December 15, 2023 – Celebrate the End

I am not sure how I survived that term. I taught 5-courses, taught one course as a sessional instructor, and supervised one graduate student for their capstone portfolio. I did not have my car and I’m still on the healing journey while many things have unraveled before, during, and near the end of term. Whew!!

What I am learning is, (1) it’s not personal; (2) everyone is trying their best; and (3) you can’t control what other people do or think.

In response to this learning, (1) trust myself; (2) trust myself; and (3) trust myself. The goal is not to have everyone like you, nor is it to be rewarded or acknowledged for good work. It’s more about sticking to my values, my integrity, and my identity. It’s about being seen but for people to really see me, to do that I have to know me. This blog post is getting deeper than I intended, but what I am understanding is, Parker Palmer’s knowing the subject matter, knowing the students, and knowing myself. This self-knowledge is key to my success and I’m learning more and more.

Last term got unusually controversial and I was determined to know who I am and stand in my values. I did moderately OK and was super stressed. Thank goodness for other people how can provide perspective and help me through that process to realize that I did not do anything wrong (that said, it could have been better) but I can’t please everyone. I appreciated listening to a reel by Dr. Gabor Maté who emphasized for women because that’s what’s expected in a patriarchal society. He said that women are forced to put their authentic selves aside to put others first. The reel resonated with me in ways that I did not expect. He was telling my story.

This term was about learning about living as my authentic self. As mentioned, I had an excellent term. My practicum crew, teacher candidates and coaching teachers, were fantastic. I could not have asked for more of a successful final practicum term despite the fact this would be my last practicum within the program. I feel grateful. The 2 undergraduate courses with the new teacher candidates were also amazing. I’ve really enjoyed this crew and it was the two cohorts combined together in one class, for both courses. Finally, the 2 graduate courses were challenging, but in a good way. In all 4 classes, I intentionally included Indigenous Education and our roles as incoming teachers to the profession and educational leaders in schools.

I had my best teaching term. Sometimes delving into a teaching situation where I am not the expert in the subject matter, I was still able to hone my expertise as a facilitator and lead learner. If anything, I wanted to personalize the learning experience for those in my classes and support the teacher candidates in practicum to find their agency and learn more about their teaching identity and teacher efficacy. I also took on, at the last minute, one graduate student who advocated to have me as their supervisor for their capstone course in portfolio. Again, I took great lengths to personalize their learning experience and make accommodations when needed to ensure success and closure to the program.

This term I felt like I was in “the flow” much like I was when I was teaching math in high schools near the end of my term in public schools. It felt incredible, but mostly I felt more like myself. I was happy and I was focused on “doing what’s right, rather than doing things right” (even though, I felt like I did things right). Is there room for improvement? Of course there is!! I teach not by doing the same things every year, but I always try new ideas and make tweaks here and there to make things better. Sometimes it’s not better and that’s the learning (in teaching). And, I’m ok with that… I mean “the learning.” It’s not going to be perfect. That’s why feedback is always helpful, even though it might be judgement or pre-judgement. It’s ok.

If we can give ourselves the grace and compassion to make mistakes as educators, think about what we are modelling for students? Let’s keep learning in teaching.

Friday, December 8, 2023 – Marking Time

I took a bit of time to slow down this week even though it is “marking time” to enjoy the moments where I am not teaching online at night, prepping and planning in the middle of the night for classes on campus, and attending meetings (or emails) during the week. The fall term is coming to an end and although I did teach class on Monday as well at attend the outgoing cohort’s Celebration of Learning that morning, it was nice to have my evenings to myself to catch up and breathe.

That said, I also took last weekend to rest and found myself working during my “tiger time” on Sunday night from 11pm to 3am working on final practicum reports as the Practice Evaluator (aka. Faculty Associate) for my little EDUC 491 crew. I was so happy that all of the Coaching Teachers (aka. School Associates) completed their reports and summative evaluation form by Monday/Tuesday this week too. I am so grateful to these practicing teachers and a pleasure to work with them.

