Week 156 – March 12, 2023 – Don’t lose sight of what’s good
It’s super interesting continued my pedagogical journey and pandemic reflections on this WordPress site but I am totally appreciating the updated platform and the use of my laptop. These are all good things. I do miss my former WordPress site and it remains active, but I’m not just too sure how much I will add to it now.
This has been an interesting week or so. I’ve been deliberating next steps with my career (and life). I am committed to living authentically and wholeheartedly. I’ve been enjoying my practice in the last two terms with both my undergraduate and graduate classes. I’ve been taking some risks, but also finding more alignment.
Admittedly, I am so grateful to have so many critical friends who are willing to offer their help or opinions to offer me the clarity I need to move forward. For example, I just had a recent conversation with a good friend who suggested that I should put my name in brackets. You’ll notice this change on my website header.
I need that guidance (or scaffolding) as I am learning how to take next steps that are best for myself. I’ve been too much in service to others such that I lost myself and what was important to me. Being 156 weeks into the pandemic, this time to reflect was key to helping me to define what’s important to me and live my dream.
As I sought for some support and guidance from those who I trust and respect, I engaged in a few conversations that has shifted my thinking and insecurities to a place of learning and making decisions that are aligned to my dreams. I have a dream and I am so grateful to those who reminded me of it and to stick to it.
I find myself catching my breath and being ok with these next steps. I am brought to some of my learning from the Human Development self-study. There were a few paragraphs committed to “growth mindset” and “fixed mindset” where it differentiated “learning goals” versus “performance goals.” Oh my… I get it.
Anyway, I will be exploring this thinking further in my next blog reflecting on my self-study and some of the aha’s I’m learning about Human Development. Shifting mindsets is key and it’s has been a bit muddled over the last week and a bit. I have the clarity I sought and I’m not losing sight of my dream. It’s one step at a time.
Huh. I never thought I would be here blogging on my sample portfolio site that I use with my undergraduate and graduate students. I currently teach a couple of courses at the university that uses portfolio as an integral part of the course: EDUC 405 and EDUC 796. I feel so grateful to be teaching these courses as well as the others that led up to these courses: EDUC 431, EDUC 490, and EDUC 491. I am hoping to complete this portfolio this year (or term). I started this portfolio a few years ago during EDUC 431 with intentions of completing, but here I am.
First, I would like to note, it is Week 155 of the COVID-19 pandemic, hence the sub-title. Second, let me introduce this blog post and “Transitioning from A to B.” I was first introduced to WordPress 10-years ago when I opened a website for my independent consulting business. I left teaching in K-12 and I was working on my dissertation. At first, I thought it would take a year to complete my dissertation, but it took me a lot longer. I became a school trustee and started a consulting business. I tutored math and hired to do workshops and curriculum writing.
A long story made short, I met an entrepreneur at a gathering with other women and hired her to make my website: https://christineyounghusband.com/ The website was much nicer which it was first designed. I’ve added to the WordPress and made some edits as my career changed over time. I served two terms as a school trustee, defended my dissertation, and became an Assistant Professor at the university. Life had shifted again many ways. I moved and I must have threw away the two-authentication codes and bought a new phone with the app.
In end end, I lost access to my WordPress site via my laptop. I locked myself out of my own website because I was spooked by getting cyber attacked. I got lots of email notifications of people or bots wanting to hack my account. I thought that the two step authentication was a good idea, but much like Skype, it’s too secure for me to navigate. I had no idea what I was doing. Still don’t. I guess this is the beauty of learning. I managed to blog since because I had access to a WordPress app. With updates and change in apps, I started to lose good access to my site.
Error 429, long delays to save or update, and the inability to upload photos were only a few symptoms (or reasons) why to change to a new platform. Letting go is so difficult. In some ways, I didn’t want things to change even though I was adapting many time to get to My Last Post. No picture, no editing, and no sense of hope. When do you say goodbye? Last night, I just had to. I could not continue doing what I was doing. As a friend said to me during my dissertation, “to what end?” A strange metaphor, my blog disfunction, but it resonates with me in many ways.
So here I am, continuing my blog post writing on this WordPress platform with Week 155 of my pandemic reflections, thoughts on EDUC 633 Self inquiry and Human Development, and artefacts or memories from teaching and learning. Something to consider is to change the format of my blog. When I started writing it was a means for me to practice writing and reflecting. I appreciated the high stakes nature of blogging and my writing skills have developed over time.
Who knows what’s next. What I am learning is, no one really knows. I am now deciding whether or not to continue paying for my URL for my work blog. If I let that go then I lose all access to my website. Am I willing to have my former work website to be digital debris. Would anyone be able to find it when it doesn’t have it’s URL? Where does all of that data go? And, who really cares? I guess it’s me right now. Another lesson is, it’s one step at a time. All will unravel as it should.
