I’ve decided to return back to my original modality of blogging which is writing when I’m inspired. Thunder is roaring in the background. We almost lost power (and my kid just informed me that the power went out just down the street). The lightning is fierce and metaphorically and serendipitously, it’s time to write.

I started blogging more than 10-years ago as a means to improve my writing skills. Admittedly, English as a subject area has not been my strongest and I am very self-conscious of my reading skills and writing skills. It’s hard to believe that I have completed a dissertation for my doctorate degree, but I had to learn how to write.

Hmm… What a wonderful story to return back to. I was so fearful to show this “stretch” to others that I had only “exposed” my writing skills to those I trusted. Due to my lack of trust in myself and my skills, it was really difficult to ask for help. I feel blessed to have a MEd classmate and colleague who was willing to help me.

It was blood, sweat, and tears. English is my first language, but I did not realize the impact of English as a second dialect. I had to learn how to write. I had to learn about ideas like parallelism. All that I remember from high school English were run-on sentences and fragments. “Read your paper out loud to edit your paper.”

Honestly, that advice did not help me. I tried, but it sounded ok to me. Even in first year university I took a “how to pass the ECT” continuing education course to learn “how to do English.” Remembering and sharing this information about me is humbling and yet I am reminded of the importance of asking for help and learning.

Learning is not easy. It’s not suppose to be in some ways. The more work invested, at least for me, equated to the worthwhileness of the learning. I became a high school math and science teacher for a reason and most of my career was in math. When I could see the connection between math and English, magic happened.

The writing process helps me to think out ideas to sense-make what is ruminating in my mind. I appreciate the writing process (as well as doodling) to create or sort out ideas. So, in this blog post, I am realizing that it’s time for change. Ask for help. And lean on and listen to critical friends who hold space for you. I feel very lucky.