Dr. Christine Ho Younghusband

May 6, 2025 – Change is OK

I am left wondering about blogging and portfolio in teacher education and in my practice. I maintain another WordPress site of which I have regularly blogged in since 2010. Originally, I wanted to practice my writing skills via blog with a “real audience” where there was some stakes in the game. I hired someone to create that website for me. I may have muddled around with it too much, and over time I had lost access to that account because of a “two-step authenticator” and buying a new phone. I got locked out of my account and could only access the account via my iPad which eventually experienced lots of limitations due to updates, etc. I had to eventually give up that website and concede to leaving my thoughts and whatever I wrote on that website as digital debris. I moved onto creating this website as part of my work in the teacher education program but also to return back to blogging to reflect on and think about my practice.

Now, I am no longer teaching EdTech or portfolio as courses within the teacher education program. How that evolved, I am not sure, but I was open to change and now here I am. Although I did include portfolio as part of another course as I took some time to grieve the change, I can see now that I don’t have to include portfolio as part of my coursework and move forward onto something new. This change reminds me of the IGNITE presentations. I did include them as part of my undergraduate course this year, which was great, but I let go of them as well in the teacher education program. So, I am left wondering, what’s next? I don’t have to maintain this website to serve an an exemplar to teacher candidates or graduate students of whom I supervised in EDUC 796 for a portfolio capstone.

One of the pieces of advice I give to teacher candidates is, follow the path that the doors open for you. Don’t try to force a direction you career. Have goals but be open to the opportunities that lie ahead of you. You don’t know what you don’t know. That’s how most of us navigated through our careers in K-12. And sometimes when you are to fixed on a goal or try to make something happen that’s not there, often it does not work in you favour. It only feels like an uphill climb and we can get disheartened by the journey. Boy, am I telling my story. However, once I let go and just went to the doors that were open to me, I am 100% happier and love what I am doing. I had no idea life could be this way. I am focused on what brings me joy and I have gratitude for the path I am on.

Of course, I did not anticipate this was the pedagogical journey I would take, nor was I prepared for the challenged I had to face, but change and being open to change has been integral to my success. Right now, I am reading a book about relationships, heartache, and letting go. This book about people but it could be about anything. I had no idea that letting go of practicum supervision, letting go of being the B.Ed. Coordinator, and letting go of portfolios would lead to more time to do what I love, teach courses that I love, and have the freedom to write and research during this spring/summer term without courses to teach. This is my first term not teaching any courses and I am wide open to doing research.

I never thought I would be here and feeling hopeful about what’s ahead. I can only do my best and do what’s best for me. I understand that now. A colleague and mentor of mine said that to me 2-years ago… be selfish. I never understood what that meant, but what it really means is, prioritize yourself. It’s taking me years to understand what I love, what makes me happy, and what I value. I am still learning and I am learning more about my value and what I bring to the table. I have nothing to lose. It’s just change. So, I am left with the conundrum of whether to continue with portfolios in one of my classes in teacher education, let it go, and if I should continue my weekly blog on this platform. Change is good.

April 29, 2025 – Visiting Family

In the last year or so, I’ve been focusing on work life balance and REST. In the beginning of 2024, I almost burned out. I had to catch myself. Saying “yes” to everything is unreasonable. As a result, I spent most of 2024 focussing on what “makes me happy” and ended the year with a few wins: (1) bought a townhouse; (2) gallbladder operation; and (3) ending the term well and feeling good about it. I also went to Las Vegas with my siblings and my kid in the winter time, and I spent the Christmas holiday in my new place. XO. I feel very grateful for 2024.

Now that we are almost 4-months into the 2025 school year, I wonder how I am doing with maintaining a work-life balance. I think that I am fully moved into my place and I believe that I have all that I want to have in my new place. My twin brother brought back a few boxes from Vancouver to Prince George, of which are stored in my garage. I do need to organize my garage, in a good way. So, I guess my home is a work in progress. I have also purchased a small BBQ and a plant for the patio. The plant did not survive, but I am enjoying BBQ dinners.

