Category: Uncategorised (Page 8 of 11)

I’ve decided to return back to my original modality of blogging which is writing when I’m inspired. Thunder is roaring in the background. We almost lost power (and my kid just informed me that the power went out just down the street). The lightning is fierce and metaphorically and serendipitously, it’s time to write.

I started blogging more than 10-years ago as a means to improve my writing skills. Admittedly, English as a subject area has not been my strongest and I am very self-conscious of my reading skills and writing skills. It’s hard to believe that I have completed a dissertation for my doctorate degree, but I had to learn how to write.

Hmm… What a wonderful story to return back to. I was so fearful to show this “stretch” to others that I had only “exposed” my writing skills to those I trusted. Due to my lack of trust in myself and my skills, it was really difficult to ask for help. I feel blessed to have a MEd classmate and colleague who was willing to help me.

It was blood, sweat, and tears. English is my first language, but I did not realize the impact of English as a second dialect. I had to learn how to write. I had to learn about ideas like parallelism. All that I remember from high school English were run-on sentences and fragments. “Read your paper out loud to edit your paper.”

Honestly, that advice did not help me. I tried, but it sounded ok to me. Even in first year university I took a “how to pass the ECT” continuing education course to learn “how to do English.” Remembering and sharing this information about me is humbling and yet I am reminded of the importance of asking for help and learning.

Learning is not easy. It’s not suppose to be in some ways. The more work invested, at least for me, equated to the worthwhileness of the learning. I became a high school math and science teacher for a reason and most of my career was in math. When I could see the connection between math and English, magic happened.

The writing process helps me to think out ideas to sense-make what is ruminating in my mind. I appreciate the writing process (as well as doodling) to create or sort out ideas. So, in this blog post, I am realizing that it’s time for change. Ask for help. And lean on and listen to critical friends who hold space for you. I feel very lucky.

I know that I was counting weeks, like I did during my #pandemicreflections on my previous website and this one. The blog series was for 164 weeks (even though I cheated a bit at the very end by combining 4 blog posts into one). Of course it’s ok to bend the rules from time to time and maintaining a weekly blog works for my rate of pace for reflection and writing. That said, I do have these moments when I feel inspired to reflect. The writing process helps me to sense-make and wonder.

What I have been fascinated by the blogging process is that often what I had intended to write would re-navigate into something else. I was reminded of that notion when I had a meeting this morning with a graduate student and listening to them about the pages they have made for their portfolio as a capstone for their program. It’s been an amazing journey working with them. I love being a coach to help them to reflect, self-actualize, and synthesize their learning and what’s next.

I am reflecting on the value of numbering off my blog posts after concluding my pandemic reflection series. That series was a source of entertainment for me thinking that it would conclude after 10-weeks or so. The pandemic did not “end” for another 150 weeks and it ended up being a weekly blog post reflection about what’s important to me. I was experiencing many life changes and the pandemic offered an opportunity to pause and reflect on the meaning of life and its so what.

Although I have opted to restart a new weekly blog series and numbering off each week, I have not determined the intended end date. I have ended my #patiopic from Twitter today. Again, this daily Twitter post was a source of entertainment for me and I was mildly surprised to learn that folks were following it on their Twitter feed. The kind words and surprise comments that they know me from my daily #patiopic, was heartwarming and I’m pleased that others recognize its joy.

I’m at a place right now where I feel that I need to reassess what I am really doing. Over and over again, I am reminded that I need to think about what’s best for me. It startles me each time someone brings that to my attention because I have been so oriented on the idea of serving others and not prioritizing my needs or values. I wanted this weekly blog series to be about GRATITUDE but I’m realizing its more than being appreciated for what I have, but it can also include where I want to be.

Part of my why is focused on empowering, enabling, and helping others, but in doing so, I’m not empowering, enabling, or helping myself. I put my needs aside. I am reminded by the lessons my mom has been trying to share with me, even to her last days of life. I was talking about her with one of my high school friends during my trip to Victoria, BC. She asked me what the lesson was. It’s understanding my value. My ideas and thinking are different, but it does not make me less than.

