Category: Uncategorised (Page 1 of 16)

August 20, 2026 – What motivates me?

Gosh… I’m heading into my weekly blog post a bit early. On the one hand, I am feeling inspired. On the other hand, I like to use my blog to not only reflect but also warm-up to the writing process. I am planning to attend an online writing session for a chapter I am co-writing with a colleague from my past-life in K-12. I wrote about this chapter in my last blog post titled, “Going Back In Time.” I really enjoyed writing (by myself) in a breakout room to some writing done. I have done this before during my doctorate degree at SFU but those sessions were in-person. I don’t think I used those writing times as effectively as I had online last week. I also think I was in a different place as a writer and scholar. That said, I’m still learning and expect that’s how it’s going to be in this work… and I LOVE IT!!

I was just looking at my CV components on my WordPress websites and I enjoy looking at progress (re: making edits), but I also love working on my portfolios. It’s clear to me that what I include in my classes are aspects of what I love to do and/or believe in. There is no question why I include Parker Palmer’s work on the identity and integrity of a teacher… and the Heart of a Teacher. I love reading that chapter every year and what makes good teaching: (1) knowledge of the subject matter; (2) knowledge of the students; (3) and knowledge of yourself. I love the idea of understanding yourself… or YOUR BRAND… thus, gaining an understanding of what kind of teacher you are going to be and why it matters.

I am enjoying my time working on the chapter with my colleague/friend because I have a unique opportunity to look at my practice, myself, and the work we collaborated on. I wonder about “am I really changing?” or ” is this who I really am?” As much as I struggled with my identity and who I am for many, many years, I am loving now looking back at myself, even though my mindset was different from who I am today. I recently shared with my colleague/friend about finding my reflective journal from my long practicum experience over 30 years ago, to realize the text sounded just like me… it reflected who I was at the time, which is who I am today. I am left to wonder, do we really change or are we just honing who we really are over time with experiences and age. Who knows?

This year, I was charged with developing and facilitating the department’s annual retreat. It was a last minute decision, so implementation needed to simple, aligned to who I am, and useful to my peers with respect to our work. I framed the day to be on the land at West Lake Provincial Park, I invited my friend to start our day in a good way, and used Simon Sinek’s Start with Why. I loved the process for myself and to prep for the day, I did the work myself… what’s my why? And, I used the idea, as suggested online, to brainstorm the people who were important to you, that you wished to be like, or admired. Then, to think about the qualities of these people, then take these reflections to write your why statement: “To _____, so that _____.” I love that Sinek would say, your why applies to personal and professional… there is no difference. There is just ONE WHY. Here is my why:

“To question and challenge the status quo, so that we can feel empowered and liberated to become the change agents we are meant to be in the service of others.”

This why resonates with me deeply. I’ve had versions of this, but the more I read, the more I do, I feel that my why can be nuanced to best reflect me. Anyway, I love the idea of challenging… which is reflective of Enneagram 8… that is me… and I love the idea of change… which aligns to my love for action research (aka. do something)… with the soul purpose in the service of others. Oh ya… this is my drive… who I am… MY WHY. Anyway, this beautiful process allowed me to create a staff retreat that incorporates the land, community building, and collaboration or co-creation… to develop one’s why and the program’s why. It was an opportunity to connect with one another, but also learn a little about each other. I’m reminded that I need to do something with the information that was generated and to share what was created that day.

Anyway, what brought me to this blog post… LOL… was taking the time this week to prep for the UNBC Teaching and Learning Conference with three teacher candidates for a panel session, and my research team for a workshop. I feel very grateful to be co-presenting with both teams and I feel that both sessions represent who I am… rural teaching and early scholarship. I love working with these people and the work we are accomplishing together. The two images included at the top and end of this blog posts are the title pages of the Canva presentations for each session. We are presenting next week on August 27, 2026 for both sessions, at 1pm and 3pm in Room 10-2522 in Prince George. What I love about both sessions is the involvement of students, in leadership and co-construction of the workshop and their willingness to participate.