As for work, I’ve enjoyed my 4 classes in the Winter 2025 term. First, I was teaching classes that were in my areas of interest: math/numeracy, assessment, educational theory & practice, and instructional leadership. I enjoyed the subject matter and the students. I also learned a lot about myself and my practice. If anything, it was a fruitful semester and I look forward to teaching these courses again. Research is also part of my work. I was able to maintain the work for one research team and I learned how to co-create and submit a harmonized ethics application for another research group of which “I am leading.” It’s been too fun.

Once the marks were submitted, I took the time to taper the term with other work that I do with respect to service and research, but also take time for myself. For years, I would push myself and “keep going” rather than taking the time to rest and restore myself to keep what I do at the university sustainable. So, I did take a few days to go to the Lower Mainland to rest, get a massage, and visit family. As much as I could feel guilty in taking time for myself (beyond “be a person day”… aka. Saturdays), I feel that I needed to let my body and mind to do what it needed to do, to be where it needed to be, and be feel ready for the next term.

Now, I am heading back to work (after the Federal Election), and I feel good. It’s a lot of cognitive and emotional work to break habits that I’ve done for decades and find a new rhythm to keep what I do sustainable and enjoyable. Stress and busyness are not good metrics for success or happiness. I look forward to a term of writing and getting some stuff done. I have one more “promise” I have made to myself to conclude to the winter term. Let’s see how this goes. In the meantime, I am very happy with my work at the university and hope to continue for another few years with a renewed term contract. Onwards and upwards. 🙂

April 20, 2025 – Formative Feedback

The last possible day to submit grades for the Winter 2025 term is April 23rd. I’m glad that I met the due date with some time to spare. That said, I took some liberty with the final due date and last assignment submission. I was open to flexing the final due date for those who needed it, but I needed some flex too. For the last few years, I’ve been challenging myself and my pedagogy in terms of how to teach at the university that would be authentic and true to my values but also model what I was teaching and still being compliant to the university.

I started with my pedagogy… in teacher education and graduate studies. I think I have a strong hold of my approach to teaching in these classes. Students were helpful in providing me with feedback and helping how to I could approach teaching in higher education. Admittedly, I was driven by perceived expectations and stereotypes of what makes a “good professor.” I could not live up to those expectations, nor did I want to. It wasn’t like imposter syndrome. It was worse. I was being someone who I was not, and I was losing myself in the practice.

With each class, I wanted to do something different. Not being different for the same of being different, but rather being more like myself and aligning my practice to who I really was. The process was rather messy. Lots of mistakes or missteps were taken, but that’s where the learning really happens. The more vulnerable I was with my practice, the more aligned my assessment practices could be. Sadly, I was often in a cognitive struggle with who I wanted to be with whom I thought I should be. It wasn’t until Winter 2025 when it came together.

In brief, students in my teacher education classes offered unsolicited moral support and I received affirmation that was unexpected. They noticed my efforts and shared their appreciation with me. I wanted to hold that space for them but also accept those compliments at face value. In past, I would have shrugged them off and not believe them because I thought I had to always fix myself to be a better self. My graduate class was always fun. It’s amazing that they were able to recognize and call my class a “sharing circle” which I will not take for granted. Finally, my undergraduate class helped to turn a corner I thought I was unable.

Now, I approach my end of term marking period as a LEARNING opportunity for me. Instead of grading and evaluation… which involved lots of judgement and scrutiny… I took this marking season as a learning one. I was learning about what they learned. Did they meet the criteria? Did they personalize their learning? Did they complete the assignments? Did their work reflect who they are as a learner? Did they meet the expectation of the assignment? These questions regarding assessment made sense to me. The students completed the work, personalized their assignments, and met or exceeded expectations.