This term was a challenge for me, for different reasons, and I feel that I am landing a perfect dismount. I don’t want to jinx myself as I am still in the middle my floor routine and approaching the end of it by next week with my marking and final evaluations. I am so happy that I was able to complete practicum and observe the Teacher Candidates with a quick juggling act between taking the planes, transit, or taxi, and grabbing rides from others or use of my friend’s car. That was a ride!!

Moreover, I was able to make good connections with the Coaching Teachers and Teacher Candidates while at school, via Zoom, or by email. Over the 10-weeks, we were a very cohesive team and aside from giving some formative feedback near the beginning of practicum, each of the Teacher Candidates achieved a clear pass. In my 5-years+ at the university and teaching EDUC 491, that has never happened before (for me). It was truly serendipitous and it will be my last time teaching it.

I would say that EDUC 491 landed with perfect dismount. Maybe in keeping with this metaphor, it’s like landing a the dismount at one of the directional runs of the floor routine. For EDUC 796, albeit considered service and not workload in my case, was something I did not anticipate to be a part of, but took on the student to supervise for portfolio. The process overall was a bit rumbly and tumbly, but that course ended with a perfect dismount as well and that person got a clear pass.

A few days ago, I finished reading the final paper paper and summative journal for one of my graduate level classes. The students also submitted reading annotations and they were amazing!! I love the ongoingness of the work and on the one hand, the outcome was predictable, meaning, we’ve been working on the final product since our first class together with the Location Statement followed by a brief write up on our “proposal for change.” It’s like puzzle pieces perfectly fitting together.

I am still reflecting on my reading. I was left with awe and wonder. These feelings are good, but I assesses the work holistically and I wanted to make sure what I am reporting (and feedback provided) best reflects the work of the learner. This grad class is a sessional position and I’ve taught CALR 526 at St. Mark’s College at UBC since 2015 and I teach it every two years. I really appreciate that they honour and ask the previous course instructor to teach the course before moving it onwards.

Once I have settled with the final marks for CALR 526 and submitted them, then I will assess and evaluate the second graduate course I’m teaching, EDUC 606. This group was more diverse that what I am used to. Most of the students were in the field of education but not K-12 educators. I felt some regret choosing resources that were all K-12 oriented, but that’s the limitations of a course syllabus, but it also reveals my bias and expertise. In the end, I look forward to reading their work.

This weekend will be the joy of watching the 5-minute IGNITE presentations from EDUC 394. This course is one of my favourite to teach in the teacher education program. I call it the sampler course. The course is called “Pedagogy, Curriculum, and Teaching – Theory in Practice.” I look forward to listening to and watching their IGNITEs and I appreciated how they were also using technology on SMS program at the university (i.e., Kaltura Capture on Moodle). I hope it worked!!

What I love about teaching a couple of courses with the same cohort of learners is that I have the opportunity to integrate and create interdisciplinary learning experiences. Part of EDUC 405 is introducing EdTech. The IGNITE presentations are part of this course’s learning and we had done several other learning opportunities this term to connect the two courses. EDUC 405 also concludes my marking for the fall term. Portfolios from both Blocks 1 and 5 in the program.

Big picture… it’s been a very fulsome term, but also the most fruitful. This was my first term teaching at the university that felt very reminiscent of when I taught secondary mathematics in K-12 public schools. I felt like I was in the flow and truly authentic to who I am as a person and educator. It’s much like my “boyfriend” Parker Palmer’s mantra: know the subject matter, know the learners, and know thy self. Thank you to all the students from the Fall 2023 term. I am thankful.

December 3, 2023 – Standing In My Values

Hello December!! The fall term is coming to an end and my last day of teaching is tomorrow. I also have practicum reports to write tonight in preparation for the Celebration of Learning for the outgoing cohort of teacher candidates, and then my last class with the incoming cohort Monday afternoon with a guest speaker from Science World (Vancouver) through Exploration Place in Prince George.