Stepping away from things to invite other things in to my life is what I am learning to do. I can only speak my truth and sometimes that might be feel isolating and lonely. What I do know is, I have folks who have my back and find solace in that. I might continue my blogging experience but maybe it’s not going to be numbered off. It might just go back to my original framework of BEING INSPIRED or maybe it might be about the new journey I am about to embark on. Either way, it’s all good.

Week 9 – July 17, 2023 – Centering Myself

I just got back home from an amazing conference in Victoria, BC. It was WFATE – The World Federation of Associations of Teacher Education Conference at UVic. I drove to Victoria with one of my writing partners, Melanie, who thank goodness drove more than half her share and was there to support me in many ways. I feel very lucky to collaborating and working with Melanie. She is a former teacher candidate (now teacher) and we are writing a program evaluation about our experience presenting at BCTEN (BC Teacher Education Network) in 2021.

We presented this work at a Round Table session at Congress 2023 in May at York University and presented our work as a Poster Presentation at WFATE. We have been working collaboratively for the last couple of years (as the “check”) in this reflective process and we are making excellent progress. We hope to submit a proposal for a Paper Presentation at AERA (American Education Research Association) for the 2024 conference in Philadelphia. I am appreciating the progression of this learning/research process and what we are learning together.

I also had the chance to present with two of my colleagues, Dr. David Litz and Glen Thielmann (PhD Candidate) on work that is led by Dr. Hart Banack with adjunct professor Dr. Alex Lautensach. We work with a GRA (graduate research assistant) and have been working actively on a project called “Climate Education in Teacher Education” (CETE) over the last year and have established some seed funding to support this work. We presented a Workshop Presentation at WFATE using the Selma Wasserman’s “Play, Debrief, Replay” framework for small group discussion.

The three of us co-presented well by taking parts of the presentation to introduce the project and engage small groups to talk about climate action, climate change education, and what they could do in their current work to implement change. The engagement was very good and interest from those who participated in the workshop. It was also good to work with David and Glen in person. Most times we are meeting on Zoom for our project so it was nice to work together at WFATE.

I was invited by Dr. Kathy Sanford to participate in the “fishbowl” activity called “COLLABORATE: Exploring Teacher Education Through Collaborations.” It was an honour to be one of seven people from the conference and BC Education to be in the “inner circle” of the activity. I also had the opportunity to reconnect with my good friend Brad Baker, the Associate Superintendent of Indigenous Education. I love talking to him and the straight-talk we have about BC Education. He was also very affirming of my findings in the program evaluation Poster Presentation.

In the fish bowl activity, I followed him. Speaking to the “outer circle” was optional and voluntary in terms of speaking order. I spoke about the collaborations with “in situ” learning at Harwin Elementary for EDUC 391 (Experiential Practicum) and EDUC 421 (Assessment and Motivation). I also mentioned EDUC 405 (Reflective Practice and Inquiry Through Portfolios) as part of this work and serendipitous collaboration with the teaching staff, administration, IEWs (Indigenous Education Workers), CUPE members, and the students. We were all teaching and learning together to achieve a common goal. Harwin this year is a highlight of my career.

My fourth presentation at WFATE was a Paper Presentation talking about the program’s signature pedagogy People, Place, and Land. Susan Johnston was unable to join us due to illness, but Glen and I presented this program evaluation. We spoke about how the signature pedagogy was developed during the redesign of the B.Ed. Program and how each of us as faculty members have interpreted the signature pedagogy into our practice. We provided three vignettes to represent each emphasis of People, Place, and Land and suggested that we are still figuring it out, with the disclaimer that the signature pedagogy can have depth and breadth.

During our presentation, I spoke about LAND and our learning experience at West Lake Provincial Park. I described the significance of this place and learning with and from each other in small groups, but emphasized learning from the land and about the land. I even provided an example of one student’s experience. I could feel the audience pause for a moment, but the next presenter took that example and used it in context to their paper presentation. I thought it was so amazing. I loved the person’s work, but also loved that they were able to make connections to our presentation to her presentation. I am going to follow up with her, for sure.