So, I guess… what motivates me? STUDENT LEARNING. It’s strange… the CV only serves as the wake of my work, yet serves as a demonstration or evidence of your accomplishments. I find that when I look and work on my CV, I am reminded what I still have to do… LOL… but also, I can pause and take a moment to celebrate what I am doing and what I have done. I am TERRIBLE at endorsing myself and celebrating who I am and why it matters (to others), but I can see the value of the CV in terms of the research and pedagogical narrative I am (intentionally and unintentionally) curating. Anyway, looking at MY WHY with respect to my practice (which was also part of the retreat), part of my why is “to improve the student learning experience,” hence I love student involvement and investment. Here’s my “teaching why” and I am really proud of the work I do. 🙂

“To create safe and collaborative spaces, so that students can engage in exploratory learning environments with curiosity and joy to discover, examine, and develop who they are as learners, educators, and leaders.” 

August 17, 2026 – Co-Writing a Chapter

Yes… I do in-person selfies and Zoom selfies. It’s true!! I do love a good selfie. Here is an image of me and a colleague/friend from more than 20 years ago. We worked together on the Sunshine Coast. At the time, she was the District Aboriginal Education Principal and I was a secondary mathematics teacher. We both had a strong interest in professional development. When I was teaching in K-12 schools, I was often took the role of Professional Development School Representative. I loved working with my colleagues, co-creating with my colleagues, and learning something new about teaching and learning. As I look back, I can can really see that I appreciated professional learning and understand why teacher professional learning is part of my research program.

I am writing this blog post as I am reflecting on the conversations that I am having with my colleague/friend in recent weeks and months. We worked collaboratively together to work on a Math 8 project called, Math Embedded: A Tribute to Susan Point. I have written about this project in 2017, as seen inmy friend/colleague’s website titled “ImaginED.” This guest blog post was titled, “Integrating Indigenous Worldviews Into Secondary Math Teaching: A Tribute to Susan Point.” I also wrote about it for a piece for UNBC during Asian Heritage Month titled, “Learning to Embrace Identity” in 2023. I was also the key note speaker at the 3rd Annual Aboriginal Math K-12 Symposium at UBC in 2013. There were so many other opportunities that came about from the Math 8 project, such as “The Journey of a Lesson,” “Focusing on Competencies in Math” with Open School BC, FNESC Math First Peoples Teachers’ Resource Guide (2020), and curriculum development on BC’s Curriculum for Math K-9.

If anything, this Math 8 project took me on a pedagogical journey about teaching and learning, mathematics and culture, and creating something good for all learners, including myself. My colleague and I co-created and co-taught this Math unit on linear and rotational symmetry in 2009/2010, over 16-years ago, when the Math 8/9 Integrated Resource Package (IRP) was updated in 2008. In this provincial curriculum “Aboriginal Education” in math was introduced. At the time, there were so many things happening in the school: (1) 150-hours for Math 8; (2) got a new SmartBoard for my class from PAC; (3) delving into formative assessment practices; and (4) implementation of the new curriculum. I had no idea what I would do with all of the extra time in Math 8. Admittedly, I was a bit frustrated about the 150 hours for math (as the intervention to improve math achievement as students transitioned from elementary to secondary school).

Not be belabour my angst and anger, serendipitously connecting with my colleague shifted my mindset to a place of learning, excitement, and joy. I was very interested in learning about local Indigenous culture and ways of being, and what it meant to incorporate “Aboriginal Education” in to mathematics. Make note, 2009/2010 was well before the creation of the Truth and Reconciliation Calls to Action (2015) and formation/introduction of BC’s Curriculum (2016). Although the First Peoples Principles of Learning was developed In 2006/2007 with the BC Ministry of Education and FNESC as part of the English 12 First Peoples course (Chrona, 2014), this work was unknown to me as a high school math teacher. Yet, the work done on the Math Embedded project not only led me to professional learning opportunities as mentioned above, but also defined what kind of educator I wanted to be, and believe the educator I am today.

I had the the wonderful opportunity to contribute chapter to a book, alongside with contributors how are current math educators and educational leaders who seek to embedded Indigenous Education into Mathematics (or vice versa). I was honoured and excited to be invited, and I believe it’s the the learning that had come from the Math Embedded project, and it’s lingering effect on my practice, and maybe the impressions made on the editors of the book 13 years ago, that has led to another professional learning opportunity. In past, I would write about the Math Embedded Project from my vantage point, but with this invitation, I extended the invitation to my colleague to co-write this chapter with me. It was amazing to reconnect and we’ve been meeting weekly to share notes and research about the project, the work behind it, and the work that is ahead of it.