I am learning. Every day is a learning day. My pedagogical journey has evolved over time. I find myself looking at old photos, on Facebook memories or Google photos, and I am reminded of the journey that I am on and how I am transforming with each day, with each moment. My goal has been to slow down this year… and notice. This has been a daunting task and I am appreciating the little things.

Look!! It snowed today and the blue sky peaked through too. (See image above). Much like the ocean, I love the bright blue skies of the central interior in BC. It’s so vast, beautiful, and endless, which situates me and how small I am in this world. They sky, the ocean keeps me humble and help with perspective and what matters. I am brought to full attention to what matters to me and to live my life that way.

Much like my name… I have to make a decision. What do I want to do with my life? Sounds like a light question. For the last couple of months, I have been thinking about how I want to spend my time. What’s really important to me? How do I want to spend the last chapter of my life? What are my values? I feel that for much of my life I was living for someone else, but now I have the opportunity to life for me.

I know that living life for me has always been true, but I led my life trying to meet other people’s expectations and not knowing, trying to please others. In doing so, I was losing myself, my sense of identity, and my sense of self worth. I am rebuilding and have been doing so over the last few years. I am at a place right now where I know who I am and I am learning how to act in ways that are aligned to my values.

With my name, I kept my blended name. On the one hand, it’s my “brand” with respect to my work, but on the other hand, that’s the name of who I am despite what other people want for me (or want for themselves). I don’t have to seek anyone’s approval. I just have to stand in my values. Once I make a decision, I need to keep moving forward. Similarly, I need to make decisions (for my happiness).

Sometimes these decisions may be perceived difficult to make, yet others easy. Either way, what remains consistent is keeping aligned to my values and what’s important to me. I have been assessing aspects of my life based on reciprocity, happiness, and my why. I admit that I live my life through rose-coloured lenses. What I have learned is, I’m ok with that. That’s how I want to live my life. 🙂

November 26, 2023 – Intentional YOLO

If I have to be completely honest, I am likely going to end my weekend with this blog post and yes, I’m in my bed. The bed seems like an appropriate place to work. UGH. I know. Don’t judge. That’s just how things go sometimes. What I am happy about is taking the whole weekend for myself. I needed it. I had such a wonderful weekend that I had to savour every moment. My recent mantra is: Intentional YOLO. Basically, I did ME-TIME and being-a-person-time. It feels really good!!

Admittedly, Friday was a somewhat a write-off so that does not count as part of my weekend. I did an “all nighter” on Thursday night to provide some feedback on this piece of writing that I just mentioned above. It wasn’t really an all-nighter because I had narcoleptic moments throughout the night, but I managed to get the task done before the day started. I had a full day and anticipated the marathon. The day started early and the university and ended late with Friday night curling.

I was so tired. I could not even through my rocks that well because I just wanted to go to bed. Friday was a very long day. That was a lesson learned with the counter example. I need to sleep and rest. Plain and simple. For the last 6-months I’ve been working on the concept of rest and SLOWING DOWN. In the summer, I bought a book from at a conference called “The Slow Professor.” I’ve been working on taking Saturdays to rest. This week I needed Sunday too. No guilt. No shame.

My weekend started on Saturday. I had a full night’s sleep. No sleeping in. I was meeting up with someone at Starbucks. I am so grateful that they were willing to meet at the one near my place. I have no car. It’s still in the shop and meeting up at this coffee shop gives me some freedom too and be able to walk from my place. It was an awesome meeting. I think I met them about 10-years ago in Vancouver. Now, they were in Prince George for the weekend. We had an awesome chat!!

The day evolved into meeting up with another friend for coffee. We got me a new phone case and we chatted at the local Starbucks (again). I am not complaining. I love CONNECTION and another cup of coffee. It was an excellent way to start my weekend with going to one of my favourite places to gab. I ended the day food shopping with the kid and making us dinner. Vi-guy and zucchini stirfry on rice. It’s a bit of my mom’s cooking. I concluded the day by putting up the Christmas tree.