February 15, 2023 – Here is a super cute picture of me and my twin brother. It’s funny to look at this photo. I feel that I have some recollection of this image, that is, the other school photos taken and photos were taken of me alone, when it should have been my older sister. My brother and I were in Kindergarten in this photo, making my sister 9-years old or in Grade 4. Anyway, what I do remember is my mom getting very upset about the mistake and I was just following the rules.
I guess I will take a moment and reflect on this week’s readings from EDUC 633. Everyone is reading different resources, within a scope. I have opted to read the Open Online resource on Human Development while others stayed with the textbook originally chosen by the crew a the beginning of the course or choosing to do directed readings. Admittedly, this creates a very diverse approach to the course. Not all of us are reading the same thing at the same time nor am I lecturing to the class about understanding one way of set of knowledge. It’s a self-study.
What I really enjoy about teaching in higher education is designing courses where the student can choose their end game and how much they want to extend their learning (within reason). I am learning how to be more kind and compassionate to myself and others. It also aligns to my self-study inquiry about becoming “more human” in my classes and looking through the lens of human development. This weeks readings was affirming to my hypothesis of course design that not all chapters will relate or make connections to your inquiry question and self study.
This week, I read the “Early Childhood” chapter and what interested me was the idea of language development and cognitive development. I watched or read something last week week about language being acquired in the womb. That the fetus is listening to sounds and become more acquainted with the rhythm of the language that the mom speaks and the newborn would be more responsive to those sounds. I wonder if this is why my brother and I speak and only understand English and my sister (who was born in Hong Kong) understands Cantonese.
The Early Childhood chapter introduced Piaget and Vygotsky and how at this age, children are learning about initiative versus guilt, self-regulating behaviours, and executive functioning. I think about how compliance is formed and the scaffolded steps to internalized behaviours and standards. Looking back at the image above, I was definitely compliant and following the rules (of the adult) and I was definitely distressed by the response back from the parent who was disappointed and angry. My parent’s response had an impact on me to internalize what was good or bad.
I appreciated the comments in the chapter about parenting and in some cultures focus on the importance of the collective versus autonomy and individualism. I found this helpful as well as Vygotsky’s Zones of Proximal Development and the idea that we are developing from what we learn and can attain versus Piaget’s thoughts of developing first before we learn. This age range of 4-7 has dramatic growth in terms of language acquisition and morality, but cognitive development remains early with limitations like egocentrism, false beliefs, and literal meanings.
I am catching up with my blog reflections so here I go to speak to the original entry which was last week’s reading on FAMILIES. It was interesting to me to have a bias about this resource, specifically with Chapter 4, but as it turns out, it is the chapter that I believe has a huge impact on my self-study question with respect to why I may have chose it. The chapter begins with parenting and I wrestle between the terms of “authoritative” and “authoritarian.” I feel like I experienced the latter in my childhood. My parents were immigrants who worked very hard to make a living and provide us with the best “future trajectory” as second-generation Canadians.
This section of the chapter also acknowledges the role of culture and parenting styles. Sometimes I think my parents were caught between two paradigms of the Western culture, assimilation, and individualism compared to the strict Chinese culture and collectivism. Sibling relationships has had an impact on who I am in terms of being the unexpected twin child. My sister was the first child and my twin brother was the first boy. I love my siblings dearly and they take care of me as adults in adulthood, but I spent many years living in their shadow and complying to what I perceived was expected of me as the third child. I was definitely #3.
“Higher Order Contexts of Parenting” was a transformative section of the reading for me. The text returns to Brofenbrenner’s macrosystems and the concept of status hierarchies and race, and how macrosystems influence the microsystem. Whew. That was a mouthful. I shared in my class that I hated going food shopping with my mom as a child because she always bought “X” bread (i.e., day old bread). My parents were visible minorities, pressured to assimilate, and we were living in poverty. I remember my mom’s ongoing stress about money and the worry about the pulp mill shutting down (i.e., where my dad worked). Racism was alive and well and much of my life (and suspect my parents’ lives) were about “fitting in.”
My mom worked two full-time jobs (I believe when I was really young). I hear stories about her working a full shift at the cannery (I remember the fishy smell) and then working at the pulp mill cafeteria for a full shift. She didn’t sleep. As she is working, who is taking care of us? My dad worked at the pulp mill (underemployed as a lab technician… he was a gas engineer in Hong Kong) and had a side hustle of being self-employed. All I remember that he did was dry fish. LOL. But I believe that it was related to chemistry and gas engineering. TBH. I’m not really sure.