I write this blog post with awe and gratitude to look back at who I was as a practitioner, to unpack the math unit and why it mattered, and to figure out how we can once again co-create something like we did 16-years ago. I have been loving our conversations and feel that we are building the same momentum like we did many years ago. I’ve started reflecting on this work, and just listing out a few moments between Math Embedded and my practice today has taken some time to get some of my thoughts out. I am realizing that it will take some immense time to just get my memories and journey on paper, and the task of getting both of our stories woven together into 6000 words or less. It will be a task, but we have taken this road before, and we can do this together again.

August 8, 2026 – My Siblings are Coming to PG

No pressure, right?

My twin bro and big sis are coming to Prince George to visit me and the kid. It’s a nice shift. I would typically head to the Lower Mainland to say hello to my dad and siblings. The travel cost of one versus two or three, makes sense for me to fly to Vancouver. I often have other work to do in the Lower Mainland, but I also have friends to visit, restaurants to go to, and need to connect with the ocean. All is good. It’s refreshing to have my siblings come up to Prince George. My sister has not seen my new place, and my kid just moved out too, so she’s go her own “new place” for my siblings to see. My brother has been to my new place a couple of times: once to drop off boxes in his storage and once to see my kid graduate from her program at the university. This visit will be a hat trick.

So, I am charged with the itinerary of their two day visit. They are flying in the morning and flying out the next day in the evening. My sister and I already gabbed on the phone about places to eat. The process of deciding where to eat was certainly a negotiation. I have my preferences, but there is also TripAdvisor and where my brother and sister would like to eat too. My siblings and dad did come to Prince George a five years ago in 2021 (see image below). It was right after the COVID-19 pandemic and my kid had also moved to Prince George too. It was a big transition for my kid, and now in 2026, my kid is a registered nurse, working full-time (along with research), and just moved into her own place.

I guess you can say that I am a proud mom… which I am… but I am also excited for my siblings to visit. It’s been awhile since I have seen them. Maybe the last time I saw them in-person is in first photo above in Toronto, where we all went to a family reunion on my mom’s side of the family in the spring. That was a great trip, and this photo is “our family” within the family tree. Anyway, the reunion had a nice balance between planned activities and free-time. I hope to do the same, but it is likely that we are going to have a jammed packed itinerary of PG-FUN!! The two-day visit will involve visiting both of our places in Prince George, eating at locally owned restaurants, 3-par golf, and other Prince George activities.

The restaurants we have chosen were Wall-of-Fame, Kahari King, Grama’s Kitchen, Fortune Palace, and Ice Cream Express. We will do 9-holes at Pine Valley Golf Course, and we will visit the Two Rivers Art Gallery, the Sunflower Festival, the Farmers Market, and Dandy Lines. We might go see Mr. PG, and maybe go to some thrift shops and second-hand stores. Whatever else that happens will be extra. My sister will stay at my place, my brother at the Marriott (avid point collector), and we’ll be taking my car. This trip will entail sibling-fun!! I can’t wait. The fact that I am going to make the itinerary is ironic. I am not normally the planner in my family. I’m usually the one that follows the crowd.

We went golfing the last time they were here. I guess my kid’s boyfriend will take my dad’s place in the five-some (aka., two plus three). Let the planning begin!!

August 1, 2026 – A New Attitude

I can’t believe it’s August 1 already. This spring/summer semester has flown by. Lots has happened and there is lots still to do. I have a tonne of things to do… and I have less than a month to do it. Great ((sarcasm)). Strangely, I like a little pressure, but it’s not a good habit to keep. Typically, I underestimate how long it takes to do something. I need to pick up on the lesson and spend more time on doing things. I like to followthrough, but often I keep too many promises. Some things need to get off the plate, by either doing them or removing them. It’s nice to know I have a choice. I am no longer motivated by the hustle, but rather by doing what feels good and is aligned to what I want to accomplish in life and at work.

For example, I participated in a podcast hosted by Associate Professor Dr. Joseph Shea from UNBC called “Climate Conversations.” He interviewed a dozen or so faculty from UNBC for this project. I accepted the call, and it turns out that I am the first episode of the series. Woohoo!! ((See link below)).