Sunday I slept in. It felt WONDERFUL. I love sleep. I had intentions of jumping into work. Aside from one meeting I had in the morning and another coffee chat with another friend at Starbucks, I spent the day cleaning my place. I needed to do this. It was not extensive cleaning, but a continuation from last night’s Christmas decorations and wanting to tidy up my room, kitchen, and storage space. I think of this cleaning more like a means to ground myself before the busy week begins.

I have a tonne to do and I realize that what I am doing is not a realistic workload that is sustainable. It takes me a whole term to realize that “I can’t wait for term to end” is a viable strategy for management and well-being. I can only do so much and I need to create some boundaries of what’s important to me and stick to it. The litmus for what stays or goes is the level of reciprocity the activity gives me. If I find that I am giving myself away to get something done, that is the first to go.

In this SLOW MOVEMENT, I am becoming more aware of how I want to live my life and where I want to spend my time. I am a hard worker and I have a lot of good intentions. That said, I am learning how to honour, value, and respect myself in the work that I do. Sometimes the answer will have to be NO… and that’s ok. As my kid says, I am easily upsold on things. What I need to do is, do what’s good for me. 🙂 That’s it. I am in service to others. There’s no question of that, but to what end.

November 17, 2023 – Finding Direction

Oh my goodness… I am so grateful today. There is nothing better than someone wanting to and willing to provide some mentorship for the betterment of YOU. It’s amazing to me. The generosity and kindness afforded are unfathomable. I have support from others here and there, but to have someone who I feel like I can be vulnerable with in terms of my work and thinking without conflict of interest or feelings of obligations is amazing. I almost feel that this relationship has been serendipitous and I feel validated and seen with what I need/want to do next.

I am speaking strictly about my career in academia. It’s something that I’ve entered in professionally only a handful of years ago and I floated around for about 8-years before that (aka. an interesting and bewildering career move) and had a fruitful but conflicting career in K-12 education as a high school math teacher. When I look back, everything that I have done in past has been integral to who I am today, but I am baffled as to how I got here and where I want to go to next. What I learned today is, how do I want the next 10-years look to like?

Gosh… planning… LOL. It’s not my strength. My twin-brother got that superpower. Whew… he’s a planner. As for me, I am challenged (again) with grappling with what I want to do as a 5-year plan and then 10-year plan. This call to action (or at least reflection) is career-oriented, but my personal life and wants are also part of the equation. Saying that, my personal life and wants are also integral to my research. I am 100% sure that I do enjoy teaching and learning and that my research agenda is focused on the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning (SoTL). That’s exciting!!

After my conversation today, I have identified my research focus to build my research program on. THAT WAS AMAZING!!! I had some idea of what I wanted to pursue my research agenda on, but I am so muddled in the duty to service. That’s another thing I need to work on (and possibly another blog post). I am learning what it means to be “selfish” (i.e., service to myself and my work) in academia and realizing that my work is important too. This realization has taken some time… in addition to the importance of REST and to resist the “hustle.”

It’s great to have someone who is a mentor/coach and knows the “business” but has no self-interest in helping except for the intrinsic good of helping someone relatively new to the business. For that, I am grateful. I am also grateful for the feedback, the personal narratives, and emotional responses to help me to truly understand the direction I am heading. I AM SUPER EXCITED. I have no words. To know that I can pursue a research program that is dramatically different from my dissertation and truly meaningful to me personally and professionally is a gift.

I would often use the work PIVOT in my practice to help teacher candidates know that when you make a plan or anticipate how the lesson or unit may go, it’s ok to change your mind in the moment. Well, here I am. I am pivoting and I can’t wait. Yes, some things will take some time to transition away from or to re-navigate, but I feel super stoked about taking the next steps in my research program (with the little time I have in my work day) to pursue something that is meaningful for me. Hopefully my work will be meaningful to others, but for now, the focus is on me.