The idea of class and race plays an integral role in the lives of immigrant families and second-generation Canadian children. I can see that my parents, primarily my mom was parenting under stress. She always put a strong face on, but dang… she wanted to control the situation. She was also self-employed, catered banquets, and led a life trying to achieve the Canadian dream. She kept all of the stories of her culture and her past to herself. The only connection I have to my culture as a Cantonese person is through food. Other concepts like “implicit bias” and I will mention systemic racism and microagressions had/have a huge impact on me.
Cognitively I know that these ideas are socially constructed and much of my existence was focussed through a deficit lens. I am aligned to the author’s calls to action to reinvent the higher-order contexts, minimize disparity and reduce income inequity, and ensure that all families have access to basic conditions. This three acts are an investment in the future and how babies enter into the world and contribute to society. My parents were never divorced, but wonder what impact my divorce has on my kid. That said, I have never been more happy and free. My final comment is the author’s about understanding reliance in all this advsersity.
February 5, 2023 – It’s the 15th day of Lunar New Year (aka. Chinese New Year) celebration and it’s a full moon… the Lantern Festival Day. This is intentional. The first night of the full moon… and here I am blogging about my self-study in Human Development (and implications for education). I struggled the week before with the resource and admittedly, the voice of the textbook chosen could be better. I’m not sure if I’m feeling like there is an inherent bias embedded in the textbook, but I too am biased in my own ways. Anyway, I opted to read the creative commons textbook this week and found it very enlightening. The voice is better and I found the content very relevant to my self-study as I engage in the Spirals of Inquiry.
I am SCANNING and LEARNING from the textbook (regardless of which learning resource I am referring to) and I created a guiding question early in the course to FOCUS my inquiry with hopes narrowing or retrieving information that insightful to my inquiry. At first, I chose my inquiry because of my experience in schools as a teacher, learner, and parent and desire to embed more humanity into the learning experience. What I am understanding is, maybe this need and desire I have for humanity in education originated from when I was first born and lessons learned as an infant. I am a little surprised by this and anticipate that other stages in life has also motivated my self-study, but I believe that I’m developing a HUNCH.
The HUNCH in the Spirals of Inquiry is “What’s leading to this situation?” In the chapter that I’ve read about infancy, the conception section of the reading did not resonate with me as much except for the idea that the fetus can hear and feel before they are born. Also, there is possibility systems and my I am beginning to develop a HUNCH. Even though my self-study is focused on “how to be more human in my practice,” I am realizing that my need for community, acceptance, and belonging in my classes and practice may have started in my early years as an infant and toddler. There seems to be many connections to infancy that I would like to document here as part of my ongoing work in this self-study and readings.
In reflective journals, I asked my students to annotate each weekly reading with content that related to their guiding question and identify any wonderings or curiosities they may have. As mentioned, the textbook can be off-putting so I opted to read the Creative Commons textbook on human development. Similar topics but the textbook is subdivided differently. I appreciated the approach to the content from the online resource, the voice used, and attempts to diversify points of view. What I will reflect on are the topics that resonated with me and my guiding question. I was left thinking about the impacts of Canadian policy to my identity, the role of culture and assimilation to the parenting I received, and my sense of self, identity, and efficacy were imprinted on my psyche at an early age.
“The developmental task of infancy is trust vs. mistrust, and it is negotiated in the establishment of a secure attachment relationship with the caregiver” as cited directed from the text. The theory of attachment resonated with me deeply. I have always struggled with trust. As the third child of the family (aka. the unexpected twin) of immigrant parents who worked around the clock to survive and support us, I wonder how present my mom was in terms of these early years. I hear stories that she worked two full time jobs, one at the fish cannery and the other at the pulp mill cafeteria. I am not sure how old I was when she did worked these two jobs but suspect I was very young. I don’t recall having a caring relationship with my mom or dad. I’m not sure if that was cultural or because they were always working. It might be a bit of both, but I believe that my parents did their best.
Harlow’s research on “contact comfort” as being essential for attachment and Bowlby’s theory on a “secure based” was something I shared with my child when she was growing up. I know that she felt a sense of security and was attached to me when I would take her to drop in at public health and she would be roaming everywhere as a little bub. She was always independent and knew that I was there for her when she needed me. On reflection, I’m not sure if I ever felt that way as an adult. Risk is relative, but I do not stray too far from being comfortable, even though I know I need to step out of my bubble to experience and learn things. I think my kid has a secure attachment style, whereas I see myself as ambivalent.