The podcast launched on July 31, 2026. I started to watch it. He is very good at this. I’m somewhat horrified to watch myself speak, but it seems in line to who I am. I got about halfway watching the video and then returned to this blog post. I appreciated the introduction to the episode and summary offered by Joe. I liked how the video was produced and I look forward to the other upcoming episodes.

As for my work, in general. I am working on developing a micro-credential course, I need to do major revisions on a manuscript I had recently submitted (that was based on my doctoral work), I am designing webpages for a research project I am working on, and I need to write a book review. That’s just the high level items on my things to do this month, in addition to writing course outlines, presenting (twice) at the 2026 UNBC Teaching and Learning conference, and concluding the data collection process for one of the studies I am leading. I feel very lucky to do the work that I do and now, as seen in the photo above, I have my own office in my own place. Working from home, I feel, will/can be more productive.

Do not be alarmed by the number of books. I had adopted more than half of these from a friend who was purging out her shelve and I graciously accepted them. They are all education based, leadership based, or Indigenous Education. There are a few literacy books as well as numeracy books too. All of what she offered was very much aligned to the work that I do and like to learn about. I feel that having my office (and doing this work for the first time in my office) offers an opportunity to start anew. I have a clear working space in my home. I love that. I am really enjoying my time in my office and I love that I got to put up the images I got/won from Ed Hill/curling. He signed all of these images, except for one, that I painted myself at one of Ed Hill’s art classes. So, I guess it’s still an “Ed Hill.”

It feels great to be in this space and it feels great to work in a space that feels good. I love that my bedroom is now my bedroom and my dining room is a place to eat. There are clear locations in my place… and my kid now has her own place one building away from my place. She’s close, but in her space. I love that I can tackle the work in this place with my cat quietly sitting at the window sill or behind me on the bench (as seen in the photo). I feel a calm and steadiness that I have never felt before, or at least, never noticed. I am grateful to be in this place and space and look forward to the work I will get done here (and at work too, of course).

Blogging x2 is a weekly habit I would like to keep up with. I fell of the wagon last month due to the workload, but now I feel that I am getting back to those familiar routines and it feels great. My next task after this blog post is to make a list of things to do on my whiteboard that sits in my office. It’s visible and ready to be listed with “stuff to do.” I feel so lucky to do the work that I do. I will not take it for granted. Nothing is forever, but it’s always best to stay in the present. <3

July 26, 2026 – What story do I want to tell?

I would often tell teacher candidates in some of my courses that you have “a brand” whether if you know it or not, or work on it or not. This premise was the underpinning for courses that I taught with e-portfolio and creating a digital narrative of their teaching and learning journey within the teacher education program. Last year (and my first year), I did not teach portfolio, but I am very cognizant of the importance of self-knowledge as part of good teaching. What we do as teachers matter. We can have a long lasting impact on students. We cannot predict what kind of impact we have, but it’s best to be “who your are.”

So, who is that?

Admittedly, I did not come to this understanding when I was teaching in K-12. When I was teaching high school math, I thought I was an extrovert. My Myers Briggs was ESTJ. Now, if I do my Myers Briggs, I am an ENFP. So, I’m still an extrovert, but every other preference have shifted. I’m not sure if it was leaving the practice, going into politics, or the pandemic that tipped me over to a new way of being, but what I do know is, my identity, sense of self, and self-efficacy are always changing and shifting. I was (and probably still am) horrible at “selling myself.” It’s not quite humility and it’s definitely not shyness. It’s more about feeling good about who I am, what I do, and what I have to offer others.

My pedagogical journal has taken me to many places since 2010. I left teaching in K-12 after 16-years of practice, I believe at the height of my teaching career. I was not happy. That said, I did not know where I was going, but I need to take the ups and downs of My Journey, and just be OK that my path is not like any other person’s pathway, which seems reasonable. I was too busy thinking about what other people are doing and comparing my work with others as a reliable metric. What I have learned over time is, the path I choose is the one I am meant to take and it’s my job to learn from the ups and downs, and take action.

Now in 2026, (wow… another 16-years later) I am feeling more like myself and I am happy with who I am, what I am doing, and what I have to offer others. I know that I love to teach and work with students as a co-learner and co-leader. I love action research and the work that is involved with that methodology and the people who are engaged in that work. I love conferencing, presenting, and collaborating with folks in K-12 education. In the end, I would consider myself as a RESEARCHER-PRACTITIONER. My scholarship is in teaching and learning, and at the centre of my research is my practice. Hence, I tend to write program evaluations, and would like to tinker more in self-study and autoethnography.