WFATE was a four day conference for me. I attended the pre-conference and met some amazing people from around the world and across the country. I attended 5 sessions on the first day of WFATE and loved every session. I was so engaged and found the content relevant and inspiring. And then four presentations in last two-days with some learning on the last day. My cup is full. It’s so wonderful to reunite with many wonderful people who are in teacher education, but also meet people who have similar mindsets. I feel humbled and happy to make these connections.

After each day of the conference, I was able to socialize and make connections outside of the conference. One day I met up with a childhood friend from elementary school who is also a BC Educator in teacher education. I met up with another childhood friend from high school. Talking with her was like no time had passed even though it was about a decade since we last chatted. Another night I went out with folks from BCTEN and their friends, and the last night with a colleague and friend who lives in Victoria. I could not meet everybody and I did not expect new connections to ask me to go out (and they did). It was too much fun.

I had an excellent time at WFATE 2023. I am so grateful for all of the kind words and complements on my work and I loved learning from others. I have met new people to make future collaborations and I have made some new friends (one of which walked around downtown Victoria with me after dinner). It was a good feeling to connect with everyone at WFATE. It felt familiar and I appreciated the wholehearted and authentic relationships I had encountered. This was my place. Favourite memories are those folks who approached me and Melanie about our poster and giving compliments for the framework, findings, and conclusion.

I loved laughing with folks from UNB (University of New Brunswick) and folks from international programs. I learned a lot from these connections and I was so grateful as to how friendly and kind everyone was. Thank you to the volunteers and conference organizers. I am anticipating WFATE 2025. Thank you for this wonderful learning experience. My eyes are open and ready for more. 🙂

Week 8 – July 8, 2023 – All Making Sense

Double 8. Must be a lucky day. Look at these two. What a wonderful surprise to see them yesterday at the bookstore. They are a couple of former students who took a couple of my classes last year. I adored having these two in my classes. They made the learning experience more rich despite the fact the classes were online. I also learned that they recently wrote their comprehensive exam and they have completed their MEd degrees. Incredible news. I loved seeing these two in person.

I then met up with another former student. We developed a relationship from the BEd program and we stayed in touch. I enjoy talking with them and I appreciate the personal work they are engaged in. I can relate to that person’s journey and we have some intersections that make sense-making viable and productive. During our conversation, I was sharing a metaphor of how I perceived part of my life and about letting go. It was the first time I said (out loud), “I was afraid to walk alone.”

Saying that out loud was such an aha that I did not acknowledge. Then I said, when you do embark whatever it is alone, you realize that others are walking beside you. Now, looking back, I see that. I was reminded of the importance of teaching for me and the reciprocity that’s created in those relationships. Now, I am reading a book on Participatory Action Research (that I have procrastinated) that is pulling on my heartstrings. I can see why I was avoiding this book. The contents are my passion.

I am brought to a conversation I had with one of my mentors last week. Do what you are passionate about. That’s what’s going to sustain my work. I can see that. I appreciate the collaborations I have right now with research and I am incredibly grateful to those who will share truth with me and who can see my potential and work. I think that’s what matters and what I need to do is to keep doing what I am doing and keep learning to get better at what I am doing. I think I can do this!!!

Is “research efficacy” a thing? I have no idea, but I am mustering the inner strength to do so. I cannot believe how much inside work I had to ensure (and will likely continue to do this inner work) to get to where I am today. The unpacking continues and in the end, the belief and confidence are in myself, and belonging is with myself. This inner understanding is being “selfish” in the negative connotation but it’s more about self compassion and “standing tall” in the work that I do.

It’s all starting to make sense. Finally. It feels great. Admittedly, I had 2-days of blah, but sometimes I think that you have to take a pause to clear the mind, reflect, and wonder. For me, the quiet time helps me to realize what I do enjoy and love. I’ve been so focused on REST, I am ready to jump in with two-feet. These themes keep iterating with me, but I think this is the first time I really feel it versus just wanting or dreaming about it. This moment is a moment of clarity. Feels great!!