The “internal working model” developed at 4-months also resonates with me. The infant is taking notes on the reliability and availability of their caregivers. As an adult, I can understand that my parents worked hard to make a living in Canada, being under employed, and creating a life that would be easier for their children. As I reread the text, that these internal working models and inner representations manifest in behaviour. If the experience is negative then it would be difficult for the child to be authentic, and in relationships for insecure-resistant adolescents (aka. me) would be ambivalent to romance, but resentful when needs are not met. Oh my… this scenario describes me (i.e., and my 30-year marriage) precisely.
The developmental task of toddlerhood is autonomy vs. shame and doubt. This is super interesting to me when I compare my kid to myself. She is independent, confident, and autonomous. I would say as her mom when she was small was, “you’re not the boss of me.” She oozed that way of being, even to adulthood. I wanted her to explore, take risks, and be her own person. Me, on the other hand, my mom was “over critical and controlling” or over protective such that I crave safety and security. I am very critical of myself and insecure of my strengths. In terms of temperament, I think I was “slow to warm.” Looking back at old photos, I was not the happiest kid next to my siblings. I was not a crier. I might have been an “easy child” but agree that parenting is bidirectional; we respond to each other. Being a “good match” with parenting and temperament is key to development.
Self-conscious emotions such as shame, guilt, and doubt develop when the toddler is developing their self concept. Toddlers engage in social referencing to gauge the situation and then use that information to act. Different facial expression may attract or withdrawal the toddler. Emotional self-regulation and sense of self occur during this time. I can imagine how development during infancy and toddlerhood could explain my sense of self, temperament, and sense of security or trustworthiness of the world. Infantile amnesia has erased my memories of how I was nurtured during infancy and toddlerhood, but what is being described does not seem unreasonable to explain why and how I think and behave as a adult.
The chapter ends with cognitive development and language acquisition. I wonder about my language acquisition and development being taught English by parents who spoke Cantonese as their first language. I understand the phenomenon of being ESD (English as a Second Dialect) but I also wonder why I was unable to speak or understand any Cantonese. I get suspicious of Canadian policy and the desire for assimilation as a second-generation Chinese child, but you would think that I would have acquired some knowledge or ability as a young child. I have huge difficulties understanding any Chinese or the desire or will to retain the language. I will continue to be curious and see what the next stages of development offers.
Learning on the land – Lheidli T’enneh Memorial Park and the Fraser River
January 29, 2023 – Staying Curious
Listening. Patience. Vulnerability.
I’m starting to believe that this self-study using the Spirals of Inquiry with respect to myself as an educator and Human Development has been challenging to say the least. The idea and concept are thought provoking and wholehearted in nature, but I am finding it to be very difficult when the text chosen for my course lacks local BC or Canadian context. The voice and tone are less than appealing, and I find it hard to believe that this book was peer-reviewed many times. Is it being judgemental or am I critically thinking? There is a blurred line between the two.
In the end, I could not and cannot sustain a class that is weighed down heavily by the quality of the textbook, even though the intention is more about what information is useful for the self-study guiding question versus critiquing the book. I thought about changing the text or finding a new textbook for others. I opted to give the class choice and I was not the one going to choose that for them. Was this a wise choice? I’m not sure, but I was not going to act like I knew better. They are the experts and my job is to find a way to make the course meaningful.
Last week weighed very heavy on me. I want to be responsive and reflexive to the students in my graduate and undergraduate classes. The difference between the two classes is the relationship I have with the students. Some students I taught last semester and some students are new to me. Admittedly, the teaching load is heavy, particularly when I am concerned about “what it means to be human” in the classes I teach, but also “what it means to be human” as the educator. There are two perspectives to consider with my guiding question… me and the students.
I am also considering the SCAN with respect to the past and present. I think about my formative years as a young child and being the third child of three and I am a twin. My parents were immigrants to Canada and I was born in Canada with my brother. I learned as an adult that my dad did not feel “loved” as the first child and boy of his family and he went “out of his way” to put my twin brother on a pedestal throughout my whole life. I remember at times as a kid when he would introduce my brother to his friends, but not me. The irony is, my brother hated the attention. Yet, he was loved by community members who would just give him free things.
No chip on my shoulder. My twin brother and I are exact opposites, not just by gender. It’s almost like yin and yang. We are more like complements versus alike. After the readings of Chapter 2 and 3, what resonated with me the most was being a fraternal twin, the role of culture, and being raised in a society where my parents wanted to belong and give me a good life such that I lost most of my cultural identity as a Cantonese woman and assimilated into Canadian culture. These are my formative years. I don’t speak Cantonese, nor understand it.
I think about the Indigenous Peoples in Canada who are desperate to learn and retain their language, the land, and cultural traditions and ways of being. These elements are part of their identity. I empathize. I don’t have any of those things as a second-generation Chinese Canadian, yet I was subjected to racism as a child and continue to be as an adult through systemic ways and micro-aggressions. I am more aware of these behaviours as an adult and after George Floyd’s death. I spent most of my life trying to “fit in” and do what I thought I was suppose to do.