April 7, 2025 – Finding My Rhythm

As I approach the end of this 3-year contract as a full-time term faculty member, I am beginning to find my rhythm with teaching and learning in higher education. Can you believe that? I’ve joined the university almost 7 years ago. This is what I love about teaching. You can NEVER perfect this job. You are always learning. And when you feel like you have mastered the profession and you have nothing else to learn, adapt, or change… it’s time to retire or find a new job to pursue.

That sounds a bit intense. Another direction is burnout, but this blog post is not about that either. I want to dwell in my happiness and joy of my classes. This term I had 4 classes to teach: EDUC 421 (assessment and motivation), EDUC 376 (numeracy foundations in the elementary years), EDUC 201 (educational theory and practice), and EDUC 656 (instructional leadership). What a beautiful combination of courses (and students) to make this term sooooo awesome!!

In each course, I learned so much. In EDUC 421, I designed the course that aligned and responsive to their pedagogical learning needs. “I did not expect the course to end the way it did.” That’s what I said to the students at the end of the course. In EDUC 376, a 4-hour class, followed the 4-hour class of EDUC 421. It was an endurance test and because both classes were held on Mondays, we lost hours to professional development day and Family Day. I learned that I had to let go of the constraint of time and do what I could do in the time given.

I loved that I prioritized working with schools. In EDUC 421, we engaged in in-situ learning with Harwin Elementary, and in EDUC 376, we contributed to Family Numeracy Night at Edgewood Elementary. In EDUC 376, we had guest speakers from the school district and we went to 3 numeracy/math sessions with Carol Fullerton on the professional development day. I also engaged in personal professional development in math with BCAMT Interior and Mathematizing 24/7. I just so much learning about math/numeracy and working with folks in the field.

In EDUC 201, I learned so much. I always left that class thinking and wondering. We played and experimented. We examined equity in K-12 schools. I tested myself if I had the capacity to do teach this course and hold space for others. I learned what it means to be a student who is taking education as an elective course with some folks considering teacher education as a possible career. I was humbled and I felt scared most times because I was too worried about teaching the class that might be different from what they experienced in other undergraduate classes. In Week 8 or 9, we engaged in a Fish Bowl making MY LEARNING PUBLIC. That class was a game changer for me. Thank you all!!

Finally, EDUC 656 was an online class. After our first class, I knew this would be an awesome class. What a wonderful way to end the week and I always knew I would end the class inspired and revitalized. I would like to thank my colleague for pointing me in the direction of instructional leadership literature by Hallinger, of which how we started this class. Then we moved onto books by Peter Dewitt and Michael Fullan, and ended the course with Carolyn Roberts book on Re-storying Education. Wow. The pieced seemed to “fit together” serendipitously. We just had fun working with and listening to one another. I loved this course. I am hopeful.

I am teaching faculty. I am not on a tenure-track and I am not tenured or on a continuing contract. I am just learning how to be who I am. What a wonderful way to engage in Parker Palmer’s Heart of a Teacher – Identity and Integrity. I have approached this teaching year striving for AUTHENTICITY versus ATTACHMENT (re: Dr. Gabor Mate’s work). As precarious my position can be, I stopped worrying about (in fact, fearing) what others may think of me or my practice. I stayed true to my purpose and my love… the students and teaching.

March 30, 2025 – Change is a good thing

I missed blogging last week. I parked this weekly commitment to tend to other “things to do” that took precedent to my personal and professional reflections. I’m not sure if it was the best thing to do. Blogging has been something that I’ve been doing since I left teaching in K-12 in 2010. I would not have considered myself a good reader or writer. They were not my strengths is school, but interestingly I pursued a career that demands reading and writing. What is that all about? I often scratch my head at that notion, but here I am and I love it.

I mentioned in blogs before that I’ve tried a daily blog (like a couple of people I know) and I have landed at a weekly blog post. Now that I was able to reconnect with my old WordPress site, I am maintaining two blog posts per week, but it aches me when I’m unable to get to my weekly blog posts. Much like the experience of the students I teach, missing out on a regular routine of blogging, it’s is really hard to get back to the blogging process. However, as I reflect on last week, I am realizing that the brain/mind can only handle so much at a time.