Again, I believe that everything that has happened in this meandering pedagogical journey was meant to happen the way it has to get to where I am today. I feel very privileged to have people around me to help me along the way to figure out what is really important to me (without the feelings of “I should…” or being worried about what others think or do). What I am most excited about is to learn more about my mom, her story, and thus my story as a second-generation Chinese-Canadian. I never thought I would have a career writing… nor in history either… but here I am.

November 10, 2023 – Field Trips with Candidates

I’ve asked the EDUC 405 students to write a blog post on the field trips we are taking during our class. Last month we went to the Prince George Public Library and this month we went to the Two Rivers Art Gallery. I loved going to both places with this crew and the learning intention with each of these community based learning experiences is content creation for their e-Portfolios through blogging, to think about how these places can support their practice, and to consider how these places can be part of their students in K-12 learning experiences. I believe going on field trips, including going outside, must have a clear learning intention.

The public library trip also included a follow-up learning activity for EDUC 394 regarding lesson planning, BC’s Curriculum, and (adapted) lesson plan template. We iterated this lesson plan from a collaborative lesson planning experience to an individual one, then with a self/peer assessment process that resembles BC’s new Student Reporting Policy and creating an assessment plan for the lesson plan. I love making these learning experience attach to the learning intention/target and for each student to sense-make through theory and policy with experiences. I’ve been appreciating the idea of community based learning. Learning is not isolated to a classroom or book, but the community offers lots of expertise and resources.

We visited the “Nonreturnables” and the “Dismantled Worlds” exhibits at the Two Rivers Art Gallery which focused on climate anxiety and climate crisis. I thought it was so amazing for me as someone who is trying to learn more about the issues in another project I’m working on, but the context was very inclusive to the K-12 teacher candidates in all subject areas and interests. I was very pleased with the tour, the experience, and the learning. I also appreciated the post-tour creative session. I am learning more about my creativity and it makes me happy to try each time. It’s getting easier and I have a tonne of fun with with… now. It was good to experience that as well as reconnecting with the gallery. It’s my favourite place.

Similarly, going to the Prince George Public Library (PGPL) is always awesome. I learn something new each time I go. This field trip was my third time visiting and I did not realize that they set out books for book clubs. What a genius idea. I am also enamoured by the place and its openness. The final appeal is the ukulele group. Anyway, I appreciate all of the resources at the public library and the services they offer to K-12 schools. I love the idea of all people have the right to read and the strong endorsement to have K-12 students to get their library card. We did the same endorsement with the teacher candidates. I was very pleased with this trip.

If I do my deepest reflection and gratitude, much of this work started with teacher candidates I was working with in EDUC 491 a couple of years ago when the course subdivided into small working groups. My crew was amazing and so willing to try new things in preparation for their 10-week practicum. They helped me to take risks and try new things such as community based learning experiences. That crew helped me to find the courage to do something different and be OK with that. I have only good feelings for that crew. They offered much feedback and created a learning community that was inclusive, caring, and respectful. I felt so lucky.

I am reminded of the brilliance of my practice and I am learning more and more about what it means to be a learner, deliberate practice, and intentionality. TY.

November 5, 2023 – The Little Things

There is nothing I like more than slowing down. I am learning each day how to do that even though the last few weeks have felt like mayhem. I am not sure if the mayhem has ended but I am taking the time to slow down because that’s what I need. I am learning to be ok with this need to slow down. As my kid would say, I’m a TIME SUCK. Truth… I am savouring time. I love to take my time and be intentional with my actions. I’ve gone through most of my life not doing this and thinking that it was expected of me to in “the race” or I would sometimes call “the hustle.”

Weirdly, I situate myself in this situation, especially as an “academic-wannabe” in higher education. I’m not sure what I am trying to prove and to whom, but now I understand that the person I need to impress and belong to is ME. I had it wrong all along and now I am learning how to make my own path through life and work. I am so grateful to my classes in the last few years for walking beside me during this journey of self-discovery. If I’m really honest with myself, I’ve been on this journey for a long time. I’m just turning the corner… I am moving closer to being human.