For these reasons, understanding humanity in my practice as an educator is important to me. What I am understanding is, many of the core beliefs I’ve held and currently hold stem from when I was born or possibly even before that. The idea of “nature versus nurture” is something to consider as I am aware that I am a product of Canadian policy of cultural erasure, much like the Indigenous Peoples. The only difference is, my parents and society assimilated me to who I am today. For a long time, I thought as was a male farmer from Saskatchewan in a past life.
My mom passed away in 2018 and I really didn’t get to know her, her values, or even her life before coming to Canada until her last few weeks of life. She never shared any stories about herself while she and I were alive together. If there was an opportune time to do so, she would stop herself from sharing almost like it was not worthwhile sharing. I was not sure if it was shame or if she did not want to burden us with her stories. All I know now is, I want to know more so that I can know more about who I am. My dad did write an autobiography but apparently most of it is not true. Sadly, of this huge book, by siblings and I took up 3 pages.
I digress.
I enter 2023, celebrating Chinese New Year and the Year of the Rabbit, hunting all over Prince George for a good dumpling. I was so desperate to find Chinese food that reminded me of my mom and my culture. I spent the whole last year looking for Chinese food in Prince George. There is some, but nothing like what my mom made or what we ate in Vancouver, Burnaby, and Richmond. I was so driven to find a good dumpling and imagined my mom over 50-years ago doing the same thing. I’m sure there was nothing in Prince Rupert in the 1970’s and 80’s. She just had to make it, which my kid did for me on Chinese New Year’s. She made me lo bok go.
I wonder about the association of food with one’s memories, identities, and human development. Chinese food is my only association with my mom and my cultural identity. Going back to my inquiry question, I spent most of my life being someone who I was not, being compliant, and following rules that made no sense to me. As a result, I felt like I had to disassociate with myself, abandon who I was, and betray myself and my values to “get ahead” in the world to prove my worth to others.
This understanding is learned. I am curious with respect to human development how I learned this way of being and why I am willing at this stage of life to abandon the “rat race” of life and just do what’s right for me and the people I serve. Why do I feel like in mid to late adulthood that “getting ahead” does not matter to me. I understand now that I am going to make an impression whether if I try or not. I am also understanding in this stage of my life that I rather be true to myself and as a natural consequence, things may not go my way and that I may not please others.
I will remain curious in the Human Development course and Inquiry course as a learner and educator. I am also committed to a weekly blog to reflect on the readings and on my guiding question of becoming more human in my practice. I begin to question why I was the way I was, how I’ve developed, and the power of policy and practice to one’s way of being. I conclude this blog post with my big aha after last week’s class on influence of the economy and societal values of “what is normal” and “what is desirable.” It was definitely called to question during class.
January 19, 2023 – I am wondering if SCAN is my first step in the Spirals of Inquiry for my self-study and inquiry. I think it’s almost a combination of a HUNCH and scan as I attempt to narrow my inquiry with FOCUS. I’m going to use this blog post to flesh out some of my ideas so far and where I am heading in my inquiry with both EDUC 405 and EDUC 633, two courses I’m teaching this term.
In a previous blog post, I declared my inquiry question: What does it mean to be human as an educator? At first glance, this question seems counterintuitive. Why wouldn’t you be “human” in a human-oriented organization or system (i.e., schools, higher education, research, etc.)? I have a huge interest in human behaviour, but for many years in my practice I felt detached from the human experience.
Let me unpack this feeling of detachment, schools, and teaching/learning. As a child, I had always felt that school was utilitarian. It was not my most favourite places to go (unlike my older sister) and I had a twin brother who as naturally brilliant (i.e., usually top 5 students in our grade and grad class), I always felt “in the shadow” to my siblings and I was an average or above average student.
I was not one to win academic awards, nor to I expect them or even try. I was always in search for something that resonated with me and my strengths. I had no idea what I was good at, but I know that I really disliked reading, reading aloud, and reading in general. As you are reading, READING was not my jam and school and achievement is highly dependent on reading for academic performance.
I wonder about the role of culture and my feelings towards school. I am a second-generation Chinese Canadian woman. My parents (and older sister) immigrated to Canada in the last 1960’s and eventually landed in Prince Rupert, BC where my brother and I were born and raised. I understood the importance of school and perceived high stakes for post-secondary education, career, and livelihood.
Now looking back, I can see the influence my parents had being immigrants to Canada and looking for a better life, the era of being assimilated, and the perceived pressure of doing as well as my siblings in schools. It as important to succeed and I looked up to my siblings, so much so that I learned early to look outside for approval and validation versus looking inside for self-belonging.