Compassion, empathy, and kindness to self and others goes a long way for the learner and the teacher. This thinking brings me to my EDUC 201 class. They have been provoking my thinking (and being) as an educator in many ways. This year is my first time teaching this class in person. Last year, I taught the course online. That was my first time teaching the course. My first learning is, teaching undergraduate, graduate, and teacher education programs are very different and require a different approach or pedagogy from me (I believe).

Of course this idea of teaching differently for different courses makes sense, as well as teaching differently from year to year because whomever is in your class will be different. So, if you teach with “students at the centre” and are responsive to those in the room, you make decisions as to how the class will be delivered. That said, I am a person who likes to teach what I think is effective and what I want to learn about. In all of my classes, I am focused on equity, curriculum as policy, and decolonization. Within that framework, I am interested in activating teacher agency, student learning experiences, and educational leadership.

A couple of weeks ago, in EDUC 201, we engaged in a “fishbowl” activity where I was the learner who was making my “learning public.” We are reading Shafir and Dugan’s (2021) Street Data and in Chapter 7, it talked about professional learning and the teacher making their learning public to their peers to show their uncertainty and seek help and insight from their peers for support in a given situation. What a vulnerable suggestion from the book and personally, I have never witnessed or participated in such a professional learning activity in K-12.

So, why not? We had tried the “fishbowl” process earlier in the course, but it was super difficult because (1) it was our first time; (2) the topic was very challenging; and (3) students were able to change from the inner circle to the outer circle or vice versa. Nonetheless, it was good to return back to the “fishbowl” process to try again, but change the context and “rules of the bowl.” This time, we were engaging in making “my learning” public and the inner circle and outer circle did not change. The inner circle participate in the inquiry and the outer circle observe participants and listen to the conversation in the inner circle.

Of course, I brought a “real” concern to the inner circle to start the conversation. Folks in the inner circle started to ask questions to guide my thinking on my inquiry. The participants in the inner circle were OUTSTANDING. They where honest, kind, and compassionate. They were asking questions that brought light to my implicit biases on the situation and I was very uncomfortable (and vulnerable) because they were leading me to a “truth” that I wanted to deny or was resistant to. Our class is focused on equity in schools and what the inner circle brought me to a definitive place of unlearning. For this, I am very grateful.

What a powerful process and after the “fishbowl” activity, we reflected on the process. I learned that folks in the outer circle wanted to say something, but respected the process to witness and listen to the conversation. Also, they witnessed a reflective process and “change” was happening for the public learner. The “fishbowl” process and professional learning was AMAZING and I felt supported and held by the entire class. They created space for me and essentially encouraged me to keep moving forward and not lose sight of why.

EDUC 201 exceeded my expectations and I appreciated their willingness to participate. This experience influenced how I approached my teacher education and graduate classes in the following weeks. I had more confidence in what I was doing and I could feel good about being my authentic self. The focus is about learning and what I am learning is, my perceptions, feelings, and experiences of what I think how things should be in conflict with how I would like things to be are at odds, in my mind. And even if it is true in the real-world, I need to feel clear, calm, and confident with my practice and pedagogy. It’s ok.

March 17, 2025 – Working Together

On Thursday, March 14, 2025, I facilitated a session on Curriculum Mapping with faculty members. The Redesigned B.Ed. Curriculum at UNBC was first implemented in September 2020 and the program has taken several turns since it’s implementation during the pandemic with moving courses, changing courses, and replacing courses. What was first imagined in 2018/2019 by the curriculum development team shifted over time with its implementation. When we were making efforts to redesign the B.Ed. Curriculum in response to the changes in BC’s Curriculum (of which finalized in 2019) was an opportunity to envision what this program can offer teacher candidates to prepare them for the workplace. The program changed from a 2-year program to a continuous 16-month program, and we enacted two interwoven courses that run throughout.

