November 5, 2023 – The Little Things

There is nothing I like more than slowing down. I am learning each day how to do that even though the last few weeks have felt like mayhem. I am not sure if the mayhem has ended but I am taking the time to slow down because that’s what I need. I am learning to be ok with this need to slow down. As my kid would say, I’m a TIME SUCK. Truth… I am savouring time. I love to take my time and be intentional with my actions. I’ve gone through most of my life not doing this and thinking that it was expected of me to in “the race” or I would sometimes call “the hustle.”

Weirdly, I situate myself in this situation, especially as an “academic-wannabe” in higher education. I’m not sure what I am trying to prove and to whom, but now I understand that the person I need to impress and belong to is ME. I had it wrong all along and now I am learning how to make my own path through life and work. I am so grateful to my classes in the last few years for walking beside me during this journey of self-discovery. If I’m really honest with myself, I’ve been on this journey for a long time. I’m just turning the corner… I am moving closer to being human.

It’s been an incredible journey over the last two years, in my practice and life. I’m not even sure why I am separating the two… they are the same thing… it’s just me. Anyway, I’ve been working on my pedagogy and just the other day (November 2) was the first time I felt like my teaching and classroom dynamics felt just as good as it was when I was teaching high school mathematics in public schools. I feel like the two teaching experiences re-connected. That only took 15-years to get here. I was so pleased students took control of their learning in my Thursday’s class.

I am making connections everyday and I am so grateful for the lessons I learn from my friends, colleagues, students… and the kid. Ever since my car accident in the summer, I was trying to operate from a YOLO-mindset and not sweat the little things. I realized that everythingI thought was important was not important. So what is important? It’s me. I don’t say this as if I was a narcissist, but the opposite. What my learning journey is guiding me to is being more attuned to myself, my needs, and my value. I’m important and that’s not a bad thing. I can do what I love.

Hence the image above of my nephew-dog. Do what you love. Enjoy. Savour. I love to teach. I love to learn. I love doing things that I love to do… like sleeping in Saturday mornings, watching Hallmark movies, curling on Friday nights, eating a big breakfast at a hotel restaurant, eating dumplings and yummy congee, being with my family and kid, spending time with friends, collaborating with colleagues, going to craft fairs, loving my mom, and writing and reflecting on my practice. I’m sure there are more things like drinking coffee and eating a bag of chips. LOL.

OK. I can’t forget about my Squishmellow Collection (and Croc footwear). That’s something about me and what I love. I am learning to worry more about what I think and not what others think. As difficult as that can (or could) be, especially in my work, what matters most are my values. Like Kon Mari, does it bring me joy? Cam the Squishmellow brings me joy… along with his other friends at my home. Admittedly, there has been obstacles, struggles, and experiences I wished never happened. But, I do have a lot of joy, wonder, and happiness. Just live your life!!