “what is desirable.” It was definitely called to question during class.

January 19, 2023 – I am wondering if SCAN is my first step in the Spirals of Inquiry for my self-study and inquiry. I think it’s almost a combination of a HUNCH and scan as I attempt to narrow my inquiry with FOCUS. I’m going to use this blog post to flesh out some of my ideas so far and where I am heading in my inquiry with both EDUC 405 and EDUC 633, two courses I’m teaching this term.

In a previous blog post, I declared my inquiry question: What does it mean to be human as an educator? At first glance, this question seems counterintuitive. Why wouldn’t you be “human” in a human-oriented organization or system (i.e., schools, higher education, research, etc.)? I have a huge interest in human behaviour, but for many years in my practice I felt detached from the human experience.

Let me unpack this feeling of detachment, schools, and teaching/learning. As a child, I had always felt that school was utilitarian. It was not my most favourite places to go (unlike my older sister) and I had a twin brother who as naturally brilliant (i.e., usually top 5 students in our grade and grad class), I always felt “in the shadow” to my siblings and I was an average or above average student.

I was not one to win academic awards, nor to I expect them or even try. I was always in search for something that resonated with me and my strengths. I had no idea what I was good at, but I know that I really disliked reading, reading aloud, and reading in general. As you are reading, READING was not my jam and school and achievement is highly dependent on reading for academic performance.

I wonder about the role of culture and my feelings towards school. I am a second-generation Chinese Canadian woman. My parents (and older sister) immigrated to Canada in the last 1960’s and eventually landed in Prince Rupert, BC where my brother and I were born and raised. I understood the importance of school and perceived high stakes for post-secondary education, career, and livelihood.

Now looking back, I can see the influence my parents had being immigrants to Canada and looking for a better life, the era of being assimilated, and the perceived pressure of doing as well as my siblings in schools. It as important to succeed and I looked up to my siblings, so much so that I learned early to look outside for approval and validation versus looking inside for self-belonging.

Admittedly, I did not expect this blog post to take the direction it did and it appears that I am still in the SCAN with respect to wondering about my inquiry question and looking at the reasons why “becoming more human” as an educator is important for me, why it is so scary for me to consider and implement, and why this humanness is important to students, the learning experiences, and myself.

The irony does not escape me. I hate reading and I’m an academic. Let me be vulnerable and META shall we say by being “human” in my approach with my inquiry. Part of being human is being vulnerable. To compliment vulnerability is compassion, kindness, and self-respect. I have nothing to hide and I’m curious about how Human Development can inform part of my inquiry and self-study.

Happy New Year and Hello 2023. After exercising deliberate rest during winter break, coming back to work and the new year can only bring welcomed surprises. Last term as been one of the best I’ve had teaching in higher education. My role changed, thus my approach to teaching and my work shifted and transformed.

I feel so lucky to transition into a new way of being. Change is always scary at first and sometimes the lesson is more about letting go and embracing what’s next. Last year, my #OneWord2022 was COMMIT. When I chose that one-word, my intention was primarily focused on work. I wanted to “commit” to research.

For years after leaving K-12 teaching, I spent much of my time finding myself, sprinkling ideas here and there, and trying different things in education. I thought if I could “commit” to research, I could further advance in my career in higher education. I published papers, worked on research projects, and got coaching.

I’m realizing that my big lofty intentions will take time and patience. Shifting my job also helped, but I was also committed to creating a life here in Prince George with my daughter. Living with her has been going very well so far. What I did learn is, by the end of the year what I was really committing to was myself. Humbled.

So, you may have an intention at first when choosing one-word, but over time it can manifest different outcomes that are unexpected and in my case, wonderful. I’ve been practicing One-Word for about 10-years. I do like it much more than New Year’s Resolutions and I can always lean on my word for solace and insight.

My #OneWord2023 is READ. It’s not just about reading articles and books, which can lend to my personal and professional learning. But I am also thinking about reading the room, reading human behaviour, and reading my feelings and intuition. I’m not sure how READ will unravel in 2023, but I’m open to how it will manifest.

Spirals of Inquiry as a Self-Study

One of the things that I love to do as an educator is finding ways in which I can BE THE LEARNER. It’s more than just learning the content in preparation for a lesson. I enjoy trying out new ideas such as designing summative and formative assignments that are meaningful and purposeful. In my master’s course that I’m teaching, I imagined the intersection between the Spirals of Inquiry with self-study within the limitations of the practice and context is the course content. I often wonder new applications of currently known initiatives and trying it out.

It’s been a few years since I started contributing to this blog and portfolio, but I am motivated to get it updated and complete it to it’s entirety so that my work can also serve as an exemplar for my students in teacher education and graduate studies. It’s also nice returning to WordPress on my laptop. My other personal WordPress site I can only access it from my phone or iPad. I love that site so much, it’s hard for me to let go of. I am also maintaining my #pandemicreflections, a weekly blog I have committed to since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.