I am currently working on my CV and updating it in preparation for an application for funding. I was just reading an article about “how to write a CV for academia” and I am reminded of a conversation I had with someone a handful of years ago about these mish-mash of items need to align to a cohesive and comprehensive research agenda. I understand that conversation NOW… and how do I align these seemingly disconnected pieces into a map that is easy to navigate but also lend itself to future research that matters to me and the field. What I have learned in My Pedagogical Journey is, when I am comparing or thinking of others, I am compromising who I am and my work. I could not see its value.

Updating my CV has taken me many days to update, and I am stil updating, but what I am noticing is… I AM LEARNING. I have shifted some aspects of my CV and now I am looking at the university CV template and I am re-thinking how I want to present myself, my work, and my experiences. WHAT STORY DO I WANT TO TELL. For quite some time, I think I was trying to tell a story that someone might want to hear or read about. But, is that the story I want to tell? I am learning how to build my efficacy in research and academia. It’s taken me some years, but I love everything I have learned so far. I had to build a humility, but also understand MY WHY in the service of others. The goal with my brand is to be who I am… with authencity, wholeheartedness, and love, joy, and fun. 🙂

July 18, 2026 – Gratitude and Hope

Admittedly, I was humming and hahhing about what to write this week. I started this blog post yesterday, and I wrote my other blog post on my other WordPress site, but I felt a little stumped about what I wanted to write here. Blogging has been a place of solace for me to reflect and wonder. When I started blogging in 2010, I wanted a place to express myself, at first, then it became a place where I could practice writing, and now it has become a reflective practice. I just love reflecting on my week and thinking about what’s on my mind and writing about it. Of course I could be writing in a paper/pen journal, but there is something very liberating about writing in a blog. I love that term that I learned from the DEEPER LEARNING CONFERENCE in Chilliwack, BC. Making learning public.

I guess, in some way, I am making my learning public by blogging, but also I love putting my thoughts (in writing) on a public online platform. By doing so, it feels more meaningful or high stakes, for me. Despite the fact that someone may or may not read this post, blogging on WordPress provides a framework and guidelines as to what I write, how I write, and why I write. It took me some time to figure out the criteria for my blog posts, but I feel that I am in a good place. I don’t over edit now (thanks to 2-step authentication and losing access to my original website… until I got it back again due to some serendipity and luck), the length of my blog posts range from 800-1000 words (from about 80-150 words), and I write about things that my stream of consciousness takes me.

So… viola. I’m writing about my blogging process when I had originally intended to write about “doing hard things.” In a way, blogging, expressing myself, and creating my digital footprint while figuring out who I am since 2010 was a hard thing to do. Although I learned not to put specifics in my blog posts (i.e., names), my blog posts since 2010 is a documentation of my pedagogical journey. It’s been a bumpy one, but I realize also, a privileged one. I attribute my freedom in Canada to my mom (and dad). My mom was a STRONG person. I did not realize how strong my mom was until she passed away. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Her passing has served as a catalyst to my growth.

I often feel that my mom held on, waiting for me to complete my dissertation and doctoral degree. She wanted to see that happen. Although she did not feel well enough to do go my oral defence (my dad did, and embarrassed me… ugh), she did go out for lunch with me to the Congee King on Kingsway in Burnaby to celebrate my success and have congee with me and dad. I was so grateful for her support (and mediation with my dad). She always believed in me. And, she was patient. On her last day at the hospital (she did MAID), she introduced me to the nurses as a “professor.” I was not going to correct her. At the time, I was an unemployed sessional instructor. LOL. Semantics, I guess. But, she even took the time to give me a pep talk prior to the procedure to know my gifts.

Ever since my mom passed away in 2018, I have been belabouring her words. For a long time, I did not believe her words, hence the belabouring. Now, so much in my life has changed. I no longer live in the same place, I’m single, and my kid will be leaving the next pretty soon. I am an Assistant Professor (so, close) and I am learning about who I am, what I have to offer, and my gifts. Only now can I see the value of my doctoral work and my research, only now I can live in a way that aligns to who I am and what I deserve, and only now I can see what I am able to do… and “I can do hard things.” I did not think that I could do qualitative research and submit for publication, I did not think that I could be provide critical but constructive feedback on graduate research work, and I did not think I could live on my own and live my best life. But guess what? I can.