Admittedly, I did not expect this blog post to take the direction it did and it appears that I am still in the SCAN with respect to wondering about my inquiry question and looking at the reasons why “becoming more human” as an educator is important for me, why it is so scary for me to consider and implement, and why this humanness is important to students, the learning experiences, and myself.
The irony does not escape me. I hate reading and I’m an academic. Let me be vulnerable and META shall we say by being “human” in my approach with my inquiry. Part of being human is being vulnerable. To compliment vulnerability is compassion, kindness, and self-respect. I have nothing to hide and I’m curious about how Human Development can inform part of my inquiry and self-study.
Happy New Year and Hello 2023. After exercising deliberate rest during winter break, coming back to work and the new year can only bring welcomed surprises. Last term as been one of the best I’ve had teaching in higher education. My role changed, thus my approach to teaching and my work shifted and transformed.
I feel so lucky to transition into a new way of being. Change is always scary at first and sometimes the lesson is more about letting go and embracing what’s next. Last year, my #OneWord2022 was COMMIT. When I chose that one-word, my intention was primarily focused on work. I wanted to “commit” to research.
For years after leaving K-12 teaching, I spent much of my time finding myself, sprinkling ideas here and there, and trying different things in education. I thought if I could “commit” to research, I could further advance in my career in higher education. I published papers, worked on research projects, and got coaching.
I’m realizing that my big lofty intentions will take time and patience. Shifting my job also helped, but I was also committed to creating a life here in Prince George with my daughter. Living with her has been going very well so far. What I did learn is, by the end of the year what I was really committing to was myself. Humbled.
So, you may have an intention at first when choosing one-word, but over time it can manifest different outcomes that are unexpected and in my case, wonderful. I’ve been practicing One-Word for about 10-years. I do like it much more than New Year’s Resolutions and I can always lean on my word for solace and insight.
My #OneWord2023 is READ. It’s not just about reading articles and books, which can lend to my personal and professional learning. But I am also thinking about reading the room, reading human behaviour, and reading my feelings and intuition. I’m not sure how READ will unravel in 2023, but I’m open to how it will manifest.
Crocs in the snow. This image clearly represents who I am and my winter holiday.
Spirals of Inquiry as a Self-Study
One of the things that I love to do as an educator is finding ways in which I can BE THE LEARNER. It’s more than just learning the content in preparation for a lesson. I enjoy trying out new ideas such as designing summative and formative assignments that are meaningful and purposeful. In my master’s course that I’m teaching, I imagined the intersection between the Spirals of Inquiry with self-study within the limitations of the practice and context is the course content. I often wonder new applications of currently known initiatives and trying it out.
It’s been a few years since I started contributing to this blog and portfolio, but I am motivated to get it updated and complete it to it’s entirety so that my work can also serve as an exemplar for my students in teacher education and graduate studies. It’s also nice returning to WordPress on my laptop. My other personal WordPress site I can only access it from my phone or iPad. I love that site so much, it’s hard for me to let go of. I am also maintaining my #pandemicreflections, a weekly blog I have committed to since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.
I think that I will share the Spirals of Inquiry (2017) with my EDUC 405 class as a framework for their inquiry in Teacher Education. They can use the framework for several iterations over the course of the program. There are 12-months remaining. I’ll use the framework too to see if I enjoy it as a framework for a self-study. That’s what I had introduced to my EDUC 633 class. I am wholehearted and committed to personalized learning. The learning has to be meaningful to the learner. It’s not about compliance, fear, or grade acquisition. It’s about broadening the self and deepening one’s understanding driven by one’s curiosity, wonder, and pure joy.
I am writing this blog post to introduce my 2023 Inquiry Question. I thought about this question over the winter break. I was sick soon after the term ended. I spent many days just trying to get better. It took some time. Then, I just had to rest. I called it “deliberate rest.” I went out of my way to rest. I did not travel anywhere. I did not visit to many people. I did not do work. I spent my time cleaning, sleeping, and watching Hallmark movies. That’s it. I felt more human over time. I was happy. People made note of my changed disposition and I had time to take care of myself.
Admittedly, I never felt better. I started walking again, drinking water, and eating better. I lost 10 pounds during the break. I needed to rest despite all of the work I have to and want to do. Now I’m back at work. It’s been a steep start to the term. That was a decision I made with deliberate rest. The natural consequence is going 100% on my return. I don’t know why I expect that from myself, but I have done so for decades in this career. It’s not healthy or wise. For a couple of nights, I went to bed at 430am because I was busy trying to get things done and prep for teaching.