I think that I will share the Spirals of Inquiry (2017) with my EDUC 405 class as a framework for their inquiry in Teacher Education. They can use the framework for several iterations over the course of the program. There are 12-months remaining. I’ll use the framework too to see if I enjoy it as a framework for a self-study. That’s what I had introduced to my EDUC 633 class. I am wholehearted and committed to personalized learning. The learning has to be meaningful to the learner. It’s not about compliance, fear, or grade acquisition. It’s about broadening the self and deepening one’s understanding driven by one’s curiosity, wonder, and pure joy.

I am writing this blog post to introduce my 2023 Inquiry Question. I thought about this question over the winter break. I was sick soon after the term ended. I spent many days just trying to get better. It took some time. Then, I just had to rest. I called it “deliberate rest.” I went out of my way to rest. I did not travel anywhere. I did not visit to many people. I did not do work. I spent my time cleaning, sleeping, and watching Hallmark movies. That’s it. I felt more human over time. I was happy. People made note of my changed disposition and I had time to take care of myself.

Admittedly, I never felt better. I started walking again, drinking water, and eating better. I lost 10 pounds during the break. I needed to rest despite all of the work I have to and want to do. Now I’m back at work. It’s been a steep start to the term. That was a decision I made with deliberate rest. The natural consequence is going 100% on my return. I don’t know why I expect that from myself, but I have done so for decades in this career. It’s not healthy or wise. For a couple of nights, I went to bed at 430am because I was busy trying to get things done and prep for teaching.

Today was horrible. I mean, nothing dramatic but it was definitely noticeable. I’m tired. I’m reactive. I’m not as adaptable. And, I just fell of the health-wagon. No water. No lunch. A coffee in the morning and 8 dumplings for dinner. OK… and some veggie sticks during a Zoom meeting. It was a full day of teaching and I taught online last night. I stayed up late to prep and it was not fully thought out. What I’m saying is… maybe not horrible, but it could have been better. Much better. I’ve noticed that work stress leads to poor life habits and I feel awful.

My Inquiry Question: What does it mean to be human when I am an educator?

I thought of this question during the winter break and today was an excellent example of how not to be and how most of my life was lived as a professional. It’s not healthy mentally, socially, or physically. I can be a better person and I deserve it. Even as we speak, I should be sleeping and not blogging. It’s 12:18am. I’m tired but oddly driven to get this done before tomorrow’s (aka. today’s) class. What is this drive about and how can be a HUMAN in my practice and way of being. I will continue blogging and proceed through the 6-steps of the Spirals of Inquiry.

My headspace is already engaged in the first step of the inquiry, SCANNING, but I need to go to bed. Shall I call this “deliberate sleep”? TBD. In the meantime, I look forward to this inquiry and where it will lead me this term and how it will iterate overtime. We will engage in the Spirals of Inquiry a few times during the year for the Teacher Candidates, and one cycle with my graduate students this term. The Spirals of Inquiry offers a viable framework to be curious about teaching and learning, but also engage in action research that is meaningful and purposeful.

EDUC 431 – December 3, 2019 – REFLECTION

When you are a teacher, you have to be willing to be a LEARNER. One would have to be vulnerable, curious, and resilient. You would also have to have a clear vision, purpose, and efficacy to forge forward and delve into what is possible. The EGO has to step aside and make way, otherwise FEAR will overwhelm you. I felt that way when I was first assigned EDUC 431 – EdTech in Teacher Education. I blog. I maintain a website. I am on Twitter and use it professional learning… but I do not claim to be an EdTech teacher. Over the summer, I was blessed with the serendipitous opportunity to be a guest speaker for Dr. Valerie Irvine’s class at UVIC. She contacted me and asked if I would on DM via Twitter. I said, “of course I would,” but wondered why she would be asking ME to guest speak to her EdTech class. She said, “because you are a regular teacher using EdTech as professional learning.” This is true. I had a great time speaking with her class via video conferencing and I was in very good company, with people other EdTech gurus like Alec Couros, Jesse Miller, and Ian Landy. It was also an opportunity to get to know Valerie and her passion and expertise as a Professor in EdTech at UVIC. Nonetheless, I was inspired by what Valerie did with her intro graduate EdTech course and wondered if I could do that with EDUC 431 at #UNBCED.