July 12, 2026 – It’s been a hot minute

It’s been a while since last blogged. In the last month, it seemed like when it rains, it pours. Everything happened all at once. As a result, I had to learn how to ask for help, ask for an extension, and ask forgiveness. My big learning was rewriting a chapter. We got feedback and met several times as to how things could be revamped. We made a plan we agreed with, and by the time I was able to get to this work, it was A HUGE MOUNTAIN to overcome. I had no idea how much work was required to rewrite this chapter with this new approach. Huge respect to qualitative researchers, and thank you for my writing team for their support. If anything, what I got from that experience was a tonne of learning about grit, patience, resilience, process, methodology, kindness, and grace.

I am likely to write about some of the wonderful and amazing events that has happened this last month like the Deeper Learning Conference and the Fit-Choice Network Online, but for now, I would like to talk about OVERCOMING OBSTACLES aside from the one just mentioned about rewriting a chapter. Also on my things to do last week was reviewing a dissertation as an external examiner and thesis as a committee member. I am reminded how challenging the research process is. You are learning how to do research, you are figuring out how to best research your topic to answer your question, you struggle with how to best present the information, and there is a battle with yourself and any self-talk you may have as an emerging or early career researcher. It’s not easy.

For me, my learning cycle happens every 8-years or so. when I was teaching, I needed to change every 7-8 years, I left teaching after 16 years and served as as school trustee for 7 years which was also the same time I completed my doctoral degree, and now I have just completed 8 years at the university. It seems like it would be the time of which I am transforming into a new for of me and thus, my work. This semester is my second out of eight years to have a research semester to not be teaching during this term, and it might be my last for a while until I ask to ask to have the term free from teaching, which is a right I have as stated in my collective agreement. That said, working is good too. LOL. I am not complaining, but what I am saying is, I need to make most of this time.

Although I cannot believe that it’s already mid-July and how fast time is flying by, I am so grateful for what I am learning, what I have learned, and for the people who are in my circle. I realized that my people do not have be in the same geographical region, and people (i.e., mentors) will come and go when you need them. One of my biggest lesson is that the only person looking out for you is YOU. I don’t know why I had thought that people are there to help others, but I am clear now that now matter what’s happening “out there”… what’s happening “in here”? I had so much to overcome. It was imposter syndrome X 10, but there were so many life changes happening at the time, and how that impacted my identity, my sense of self, and my sense of value… I could not see my worth.

Anyway, ever since I left teaching in K-12, I’ve been on a PEDAGOGICAL JOURNEY to figure out who I am, what I love to do, and why it matters. I am so grateful for mentors, colleagues, friends, family, and students for helping me along this journey. It’s taken some time to rebuild myself. Eight years later, I have my own place, my kid has graduated from university, and I feel more like myself. I want to be who I am and who I am meant to be. It’s been a while, but I have submitted my manuscript to a journal to be published. Wow. Shocking. I got plenty of signs pointing me in the direction of math education, and it was time. What I love about the submission is, I told my supervisor/co-author that I had submitted the manuscript, and I got a “thank you” and humility in return.

When you are aligned to who you are, life unfolds exactly the way it should. 🙂

June 19, 2026 – It took some time to clear

Nothing isn’t as clear or straightforward as it seems to be. For example, I am going to physiotherapy. I think I’ve gone about a dozen times, and I am making progress, but the journey is not over. At first, I thought I had a hip flexor problem after I got a Thai massage. Nope. That’s not right. I thought is issue was acute and I need was to put my hip in place. Nope. Wrong again. I thought it was due to falling on the ice a handful of months ago, and then I thought about my curling injury from a few years ago. Wait a minute… it was bigger than I thought.

Same story with my COGNITIVE CLOG… there was no quick fix. There are layers and layers of reasons/factors/variables that create this cognitive clog. I think about my bathroom sink. What’s creating that clog? Hair, bacteria, barf… who knows, but the sink would work a lot better without the clog. Sure, you can wait a bit longer for the sink to drain, but either pushing that clog through or pulling out what ever is making that clog is ideal. Either way, each takes bit of time and navigation to clear that clog. Well, I just got that today… cognitively.