The B.Ed. Redesign went through many consultations and was approved by the BCTC (BC Teachers Council) and the UNBC Senate. We had to update former courses but also make new ones. To chart out the courses and its progression, the program WIREFRAME was created. The general design was to start the program with more theoretical courses that are familiar to an undergraduate program, then would progress towards practice with practicum scaffolding over time from term to term from observation, experiential, formative to summative. As mentioned, the wireframe provided a framework for the program to implement courses over 4-terms (or 5-blocks) and we have changed a few courses for various reasons mentioned above. Curriculum Mapping is a process to check to see “how we are doing” to check if we are living up to our promises.

At first, I tried to implement this process digitally and hoped that folks would volunteer information about their course based on the 9 Professional Standards for BC Educators, 9 First Peoples Principles of Learning, and 9 relational ways of being and knowing (i.e., the Four R’s, Kirkness & Barnhardt, 2001). The 9-9-9 framework is taught during EDUC 446 (Indigenous/Aboriginal Education: Epistemology), one of the interwoven courses. Unfortunately, participation was incomplete and completing the Curriculum Map for the B.Ed. Program would be beneficial for our program review in the fall to show evidence how we are meeting the 9-9-9 within our program but also find examples that exemplify our Signature Pedagogy of People, Place, and Land. To re-approach the Curriculum Mapping Process, we met in person last week to highlight what we doing in each course. Although we were not all, the process was active and fruitful.

I am grateful that my colleague was willing to help me out with the Curriculum Mapping process and we co-planned the session last week. I also have the support of the Chair who made meeting in person possible (i.e., bringing regional faculty to Prince George, providing food during the day, and gathering together at the end of the day with dinner). What I enjoy most is faculty and staff members coming together to co-create, collaborate, and connect. We achieved what we had set out to do with Curriculum Mapping with folks who were there, and there were many side conversations that occurred amongst folks in the room to make decisions, to clarify, and to make-sense of how things are going and establishing possible next steps. We ended the day with a closing circle describing what “People, Place, and Land” means to us. I was just wowed.

There is quite a bit of work to do, such as catching up with folks who were not able to make it to the session, to collate the data into something meaningful, to analyze the map to determine if there are any gaps within our program, and to create a product or map that depicts the journey teacher candidates experience in our B.Ed. Program in the Regional Program and Prince George. A request was also made by one faculty member to make an effort to define “People, Place, and Land” for new faculty members and those who are looking for a direction or definition. Although defining the signature pedagogy was not yet established and was intended to form with each individual, it is certainly a topic for future discussion (possibly at the program retreat during the summer). I am thankful to move forward with this project and look forward to next steps.

March 9, 2025 – What are the odds?

The more that I am open to life and embracing the uncertain and unplanned, of which has turned out in ways better than I expected or imagined, I was so grateful to bump into this person. He lives in Prince George and we’ve worked on some student supervision and manuscripts together over the past few years. For me, the last 10-years have been a whirlwind for me and experiencing many life changes and trying to make sense of them, sometimes you just need a person to lean on to get over some of the perceived obstacles life gives you.

Well, this person was one of those people I could lean on. I’m not sure if he had thought he would be that person, but I really needed him to “treat me like a person”… but also provide perspective, share stories, and have space for me. Anyway, I learned a lot from him about statistical analysis (and Spain… LOL), and he sent me a photo on a messenger platform of noodles. I think he was trying to make me jealous. The irony was, I just landed in YVR and was on SkyTrain heading to Vancouver then Metrotown for a “be a person” weekend.

Guess what? My friend was in Burnaby at Metrotown for a business meeting. Huh? A little serendipity? Was it meant to be? YES… it was. It’s so strange because we are often challenged to meet in Prince George because of our schedules and here we are… in the Lower Mainland, no less… at Metrotown. A long story made short, we met for “late hours” at Cactus Club to say hello. We had a lengthy conversation. We chatted for 2.5 hours. Time just flew by. The place was super busy too. I guess it would be. It was Friday night. LOL. 🙂

I just loved how my friend asked me if I was in Vancouver for business or pleasure. I said… PLEASURE. It’s ok to spend some time for yourself. I say that, but it has taken me decades to figure that out. Now that I know and understand the value of rest, sleep, and valuing yourself, I am taking these moments with lots of intention. I have now embedded “be a person day” (aka., Saturdays) to just do what I want to do (that’s not work related), in a guilt-free, happy way. Sometimes it would be doing chores or just doing nothing. It did not matter.