I am not an EdTech expert, per se… but I am willing to try and imagine what a learning experience in EdTech with me as the instructor could look like. I am very grateful to Valerie with her willingness to play and try something new. She is a great mentor and she is very generous with her time and knowledge. So, I started to ask people in my PLN (professional learning network) to see if they were willing to participate and share what they knew about EdTech with my EDUC 431 class. I have no budget. I’m not flying anyone in. I just asked if they were willing to share and speak to my students. Not one person said no. (Wow… that was a double negative… let me rephrase that). EVERYONE SAID YES!!! This is the “true educator.” No fear. Passionate. Willing to share and wants to share. The time it would take to prep for my class and then speak to my class OVERWHELMS and HEARTENS ME. I gave out little gifts to each of our speakers because that’s the least I could do. I have so much gratitude for each of my colleagues who stepped up and stepped in. I became the learner and facilitator. I was designing the course. I will assess and evaluate student learning. But it was my colleagues who shared their wealth of knowledge and expertise to my students (aka. soon to be teachers). What I had hoped for was for my students to learn a little bit more about EdTech and how it supports student learning, sample some EdTech tools, and create a digital footprint. In the end, we got so much more out of this course than EdTech.

We walked away with a few big ideas from EdTech. (1) Use EdTech with a PURPOSE. If you can accomplish the same thing without using technology, don’t use technology. (2) Do not be consume… but CREATE. Use technology so that students can create versus consume. Write stories. Connect with others globally. To find one’s voice. (3) Technology makes learning ACCESSIBLE. Technology can be inclusive for students to demonstrate their learning, but also accessible to those who may need additional support with reading or writing… or is unable to attend class and learn face-to-face. I really appreciated these three big ideas about EdTech and how EVERYONE who was invited to speak said very similar things… which tells me, THIS IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW. We also discussed FOIPPA, privacy of students, and where data is kept on appropriate servers. We talked about digital citizenship and digital literacy… but in fact, we were living it. Many of the students, if not most, did not have a digital footprint prior to this course. One of my core beliefs, but also found in my research is, you cannot teach what you have not learned or experienced. So, part of this course was to develop their own e-Portfolio that show exemplars Professional Standards of BC Teachers, expresses their voice and values as a teaching professional, and personalizes and depicts their learning journey in Teacher Education. We also used Twitter.

I think the BIGGEST take-away for me had NOTHING to do with EdTech… but it was the week to week experience of watching and collaborating with an EXPERT TEACHER who is passionate about what they do. That was amazing to me. One example after another, students in EDUC 431 had the opportunity to observe and interact with teachers from all over BC to engage and talk about EdTech in K-12. You can’t get that from anywhere!!! What a gift. I felt that it was a gift and that was the first time that I’ve experienced that degree of professional learning. One can only get excited about EdTech because each of these educators were excited about EdTech and their perspective on EdTech with respect to teaching and learning. It was INCREDIBLE to say the least. My second take-away, which is reminiscent of the book (as seen above), “The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do,” is that you need to accept HELP FROM OTHERS. I am so blessed to have an AMAZING PLN. I may have mentioned that already. Each person was so supportive and caring. I just loved that EDUC 431 was an opportunity for me to deepen my relationships with these people that extended beyond Twitter and for some, was face-to-face. For example, one of our presenters drove 4-hours to Prince George TWICE to share her love for EdTech with my students. I was extremely humbled. Finally, my third take-away was my students’ learning. They had to figure out what would work for them or not as future practitioners. Some really flew with what was being presented but also what they are doing on Twitter and e-Portfolios. I kinda want to say they have EXCEEDED my expectations, but I will say I am HAPPY that they found the “goods internal” to the practice of EdTech. That’s the ultimate win!!!

I want to give a HUGE thanks to Grant Potter at the University who provided much tech support the beginning and throughout this course. I could not have done this course without him and his expertise with WordPress and OpenETC. I want to thank all of my guest speakers (see list below). I know this is only scraping the surface of EdTech. What an amazing field and tool that supports and enhances student learning and student learning experiences. Thank you EDUC 431 students for coming on this ride with me. You have been incredible throughout this course, with the ups and downs of tech issues, but also with what you have learned in this course to personalize your learning and find relevance to your teaching practice. And my last comment is this… why am I writing this blog? I wanted to experience what my students were experiencing. Although I did design the learning experience, took on the role as facilitator versus instructor, and created the course framework, I wanted to engage in what the students were doing and expected to do. I wanted to model learning. And, my e-Portfolio is still in progress, but I will complete this e-Portfolio at the same time as this teacher education cohort.  Here’s to EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING at it’s finest. Yay for learning!!!

THANK YOU… to the following EdTech educators who shared their expertise:

• Ian Landy @technolandy – Value of e-Portfolios
• Sandra McAulay @sandramcaulay72 – Accessibility and Coding
• Noelle Pepin @Noelle_Pepin – Ozobots
• Valerie Irvine – @_valeriei Technology as Social Justice
• Sally Song @MsSallySong – Journey with EdTech and Office 365
• Cliff Waldie @CliffWaldie – Freshgrade
• Carrie Antoniazzi @carrieantoniazz – Computational Thinking
• Karen Lirenman @KLirenman – Technology in the Classroom
• Tim Cavey @MisterCavey – Podcasts
• Kristina Tzetzos @SpinndleInc – Assessment As Learning
• Janet Chow @JanetChowMSc – Challenges and Purpose of EdTech