I often wonder why I got into academia. I would say it was never a goal… but then I would be lying because I used to write on pieces of paper as a kid, “Dr. Christine Ho, BSc, MSc, PhD.” I did not take that pathway exactly, but for some reason, I knew I was going to be a doctor. It was something that I wanted, yet for many decades of my life, I believed that I am not a good writer, I am not a good reader, so what in my right mind said… let’s go into academia??? Not sure, but here I am. Lots of what I am very interested in academically is about efficacy, identity, and learning. Guess what? Those are all the areas that I struggle with.

I mentioned this in another blog post… that I heard in a podcast… RESEARCH is ME-SEARCH. I cannot deny this notion. Moreover, I’ve been trying to figure out my research program. I really dislike having to write my bio because you have to write about your research interests. And yet, after spending a lot of time trying to figure out what my doctoral research was going to be about and then having to research and write about this topic was a journey and a half. So much self-discovery, disappointments, and life changes took me down a path that soon after I figured out to write about and find the love for my work, I ditched it.

What do I mean about that?

Was there anyone interested in my work? I remember that I offered a session at the provincial math conference one year, and no one showed up except for one colleague who is a professor at another university who followed my work about Indigenous Education and Mathematics (of which I am writing a chapter about). I presented the work at an international conference, and no one showed up there. I did very well in my oral presentation during my defence and was told that this was one of the best defences that one of the members of the examination team had seen. That was a compliment, but the confidence for my work was rapidly declining even though my supervisor wanted me to publish and be a co-author.

I had no idea what was happening. A long story made short, I spent a lot of my time in academia hiding my work and trying to do other work that’s not really mine. Does that sound like a cognitive clog? It sure does. I did not value my work, and I was very sensitive to any feedback or comments about my work. Even though there was a manuscript ready to go, one rejection threw me over the edge. I had a tonne of self-doubt, and I created stories about my work and abilities that were not true. It’s like being in an abusive relationship, and I have the pleaser mentality. Don’t make waves, or nobody will like you. That was made pretty clear early in my journey in academia. I played the cards wrong. Lay low.

My productivity was slow and marginal. I gradually gained my confidence back in teaching, and I really parked my ambitions when my daughter started to attend university. I need to really find ways to create stability for us, so I just stayed the course. I wanted to learn more about research, but I never took the risk to pursue my research. I started to write about identity development and e-portfolios, but EdTech is not my field of expertise. At every moment, at every turn, I felt like I was “out-of-field” with my teaching and research. I could do it, but my heart was not deeply embedded in the work, even though it’s important.

Over time, I established lots of stability in my work. I renewed my contract, bought a house, became a cat mom, got fully committed to a SLOW-professor lifestyle, and tried not to get to distracted by being hustled or feeling judged. I just got to the place where I wanted to do what I wanted to do on my own terms. Part of that was realizing how much I love mathematics education. But, I was also doing work around equity, identity, and professional learning. Lots of what I was doing at the university was dancing around my doctoral research without doing or continuing with that research, per se. Now I see, I have to return home.

And just like that, the cognitive clog clears.

June 18, 2026 – CSSE 2026

See photo. What a great way to end my CSSE 2026 conference experience at the University of Winnipeg. Being with friends and meeting new people over food… there is no other way I want to spend my time. I am so glad that we are no longer in COVID-19 times. Although there are many things that I currently do that are COVID-influenced, like Zoom meetings and working from home, I just love a good conference. This year, CSSE (Canadian Society for the Study of Education) Conference 2026 was held at the University of Winnipeg. This year, CSSE was not part of Congress, which did not run this year. An expected consequence is, associations connected to CSSE were able to mix and mingle.

Admittedly, I am an Pro-D PIG. I love professional development, and I love professional learn, so I love going to conferences and workshops. It’s just what I love to do. I’m owning that now. Who would have thought? Well, my colleague from many years ago that I am co-authoring a chapter with has mentioned that to me several times, and well, looking back at my career in K-12, trusteeship, and in academia… I LOVE LEARNING. The kind of learning I love relates to teaching and learning. Hence, I am understanding that my research program is aligned to the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning (add a little leadership too).