Today was horrible. I mean, nothing dramatic but it was definitely noticeable. I’m tired. I’m reactive. I’m not as adaptable. And, I just fell of the health-wagon. No water. No lunch. A coffee in the morning and 8 dumplings for dinner. OK… and some veggie sticks during a Zoom meeting. It was a full day of teaching and I taught online last night. I stayed up late to prep and it was not fully thought out. What I’m saying is… maybe not horrible, but it could have been better. Much better. I’ve noticed that work stress leads to poor life habits and I feel awful.
My Inquiry Question: What does it mean to be human when I am an educator?
I thought of this question during the winter break and today was an excellent example of how not to be and how most of my life was lived as a professional. It’s not healthy mentally, socially, or physically. I can be a better person and I deserve it. Even as we speak, I should be sleeping and not blogging. It’s 12:18am. I’m tired but oddly driven to get this done before tomorrow’s (aka. today’s) class. What is this drive about and how can be a HUMAN in my practice and way of being. I will continue blogging and proceed through the 6-steps of the Spirals of Inquiry.
My headspace is already engaged in the first step of the inquiry, SCANNING, but I need to go to bed. Shall I call this “deliberate sleep”? TBD. In the meantime, I look forward to this inquiry and where it will lead me this term and how it will iterate overtime. We will engage in the Spirals of Inquiry a few times during the year for the Teacher Candidates, and one cycle with my graduate students this term. The Spirals of Inquiry offers a viable framework to be curious about teaching and learning, but also engage in action research that is meaningful and purposeful.
When you are a teacher, you have to be willing to be a LEARNER. One would have to be vulnerable, curious, and resilient. You would also have to have a clear vision, purpose, and efficacy to forge forward and delve into what is possible. The EGO has to step aside and make way, otherwise FEAR will overwhelm you. I felt that way when I was first assigned EDUC 431 – EdTech in Teacher Education. I blog. I maintain a website. I am on Twitter and use it professional learning… but I do not claim to be an EdTech teacher. Over the summer, I was blessed with the serendipitous opportunity to be a guest speaker for Dr. Valerie Irvine’s class at UVIC. She contacted me and asked if I would on DM via Twitter. I said, “of course I would,” but wondered why she would be asking ME to guest speak to her EdTech class. She said, “because you are a regular teacher using EdTech as professional learning.” This is true. I had a great time speaking with her class via video conferencing and I was in very good company, with people other EdTech gurus like Alec Couros, Jesse Miller, and Ian Landy. It was also an opportunity to get to know Valerie and her passion and expertise as a Professor in EdTech at UVIC. Nonetheless, I was inspired by what Valerie did with her intro graduate EdTech course and wondered if I could do that with EDUC 431 at #UNBCED.
I am not an EdTech expert, per se… but I am willing to try and imagine what a learning experience in EdTech with me as the instructor could look like. I am very grateful to Valerie with her willingness to play and try something new. She is a great mentor and she is very generous with her time and knowledge. So, I started to ask people in my PLN (professional learning network) to see if they were willing to participate and share what they knew about EdTech with my EDUC 431 class. I have no budget. I’m not flying anyone in. I just asked if they were willing to share and speak to my students. Not one person said no. (Wow… that was a double negative… let me rephrase that). EVERYONE SAID YES!!! This is the “true educator.” No fear. Passionate. Willing to share and wants to share. The time it would take to prep for my class and then speak to my class OVERWHELMS and HEARTENS ME. I gave out little gifts to each of our speakers because that’s the least I could do. I have so much gratitude for each of my colleagues who stepped up and stepped in. I became the learner and facilitator. I was designing the course. I will assess and evaluate student learning. But it was my colleagues who shared their wealth of knowledge and expertise to my students (aka. soon to be teachers). What I had hoped for was for my students to learn a little bit more about EdTech and how it supports student learning, sample some EdTech tools, and create a digital footprint. In the end, we got so much more out of this course than EdTech.
We walked away with a few big ideas from EdTech. (1) Use EdTech with a PURPOSE. If you can accomplish the same thing without using technology, don’t use technology. (2) Do not be consume… but CREATE. Use technology so that students can create versus consume. Write stories. Connect with others globally. To find one’s voice. (3) Technology makes learning ACCESSIBLE. Technology can be inclusive for students to demonstrate their learning, but also accessible to those who may need additional support with reading or writing… or is unable to attend class and learn face-to-face. I really appreciated these three big ideas about EdTech and how EVERYONE who was invited to speak said very similar things… which tells me, THIS IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW. We also discussed FOIPPA, privacy of students, and where data is kept on appropriate servers. We talked about digital citizenship and digital literacy… but in fact, we were living it. Many of the students, if not most, did not have a digital footprint prior to this course. One of my core beliefs, but also found in my research is, you cannot teach what you have not learned or experienced. So, part of this course was to develop their own e-Portfolio that show exemplars Professional Standards of BC Teachers, expresses their voice and values as a teaching professional, and personalizes and depicts their learning journey in Teacher Education. We also used Twitter.