Here’s an extra blog post. I’ve been sick for the last 10-days or so and I’m not yet 100%, but I’m working on it. I have not left home, really, and I’ve been playing the fridge/freezer game as well. I love playing the game. I forces you to be creative with what you have (but also throw out all of the food that’s rotten or expired). Although I’ve been sick, it’s been a good way to slow down and recalibrate.

I had the hankering to blog again. I used to blog when I was inspired or wanted to, but the weekly created a good framework during the #pandemicreflections. That blog series got ridiculous when I thought it would be a dozen blogs, not 160. Now I’m thinking what the weekly tally is for? My last blog series ended when I came back from Italy. Maybe, this new blog series will end when I go back to Italy.

My friends and I were just chatting on FB Messenger with hopes and dreams for our “Turin 2025” trip and fantasies about co-owning a place in Verona. Ahhh… Dare to dream. Looking at properties in Italy together was so much better than my nightly scroll through MLS Prince George. It was so dreamy. It never hurts to have goals, but I’m also open to travel and going to places to learn and meet people.

This long weekend had been an excellent time to be grateful. First, I am very grateful for my health and I am determined not to take it for granted. Being sick has not been a great experience. I didn’t even bother testing if I had COVID. Based on Google, I had COVID and I have no idea where and when I got it. You cannot put your guard down. Oddly, being sick forced me to slow down and prioritize my time.

Second, I am grateful for my life. I have a place to live, I live with my kid, and I have a job I enjoy. I am always learning. It’s been a journey to get where I am today. I am often humbled and grateful for my friends and family for being there me. I feel that the journey is about feeling and being happy. I’m not sure what that exactly means, but I’m enjoying the path that I’m on now. The messiness was somehow worth it.

Finally, I am grateful for meandering through life. I am a bit slow, but I am ok with that. SLOW is not a bad thing. It’s my pace. I am learning about what brings me joy. I feel so thankful to my mentors. They are helping me to navigate the academia world and to figure out my research program. Whatever I am engaged in should be my passion and to focus on the process, not the outcome. Rejection is common.

I live a privileged life. I am so grateful to my parents who immigrated into Canada from Hong Kong. Although I am coming to terms with my ethnic identity as a second-generation Chinese Canadian and would like to learn more about my heritage as I embark on writing about book about my mom, I am so grateful for the sacrifices they have made to me and my siblings so that we can life a good life.

I miss my mom greatly and one of the things she said while I was taking care of her during her last 20-days was, “I’m missing out on my golden years.” My mom was 80. During the 20-days, I watched the 5-stages of grief with my mother. She was an amazing woman. You can’t play it safe all of the time and taking risks is part of the journey. My mom was a powerful person. She was a hard worker. I miss her much.

I’m guessing why I am brought to this blog post is to realize that maybe my mom and my journey into book writing will be part of blogging as well as developing my research program. Because I’m not tenure-track, I am really working at my own pace and my research is really just for me, which I would in turn share with others. This aha brings me a lot of solace. I am finally where I want to be. I am grateful.

Week 7 – July 1, 2023 – A New Perspective

Hello to a new month. It’s July 1st and I am reminding myself that this new blog series is about GRATITUDE. When I started blogging years ago, it was with the intention of practicing how to write, expressing my feelings, and a way to navigate life. It was “My Pedagogical Journey.” I left teaching at that time and life got messy. I wondered if it would have been better to stay the course, but I was so unhappy.

In my meanderings to figure things out, I became a school trustee, finished my doctorate, and returned to teaching in higher education. Of course, there were many details in between, but that’s the Cole’s notes of my career since teaching in K-12. Joining the university has been a bit messy as well. Too many details to mention, but then my blog evolved into “Pandemic Reflections” during Covid19.