At CSSE 2026, I presented twice for the Canadian Association for Teacher Education (CATE)… once, representing the research team from the Climate Education in Teacher Education (CETE) study from UNBC, and once with a couple of colleagues from the BC Teacher Education Network (BCTEN). The first presentation was about a couple of frameworks created by CETE that teachers to use to plan for Climate Change Education using BC’s Curriculum. the second presentation was about Connective Professionalism in BC. Both topics are about doing what’s good in teacher education and K-12 education.

The more that I am learning more about myself and the work that I do, the more I am understanding that I am continuing the work that fuelled me decades ago when I started teaching in K-12 schools as a secondary mathematics teacher. How can we improve the learning experience for students? Part of this question involves professional learning communities, learning out-of-field, and finding the love for learning. Ironically, as I listed out these three components that align to this guiding question are areas that I am also engaging in and searching for. Huh. That’s kind of cool to realize. I love that. And, I feel that I am already here.

The other part I was involved with at CSSE was being the Vice-President and Program Manager for the Canadian Association for Action Research in Education (CAARE). I went to every CAARE session to self-assess and for formative feedback as to how well the program was constructed, etc. I loved every session. The first day of the CAARE conference at CSSE 2026 was spectacular, thought-provoking, and 100% engaging. It was like… “Am I home?” I was so deeply invested in every session, and I was so mesmerized by the diversity of the research projects and by the change each project is making.

Again, I am back to my guiding question… and listening to every CAARE presentation was answering the question in their own way. Wow. No wonder I found the CAARE conference so aligned to who I am and what I want to do. Huh. This makes sense to me. OMG. What a gorgeous aha from blogging and reflection. I could not understand why I loved the CAARE sessions. I met many amazing people in CAARE, I work with some outstanding individuals on the CAARE executive, and I now know that my research program is action research. What a beautiful aha. What I do in my research is about facilitating change.

I know… people don’t like to change for the sake of change… but where I am coming from, change needs to be explored. How can we improve the learning experience for students? This guiding question is not static. Context matters. What I love about conferences and professional learning is CHANGE. People are exploring and investigating questions they have. What they find can create change. Also, in a program evaluation, trying something new in one’s practice is about reflecting on the impact of change or action. I can really see my alignment with Action Research, Leadership, and the Scholarship for Teaching & Learning.

I can do this.

June 7, 2026 – An Exceptional Day

At the university, I love being a part of convocation. During my time at UNBC, I have volunteered to be one of the Faculty Leads for the faculty procession at convocation. There are two ceremonies at UNBC, and love being a part of both. This year was a special year… my kid is graduating from the School of Nursing. I cannot believe that she has finished the 4-year program at CNC and UNBC. It was not that long ago when she made the big move to Prince George to be with me. We have grown up so much together during the last 5-years, and I am so grateful to be part of these formative years as my kid enters the workforce and adulthood.

I wrote about her in my other WordPress blog and made note of her many accomplishments and achievements. As said in the video below. I believe that her time at UNBC is “unmatched.” The kid has surpassed my expectations and she starts work as a registered nurse tomorrow. I can’t believe it. She is also ready to leave the nest as she considers looking at places to purchase in Prince George, as an investment, but also signalling her first steps into independence. I wanted to share in this blog post 2 videos posted by UNBC Alumni and UNBC. I love that there was an immediate documentation of this special day for the kid.

My kid would rather lead from behind. She’s not one to brag or promote herself. I get that. I’m much like that too. She just wants to do good things and get things done. She surely knows how to do that. I am so proud of all of the community work she does in Prince George and UNBC (re: Stem Cell Club, Pre-Med Club, Prince Hoops, and Relay for Life), but I am so happy to know that her work is recognized by many. I appreciated that the Interim President personalized his convocation speeches by recognizing 2-3 students. The kid was one of them. Best of all, her convocation was the same day as her birthday. What an exceptional day!!

Congratulations KID… you did it… you rocked it!! You should be proud of your accomplishments, and the person you are becoming. I am so proud of you.

Volunteering at this year’s convocation was extra special. I loved reuniting and seeing the MEd and BEd students graduating this year, reconnecting with colleagues as part of the faculty procession for both ceremonies, and to see you cross the stage… hugging your friend, Chancellor, Interim President, Chair, and your MOM, along with all other School of Nursing Faculty members. Yay YOU!!