It’s been an incredible journey over the last two years, in my practice and life. I’m not even sure why I am separating the two… they are the same thing… it’s just me. Anyway, I’ve been working on my pedagogy and just the other day (November 2) was the first time I felt like my teaching and classroom dynamics felt just as good as it was when I was teaching high school mathematics in public schools. I feel like the two teaching experiences re-connected. That only took 15-years to get here. I was so pleased students took control of their learning in my Thursday’s class.

I am making connections everyday and I am so grateful for the lessons I learn from my friends, colleagues, students… and the kid. Ever since my car accident in the summer, I was trying to operate from a YOLO-mindset and not sweat the little things. I realized that everythingI thought was important was not important. So what is important? It’s me. I don’t say this as if I was a narcissist, but the opposite. What my learning journey is guiding me to is being more attuned to myself, my needs, and my value. I’m important and that’s not a bad thing. I can do what I love.

Hence the image above of my nephew-dog. Do what you love. Enjoy. Savour. I love to teach. I love to learn. I love doing things that I love to do… like sleeping in Saturday mornings, watching Hallmark movies, curling on Friday nights, eating a big breakfast at a hotel restaurant, eating dumplings and yummy congee, being with my family and kid, spending time with friends, collaborating with colleagues, going to craft fairs, loving my mom, and writing and reflecting on my practice. I’m sure there are more things like drinking coffee and eating a bag of chips. LOL.

OK. I can’t forget about my Squishmellow Collection (and Croc footwear). That’s something about me and what I love. I am learning to worry more about what I think and not what others think. As difficult as that can (or could) be, especially in my work, what matters most are my values. Like Kon Mari, does it bring me joy? Cam the Squishmellow brings me joy… along with his other friends at my home. Admittedly, there has been obstacles, struggles, and experiences I wished never happened. But, I do have a lot of joy, wonder, and happiness. Just live your life!!

October 27, 2023 – Finding My Direction

Finally… a slow day. I need one to ground myself, rest, and move at my pace. It feels great. As a consequence, I thought that this would be a perfect time to make a blog post. Often when I write, I have to be in the right place, in mind, body, and spirit. I am in the right place, so here I am. For the last 2-3 weeks, I’ve been in a work-life hustle and this way of being is only enhanced by not having a car during practicum. I am not complaining, but I am more aware of my gratitude and love for people. I would like to share some of my gratitude before I write about my curiosities.

First, I am so grateful for my friend who lent me her car for a week. Honestly, it’s been a brilliant 7-days having her car. She was my last resort. There were no cars to rent, a taxi would have been reasonable, and there is no bus heading out to this practicum placement. I made a cold call before throwing in the white towel and my friend made it possible for me. I went food shopping and recycled, drove my kid to school and work, and used her vehicle to do my job for practicum. AMAZING!! I did not realize how much I do with my car, but I am also grateful for my friend.

Second, I just came from an in-person meeting this morning with a colleague and mentor. I am so grateful for this person to carve out the time for me. How we first met was serendipitous and since then this relationship has only been supportive, kind, and respectful. I feel so reassured by this person’s willingness to listen, give honest feedback, and encouragement to grow and develop. I even slept for 11-hours last night to catch up on my sleep but also to have a meaningful meeting. I wanted to be present and cognitively aware of our conversation. It went great!!

Finally, my students in all of my classes are awesome. They are very forgiving, but also engaging, wonderful, and thought provoking. What more can I ask for? I just love being with those in my undergraduate and graduate classes. Being with them makes me realize that I am doing what I am meant to do, but also where I would like to be. That said, I am very aware of my place in the institution and I have to be very mindful of my next steps. In the meantime, I will enjoy what I am doing. My mind is more open and I am grateful to have a job where I am able to learn more.