Apparently, the pandemic has ended but ironically I sit in my LazyBoy chair writing the blog post on a week’s long recovery from COVID-19 (I believe). It’s been awful, but I managed to continue to work and meet online. You’ve got to love technology. I’ve had some wonderful meetings with folks who mentor, collaborate, and meet. Anyway, I’m left with the lingering message of “It’s a process.” For this, I’m grateful.

I feel that the meandering has minimized in the macro and I’m starting to meander in the micro. My pandemic reflections spent most of my time wondering about what’s important to me. I think that I’m closer to that then I have ever been and I feel closer to myself than I ever have. It feels good. I am trying to turn “the ship” around and make choices that are more aligned to who I am and what I love to do.

This week as a first week for me to focus on my research (and not teaching). Time spent was taken with intentionality and deliberate action. I’m learning how to do make these decisions for myself. I cannot not be everywhere all at once and I have nothing to prove. I’m very grateful to return back to teaching since my experience in K-12 and what I am learning to do is to be an academic and do some research.

Research is an integral part of any professor’s work, but I’m term faculty, so my primary obligation is teaching and service. Research is not expected in my current position, but I am learning at my own pace as to what research looks like for me and what my research program will look like. It’s evolving and I am learning how to be patient (with myself and the process). I am grateful to those who mentor me.

I met with a mentor this week and I cannot believe how valuable it has been to have a conversation with this person. Generous, kind, and compassionate. Just a few words describe this person. I appreciate the honesty, encouragement, and articulation of how things are going or how things should be. It’s incredible. The conversation changed my perspective. I can see that THIS WILL BE A PROCESS.

From lofty targets and goals to next steps and realizing the worthwhileness of the learning process makes this new way of being more reasonable and doable. I know that there has been many people guiding me (and others challenging me in ways that question my values and beliefs). It takes time to hear what you need to hear. This week, I can see what I need to do to move forward and I’m excited to do so.

Week 6 – June 24, 2023 – Reassessing Goals

Oh boy… this week as a doozy, but I think I’ve landed on my feet (for now). Nothing spectacular, but it was the moment when I what I have known intuitively and then cognitively reached my heart. It’s like hitting the bottom. I had a few tears. It’s ok. People were telling me the truth over time and others are lending a helping hand. To those people, thank you. I know that you are looking for me and have my best interest at heart. I am so grateful to you all. I don’t know why it has taken me this long to realize the truth. I guess I wanted something so bad that’s not meant to be.

Anyway, what I’ve also learned is, when you hit the bottom, all you have is to go up. I don’t want to seem like a softy or weak. I guess my “bubble way of being” can be too idealistic and dreamy. People tap on my bubble and at one time I let too many people into my bubble. At one time, I gave up my bubble to make into something else that wasn’t me. I lost myself. I had to make decisions that were disruptive and traumatizing in many ways to save myself. I’ve spent the last few years rebuilding my bubble and it’s often put to the test. Last week was a moment and affirming.

Now, I’m bouncing back and understanding my few freedom and autonomy. I can make choices and I don’t have to be chasing what other people are chasing. What I need to focus on (again) is what’s important to me. This might be the second or third iteration of my #pedagogicaljourney. I spent my entire #pandemicreflections (most found on my other website/blog) on figuring out what’s important to me. This time, I’m looking at bit closer. I need to listen to myself and do what’s right. i am asking for help. I am grateful for the generosity of others and their guidance.

The week ended with the department retreat and we spent the day on the land. The day unfolded exactly as it should and I had moments to reflect on and loved lots of what the elders, educators, and teacher candidates had to share. I should not forget the land. In moments of uncertainty and despair, I always to to the water for some solace. I did this as kid in Prince Rupert, as a young adult on the Sunshine Coast, and now where I am… in Prince George. Today, I go to the river. The water speaks to me in ways that is soothing, calming, and soul-nourishing.

The day ended at the park with a guest speaker who spoke about her sister, health-care, and CONSCIOUS DISRUPTION. The story involved the idea of taking a situation or belief, hold it, and disrupt it. In doing so, you had lift the learner. Oh my gosh. The story spoke to my spirit. It was something that I was hoping to hear at the retreat as an educator, but it was also a message for me and my soul. I needed to hear this message and experience this day the way it was. I return back to understanding my value, stand in my values, and continue to work in my values.

