September 29, 2023 – Acceptance

Oh my… like I always say… “everyday is a learning day.” Yesterday was no exception. This image is of my EDUC 394 class and we held our class at the Ceremonial Fire Circle with guest speaker Clayton Gauthier followed by the UHNBC Drummers. We just finished looking at the SD57 Special Report, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Calls to Action in Education, and First Peoples Principles of Learning last week and this week we recognized National Truth and Reconciliation Day.

Although I had felt that I had organized what I needed to do for this fire circle, I did spend some time to ensure that the day would proceed in a good way. I got the moral and financial support from my program chair, I established permission from the Office of Indigenous Initiatives to use the Ceremonial Fire Circle yesterday, and I managed to book the fire circle and firewood despite my lack of timliness.

I feel very lucky.

I also feel very fortunate that both Clayton Gauthier and the UHNBC drummers were able to spend part of the morning with my class to share their story, drum, and sing songs. Students volunteered to build the fire and give gifts to our guests. Moreover, I collaborated with the Admin Assistant to ensure we had gifts to give for this special event. For that, I am also very grateful. I could not do this alone.

What I did not anticipate were the details and the unexpected. I woke up that morning with emails to address and a bus to catch (I still don’t have a car to drive since my accident). Emails always take longer than I think it would take to compose so I rushed out of my apartment with my coffee to catch the bus. Damn. It’s raining. I had time to have breakfast and definitely no time get an umbrella.

I got to the bus stop in time, but there was no bus. I thought the bus was delayed, but no… the bus schedule had changed. Huh. No worries, I’ll just write the cohorts that I will be a bit late to set up the fire and I will be there soon. I sent the email when I got on the bus, but the email immediately bounced back to let me know I had no access to the cohort email addresses. What could I do? Just let it go.

I finally arrived.

The bus arrived at the university and I shuffled quickly to the morning’s meeting place. I was about 10 minutes late and it was still raining. Anyway, the fire building crew were ready to go as well as other students in the class. The fire crew took the cart to build the fire and the students all arrived as well as the first guest speaker. I wanted to stay outside and thankfully the guest speaker wanted to be by the fire.

We gathered closely around the fire and Clayton spoke about understanding self, loving oneself, and accepting oneself. He said that we can’t give our power away. Things like worry, doubt, and judgement takes our power away. Once again, I felt like he was talking to me about. I was giving my power away as I thought that the day was not going the way I had planned. It was tough to let things go and allow.

I felt the whole morning was about surrender, but now I realized that it’s more about acceptance. The gift cards were not brought to the circle in time and I did not have the honorariums ready for that day. We ended earlier than expected and students went inside as we waited for the UHNBC Drummers to arrive. I was thankful to some indoor time for the class. I was feeling a bit sad about the rain.

The drummers arrived.

We took a group photo with the drummers and Clayton. I felt that was a good moment and the rain was lightening up. I was also grateful that the students returned and some other people joined the circle. Although the lead drummer was not able to join us, the folks did an excellent job leading the class through a handful of songs. I was grateful that they demonstrated learning and leading to the class.

In the end, as much as the details and weather were out of my control, the morning resulted exactly the way it should. The only person getting in the way of my plans was me. I had expectations, vision, and experience that was somewhat misaligned with what actually happened. The best moment for me was knowing that the students were grateful for the morning and found it powerful and memorable.

I listened to a podcast this morning with Dr. Gabor Maté on Arm Chair Expert promoting his new book. I am so enamoured by Gabor and his work aligning the body, mind, and spirit. He spoke about trauma and how our actions are guided by past experiences and of ones that are intergenerational. Part of his book was the “4 As” and one of them being ACCEPTANCE. I get that. This was my lesson.