I am not lost on the irony or coincidence of my sense of direction, in life, in Italy, and in general… LOL. Although I started the blog post with much gratitude to my friend, colleague, and students, I am brought back to a some learning that is lingering for me as self-assessment and professional learning. I am so struck by the idea of the importance of spatial reasoning for early learners. My twin brother and I took most of our elementary classes separately during K-7 and part of 8-12. He LOVES maps and has an excellence sense of direction and I have NOTHING.

If my friends could keep me on a leash in Italy, the might have strongly considered it. I would get easily lost and disoriented. I embraced my lack of sense of direction as a traveller and I am very grateful for technology and iMaps, I am coming to the realization this phenomena is much more than just not being able to navigate well. I just looked at spatial reasoning test online. I could not do it (at least, not in my head). Finally, reading be an issue and who knows what else, it makes me wonder. How much does my spatial reasoning development impacts my way of being?

I am convinced about the importance of spatial reasoning for reading and other cognitive skills and sense of space and place. I am curious if this reasoning is underdeveloped for me and how I can work on it. During the BCAMT conference, it seemed like it is something that one can develop and I am truly inspired to learn more about in preparation for the numeracy course I’m teaching next term. I am also reminded to complete an ethics application on a self-study. I’m inspired. There is always the work-hustle, but I’m reminded that part of this journey is for me too.

October 22, 2023 – Returning Home

Oh my… I learned a tonne. There is nothing more I love to do is to learn. I don’t consider myself to be an expert, which may seem counterintuitive in my work. I find that the more that I learn, I realize that there is a tonne I don’t know. I love that despite the idea that I am working on my research program and expertise. Learning is the underpinning of what I do and what I love to do. I won’t deny that.

Friday, October 20th was the Provincial Professional Development Day in BC. I was presenting at the BCAccess & BC People First AdvoCon2023 Conference on Saturday through my work with IPE/BC on Saturday and I was very intentional about going to a provincial conference for my learning. I did not want to present. I wanted to be the learner and enjoy the conference. I chose to go to BCAMT.

BCAMT is the BC Association of Mathematics Teachers and the Fall Conference 2023 was held in Surrey, BC at Gilford Park Secondary School. Next term I am going to teach the Numeracy portion of the EDUC 400 course to elementary education teacher candidates and wanted to learn more about it. I attended 3 workshops in K-7. Ahhh… I learned a tonne and loved every session I attended.

Whew. I walked away with a tonne of resources, ideas, and research supporting this work. I also learned something about myself and thinking about spatial reasoning and awareness. The more I listened to the speaker in one workshop, I realized that this was important to do with “the littles” but also it might have been something underdeveloped in me as a child, now adult. Numeracy is important.

I had a chance to see so many familiar faces from the Math Education world, but also meet new people. It was like a reunion. It was more like RETURNING HOME. Going to this conference was more about my professional learning, but it was also about connection and community. In a past life, I was a secondary mathematics teacher. At another conference, my fire was stoked. At BCAMT, it was reignited.

I am reminded how much I love teaching mathematics. I also love the leadership of folks presenting and running the conference. And, I appreciated the passion and deep desire to make mathematics accessible and enjoyable. This year’s theme for the conference was MATHEMATICS IS RELATIONAL. I could not agree more. We need to bring the humanity, relevance, and joy for mathematics back in schools.

Next term is going to be AMAZING. It will be the first time to teach this course (and might be my last time if the program updates and revises the program), but I am very stoked about delving in deeper to the idea of numeracy and professional development within the teacher education program and beyond. I am excited. I almost thought about pursuing an MSc or PhD degree in mathematics education.

That might be getting ahead of myself, but it might be a possibility. Who knows? What I do know is, being a part of professional development as a learner is a joy. My next step is to find some Cuisenaire Rods for my numeracy class as well as other manipulatives to engage in mathematics for elementary teachers that is fun, engaging, and meaningful. We teach how we learned. Damn. We will be learning.