The week started with tears, but ended with solace, sunshine, and a smile. 🙂

Week 5 – June 18, 2023 – The Seasons

Look at this photo. How gorgeous is this image? I just love it for so many reasons. We are planning for the next two years using Leona Prince’s seasonal rounds as a framework. We were moving around in a circle near the trees thinking about each season, what we do in Koh Learning, and what do we want to see or do next. I really enjoyed this activity and I am going to take this planning activity into my practice.

This photo is a beautiful metaphor of what is. The seasons are changing. I can’t wait. EDUC 490 practicum ended a week ago and I’ve just finished writing the reports. I only have a few signatures to acquire and I can move onto the next part of my work… reading, writing, and research. I want to be learning. I feel privileged to be in a position to learn. That’s all I want to do… and then, write about it. 🙂

Admittedly, it’s been a messy transition into the third season of my life, but I am so grateful to be here. I am learning more about myself and staying true to myself. I’ve encountered several conversations with folks I hold in high regard and trust. They are truth-tellers and they affirm some held beliefs that I wished were not true, but they are also telling me that what I am doing is right and stay the course.

Life, whether it be personal or professional, is never meant to be easy, but it’s what you do with life’s challenges is what matters. I am learning to trust myself. I’ve been faced with a few challenges and I am realizing what I am capable of and what I truly value. I go back to MY WHY and I am encouraged to keep moving forward and to have my voice despite the setbacks, rejections, or perceived negativity.

I am always learning. I am learning more about myself. And, I am learning how to slow down. I can get overwhelmed, but what I am understanding is, it’s one step at a time. Get back up and try again. I can do this. Be patient and kind with yourself. Imagine. Believe. Inspire. Be inspired. l can only be myself. That’s it. No one else. I create my path and I need to listen to myself to stay happy and joyful. Just be me.

Week 4 – June 12, 2023 – Being Present

It feels good to catch up. I feel rested and present. I needed time to gather myself and I have not quite felt 100% since returning from Italy. Returning to work and the last 6-weeks past by like a whirlwind. I have report to write as well as grants and many, many other things to attend to with respect to my research program, but I am very grateful to feel like I am can a breath, reflect, and blog once again.

I am catching up with my blogging and anticipate to blog in the next handful of days but I’ve been wanted to get to this place of being to consider what I have learned and how I can move forward. I am learning that blogging on weekends when I’m out of town is not possible, so Tuesdays seems like a reasonable day. Look at this photo!!! It’s just gorgeous. I feel very connected to the water.

My friend and I went camping this weekend with UNBC RecOrg. She had a trailer and we have not had many opportunities lately to connect. For me, it was a time to SLOW DOWN (even though I did some work on Saturday). It was a fun event. Apparently, I was the only faculty member attending. That’s OK. I enjoyed meeting new people, grateful to the organizers, and loved the potluck (aka. the brisket).

Practicum has finished last week and I should be writing final reports while catching up with so many things I need to catch up on and things put on hold. One of things I wanted to return back to was my blog. I am left thinking after many conversations and moments with self to reflect on my work, my values, and my life. I can’t afford to not trust myself and stand tall in my position and my location.

I am left with appreciating the little things and celebrating the small victories, like enjoying the sunset, the sound of the rushing water, and playing board games with friends (even though I lost a couple of times and was being eaten by mosquitoes). I appreciate that I have a warm and safe place to live, I love living and being with my kid, and I enjoy the work I do as it contributes to K-12 and teacher education.

I have a lot to be grateful for and I am learning how to be more resilient and dare I say, independent. As I look at myself, I am driven by being in community, to have connections, and to collaborate with others to co-construct good things together. I appreciate all of that, but what I am also learning about is how to appreciate being alone, to feel confident in my work, and to have the strength to move forward.