This weekend, I’m in Vancouver to attend an event TONIGHT with Dr. Gabor Maté as a VIP ticket holder, but I also went to my favourite restaurants, got a massage, and went to my aunt’s 83rd birthday party. Furthermore, I’m staying in a hotel. Very bougie. Normally, I would stay at my brother’s but he was not feeling well, so this weekend is really “Christine’s Day” and I’m enjoying it. So, but bump into my friend and to spend some time with him chatting away about anything about life and staying in the present, I could not ask for anything more.

March 2, 2025 – Learning Math on Saturdays

What can I say? I’m still just as passionate for Professional Development when I was teaching in K-12 and now in teacher education in higher education. I can’t help myself. And, being on both sides of the professional development stage, as workshop facilitator or presenter and workshop participant, my preference is being the learner. Don’t get me wrong… I love to share what I have learned, but I don’t like being the “expert.” I don’t think I’ll ever get there even though I have my doctorate. I don’t have to prove myself to anyone or impress anyone. I used to think that was true. What I need to do is to love what I’m learning. That’s it.

When I was teaching in K-12 and now in higher education, I was allotted a lump sum annually for professional development. My balance was always ZERO with many claims to be had. Some were funded through professional development, but most likely it was personally funded. I just can’t help myself. Although I have just purchased a new home and the economy is currently unstable, I am still delving into professional development. In January, I flew to Vancouver to go to UBC for a community beading event. In February, I went to WestCAST at SFU. Next week, I am going to see Gabor Maté live with special tickets to meet him.

I also attended the Interior Math Conference online and this week, I just ended a 6 session event learning about building confidence in elementary mathematics. Wow. I learned so much from that online class. It was kind of serendipitous. I attended a free workshop shared by one of my friends/colleagues and that turned into me joining a 6-week session. It was a pilot session for the facilitator, but also a new experience for me to engage in professional development in math that extended longer than one event. I learned so much about problem strings, math resources, and ways to create a community in my math class.

The math class was so aligned to my values and I was so appreciative of the facilitator/educator. They are trying something new with supporting teachers in teaching mathematics, and I needed an opportunity to sit and learn about how to teach mathematics in the elementary years. Although I taught secondary mathematics for 16-years, I felt that my fire was stoked each Saturday morning to get back into the classroom again. So much that is learned in the elementary years are used and needed in the secondary years. And, it goes beyond the algorithm. I loved how math fluency and flexibility are developed for all learners.

My curiosity is provoked and I am very excited to learn more about teaching math. Sounds strange for me to say that, but I think that math can be fun, engaging, and community oriented. What I appreciated most about the workshops was how the learning was designed so that the students had agency and that they would come to their own conclusions about math algorithms, efficiency, and play. I am grateful to professional learning and professional development opportunities. I love learning, especially when when I can CMT (change my thinking). It feels great!!

February 23, 2025 – A Photo Collage

I had a wonderful few days in Vancouver at WestCAST 2025 at SFU in Burnaby. I co-presented with BCTEN (BC Teacher Education Network), co-presented with three secondary education teacher candidates, and coached one elementary education teacher candidate. The UNBC School of Education – Teacher Education Program was well represented with these teacher candidates. They should be proud of the work they have accomplished and what they shared with other teacher candidates and teacher educators in western Canada. Well done!!