I think the BIGGEST take-away for me had NOTHING to do with EdTech… but it was the week to week experience of watching and collaborating with an EXPERT TEACHER who is passionate about what they do. That was amazing to me. One example after another, students in EDUC 431 had the opportunity to observe and interact with teachers from all over BC to engage and talk about EdTech in K-12. You can’t get that from anywhere!!! What a gift. I felt that it was a gift and that was the first time that I’ve experienced that degree of professional learning. One can only get excited about EdTech because each of these educators were excited about EdTech and their perspective on EdTech with respect to teaching and learning. It was INCREDIBLE to say the least. My second take-away, which is reminiscent of the book (as seen above), “The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do,” is that you need to accept HELP FROM OTHERS. I am so blessed to have an AMAZING PLN. I may have mentioned that already. Each person was so supportive and caring. I just loved that EDUC 431 was an opportunity for me to deepen my relationships with these people that extended beyond Twitter and for some, was face-to-face. For example, one of our presenters drove 4-hours to Prince George TWICE to share her love for EdTech with my students. I was extremely humbled. Finally, my third take-away was my students’ learning. They had to figure out what would work for them or not as future practitioners. Some really flew with what was being presented but also what they are doing on Twitter and e-Portfolios. I kinda want to say they have EXCEEDED my expectations, but I will say I am HAPPY that they found the “goods internal” to the practice of EdTech. That’s the ultimate win!!!
I want to give a HUGE thanks to Grant Potter at the University who provided much tech support the beginning and throughout this course. I could not have done this course without him and his expertise with WordPress and OpenETC. I want to thank all of my guest speakers (see list below). I know this is only scraping the surface of EdTech. What an amazing field and tool that supports and enhances student learning and student learning experiences. Thank you EDUC 431 students for coming on this ride with me. You have been incredible throughout this course, with the ups and downs of tech issues, but also with what you have learned in this course to personalize your learning and find relevance to your teaching practice. And my last comment is this… why am I writing this blog? I wanted to experience what my students were experiencing. Although I did design the learning experience, took on the role as facilitator versus instructor, and created the course framework, I wanted to engage in what the students were doing and expected to do. I wanted to model learning. And, my e-Portfolio is still in progress, but I will complete this e-Portfolio at the same time as this teacher education cohort. Here’s to EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING at it’s finest. Yay for learning!!!
THANK YOU… to the following EdTech educators who shared their expertise:
Thank you Kristina Tzetzos from @Spinndle for joining my #EDUC431 #EdTech class at #UNBCed. It’s so great to listen to someone who is passionate about Assessment AS Learning and student voice, who has been a K-12 Educator in the BC School System, and become an EDUpreneur with your platform of Spinndle. It takes a lot of courage to step aside and develop an online platform for students to use and unpack student self-assessment into 5 categories: monitoring, tracking, collecting, reflecting, and assessing. You really got us thinking about our assumptions and I appreciated how you carved out the time in your presentation for us to discuss in small groups our thoughts on assessment and how students can be metacognitive with their thinking, sense-make, and have voice.
Thank you for giving our Teacher Candidates and opportunity to use Spinndle as a learner to PLAY and figure out the use and potential of Spinndle as a tool for Assessment As Learning. Although we did experience some technical difficulties (which we normally do in our EdTech class… sadly… but it’s a reality), we could really see how a student could monitor, track, collect, reflect, and assess their learning using Spinndle. You were articulate with your thinking about assessment and why it’s important for learners to embrace, empower, and own their learning and learning experiences. I really appreciated how you talked about your learning journey as a teacher candidate, teacher, and EDUpreneur. I was reminded why we are in the “business of education”… to support and nurture student learning.
From Spinndle, I’ve learned that two of my teacher candidates LEARNED HOW TO CURL as part of their professional learning experience during the Provincial Professional Development Day (something that is near and dear to my heart), and that the platform is can be personalized to the student’s learning experience that can be based on an inquiry based learning framework. I love how Spinndle nicely ties into BC’s Curriculum but also as a vehicle for students to reflect and self-assess the Core Competencies as an ongoing practice where growth and development can be seen over time. Finally, I loved how META Kristina was with her presentation and she reveals how she planned for her guest speaking session with a LESSON PLAN and discusses how she plans and designs learning. Kristina concludes by inviting my students to create a lesson plan that incorporates one of the 5 areas mentioned above for practicum. Now that is full circle!!!