The message I just shared with a friend and colleague the other day is, when you are rejected or you experienced failure, it’s not the moment to quit or give up. It’s telling you that this is not the right way to go. There’s another door that’s open and you’re job is to find it. I am reminded of this and it’s not to dwell on what could have been or what you want things to be, but other opportunities to consider.

In the meantime, focus on what’s going well. That’s telling you one thing, but also pay attention to what’s not going well. It’s telling you the same story. The goal is to take a few steps back to look at the big picture to navigate next steps. Be clear about your goal. If a rock gets in your way, work around it. Don’t fight it. This is your journey to explore and wonder about. Enjoy. Learn. And, take a deep breath.

Week 3 – June 6, 2023 – So much happened

Welcome back to my weekly blog. I’m a week late and plan to write another one soon after this one. So much has happened since my last blog post and it seems like Tuesdays might be the new day for me to blog and reflect. In my former pandemic reflection blog series, I found myself blogging on Saturdays or Sundays. This pace is a nice change in my way of being, in particular with my blogging and reflections.

What a beautiful picture!!! I just love it. I was on a water taxi on Lake Ontario. It was my first time. I’ve been to Toronto a handful of times but this was the first time I was travelling for work to Congress 2023. This year, the conference was in Toronto at York University. By chance, my brother was also in Toronto for business and I spent the first night visiting with one of my mom’s sisters (aka. my aunt).

I had such a good time hanging out with my twin bro and getting to know my aunt better. It’s difference when I’m not with my family or the child of the bunch. We even had a lunch gathering with some of my cousins, aunt, and uncle. That was fun too. We had a “chicken challenge” between Church’s Chicken and Popeyes. They were distinctively different in taste and texture. Admittedly, I like KFC a bit more.

Thank goodness for my brother. I am learning more about myself in this chapter of my life. It’s clear to me that I am directionless and have no sense of direction. Yes. That means the same thing. Do you see what I mean? LOL. My brother sent me a random text asking me if I’d like him to meet me at the airport. Of course I said yes. I was busy finishing up work and in the middle of practicum. I needed the help.

He met me at the airport and there was NO WAY I was going to find my way out of there without him. Sounds sad. I would have taken the cab. LOL. He also offered to take me to York University via the subway. Yes please!!! Got there. Late. But, it was for the best. I needed to rest. And yes, returning back to residence for a place to stay and save a few dollars was a bit alarming. I was brought back to first year.

I’ve really enjoyed Congress 2023. This was my first CSSE event in person and I felt like it was an opportunity to network, learn new ideas, and present ideas. I presented twice at Congress, once at CATE with a former student in the teacher education program to discuss our ethnic identity and once at OTESSA to share how e-portfolios were implemented in the B.Ed. program redesign at UNBC.

During this conference, I took moments to step out of my comfort zone. First, I presented at this national conference in person. Second, I went to the CATE dinner and took the subway. Luckily, I bumped into a few familiar faces to find my way to the restaurant. Finally, I took the subway again to catch the end of a Blue Jays game. That was super fun. I met some amazing people and learned lots.

As I begin to reflect, I am learning that I’m not alone. I am supported by many people and it’s for me to open the doors (or find the window). I am working at my own pace and I am living my best life. Although I did not mean to speak up during the EDID Town Hall in the way that I did, I feel that it provoked others and ignited or provided voice to marginalized or racialized people that needed to be heard.

A memorable week at Congress 2023, which was in the middle of the 4-week practicum. I am supervising 7 teacher candidates and in the end, no matter how uncertain or muddy the situation was, the teacher candidates were learning a tonne and I am very appreciative of the coaching teachers who supported them. The coaching teachers were so amazing and I am so grateful to work with them.

Again, this new blog series is about gratitude. There are always obstacles but I can overcome. What I am learning is, to believe in myself, to understand what I am doing has purpose and is creating change, and to know that I am able to succeed. I am super happy (overall), I love being with my kid and help her into adulthood, and I am learning. That’s what matters. Sometimes it’s humbling, but I am learning.