I am figuring that this week’s blog post will be a photo collage. I normally follow a pattern or framework with each of my blog posts, typically including one photo and a lot of text reflecting on a particular topic. It’s time to “get out of the box.” I’m kind of doing a little bit of both without using another app to create collage. I had a wonderful time coaching and mentoring teacher candidates to prepare for and present at conferences like WestCAST to further their personal inquiry and gain experience presenting to folks in the field. Photo credit goes to the UNBC School of Education social media feeds found on Facebook, Instagram, and X

February 16, 2025 – Reflecting on Last Year

Apologies for the photo of my cat. It’s all I have as recent photos… or photos of my patio. Simon the cat just turned one-year old on Valentine’s Day. Why not? It’s approximately on this day, based on her adoption records, so we made it so. I love her to bits, even though she spends more time with the kid. That’s ok. I’m not jealous… LOL. And, I’m not mad that she’s destroying my bed for the soul purpose of hide-and-seek. I’m ok with that. LOL. That said, she is soooooo cute. I took this photo today when I was cleaning up my bedroom/office. How can you not take a photo? I was cleaning up the paperwork spread out in my room. She LOVES paper!! She loves ripping it, rolling in it, and siting on it. It’s her thing.

Why does this matter?

It doesn’t, except I spent all of Friday, that is, Valentine’s Day and Simon’s birthday, working on my Professional Activity Report (PAR) for 2024. I had been collecting and collating information, but stopped updating my CV in August and left my course evaluations in sealed envelopes or online on MS Forms. As I write this, I just didn’t have the time or prioritized this work while I was teaching. In the fall term, I had 3-courses (and some assigned work), and in the winter term, I am teaching 4-courses. I have not quite established the pace of 2025 yet. With 8-hours of teaching on Mondays and two night course during the week, as well as helping out edit two manuscripts in January. The days have been full.

Unfortunately, I underestimated the time it would take to collate and compose my PAR for 2024. It was due on February 14th and I managed to get it in by 7:30pm. This year, I have included course evaluations, of which, I took the time to summarize and review, as well as I got to include the chapter I’ve led with my research team in climate education in teacher education. I learned a tonne from that work, and now I feel like I’m being supported and mentored with a couple of friends/colleagues to lead another research project. Moreover, I joined another research team that is interdisciplinary with computer science and education.

As much as going through my PAR to update my CV and highlight my work in 2024 and make goals for 2025 in teaching, research, and service, the PAR process is an opportunity to reflect on what I have achieved and what I need to learn. Course evaluations scare the kajeebees out of me… trauma, really. Doing course evaluations was a STRETCH for me and a moment of growth to receive feedback and to think of ways to improve my practice for next year. Reviews were mixed but grateful for those who participated to give me some feedback. It’s truly a gift… not easy to read sometimes, but it’s humbling and informing.

I am also finding my groove in teaching and I love partnering with folks in the school district to provide learning opportunities or be guest speakers for my classes. I have also learned that keeping a “growth mindset” in my teaching and research practices, I can move forward with humility, curiosity, and happiness. I am also learning how to be myself and to honour myself and my time. I love going to conference and presenting at them. I went to CSSE Congress 2024 in Montreal, QC, Outdoor Learning Conference in Banff, AB, and WestCAST 2024 in Calgary, AB. I also participated in a tonne of professional learning too.

My PAR 2024 was approximately 90 pages and I feel a lot more confident and competent with what I have accomplished and submitted. After 7-years at the university and at the end of my 3-year contract, my work experience took many ups and downs, shifted from practicum to undergraduate and graduate courses, and finding opportunities to develop my research agenda with respect to writing, collaboration, ethics, and grant writing… I have no regrets. Everything happened for a reason and with each opportunity, I am learning. More importantly, in 2024, I have found my way with my work and feel good about my work and progress.

I hope to be renewed for another 3-years and continue the trajectory I am on. I am finally understanding my positionality and I would love to return back to my doctoral work in mathematics education and out-of-field teaching, and pursue my life’s work in an autoethnography to seek some understanding on belonging, family history, and ethnic identity as a second-generation Chinese Canadian woman and how these impact my understanding of the world. Part of this study is also about “20-days” and my relationship with my mom and how she impacted who I am as a person. It’s been 7-years since she passed. I am ready to write.