October 15, 2023 – Shifting Body and Mind

Even with this weekly blog post, I have pivoted (i.e., overdue on writing my weekly blog and now it’s 1:51 am… I’ve just plowed through my emails, why not take a moment to catch up on my blogging). Pivoting is not just adapting to the situation in terms of shifting times or doing something different, but sometimes it’s about shifting your mindset. My class witnesses me pivot (often) with my teaching. Sometimes I adapt because we are taking more time than expected. Sometimes I change what we are learning in terms of sequence or approach. Other times, like last week, had to cancel my class and go asynchronous because I was out of town.

I am grateful that my class is pivoting with me and I hope I am modelling adaptive expertise. In class, I often speak of “Christine 1” who is “teacher Christine” and of “Christine 2” who is “Christine’s inner thoughts.” Sometimes “Christine 3” shows up unexpectedly who is “Christine on a soap box.” I have a few things that I am passionate about in education and sometimes it does get the best of me. In a way, I guess that I am also pivoting in these three mindsets, for example, in my class to reveal the front-stage of teaching, the back-stage of teaching, and my values. I will say, I am enjoying this year’s cohorts and teaching the combined group. It’s fun!!!

As mentioned, last week I went out of town to Brandon, MB to Brandon University to attend the 2023 Canadian Association for Teacher Education (CATE) Working Conference. The few days were filled with collaborative approaches and informative sessions to provide feedback on our writing about teacher leadership. When you receive formative feedback, you are pivoting… to consider new ideas, different thoughts and theories, and different authors to support your writing (or change it). I appreciated TEAM LIGHT GREEN. It was a diverse group but they had contributed a lot of great ideas and I hope I provided some for them as well.

I travelled to Brandon with my colleague to this event and together we toured the city. We visited the tourist bureau, the river, the buffalo jump, cemetery, and local cafe and shop. I bought a purse/bag and a pair of handmade moccasins. It was a good trip. I learned a lot and wished that higher education could be like this all of the time. I met some wonderful people whom I hope I stay in touch with or see again. On my way home, my kid called me at the airport. She screamed. Her car was vandalized. It was horrible. I could not do anything. Luckily, she called her friend and she helped along with her dad. I am so grateful for that along with a couple of other people who helped to move the car to the auto body shop.

Pivoting.

My spirit quickly shifted from joy to frustration. The mama-bear in me wanted to not do nice things to the people who were so cruel and malicious to do such a hateful and selfish act. I can attribute this horrible act to desperate times, but my kid did not have to be a victim or traumatized due to someone else’s greed. To top it off, my third flight out of three to return back home was delayed. I guess for a good reason. The de-icer was not working so we changed planes. Safety first. I was glad to make it home to see my kid and I am thankful to her friend who lent her car to my kid so that she could pick me up from the airport. Damn. My kid is strong.

My first instinct was to buy a place with a two-car garage. With a good night’s sleep, that thought shifted into reality. A long story made short, it was confirmed that my position at the university would not be permanent. In many ways I knew that (and my friends had also said that), but to have it verified brings a sense of calm knowing that my trajectory is heading elsewhere and to prepare for it. So, I’m not buy a place with a 2-car garage, but I will do my best to do the best I can do each day. Sometimes my best will vary from day to day, but I am trying my best. Admittedly, it’s another pivot and this redirection focuses on what’s best for me.

I am left with a reflective state of mind… hence the weekly blog. And it also comes from inspiration, meaning I was suppose to write this blog post at this very time. I am proud of what I have accomplished and that’s all that matters. I will continue to learn, connect with others, and have fun. I am driven to be happy and experience joy. I love the work that I do and the status, rank, or promotion is secondary. I hope my classes are enjoying the work that I am doing. It’s not perfect, but it is not meant to be perfect. It’s suppose to be messy and meandering. Pivoting is a way of being to ensure that I am nimble and reflexive to advance in the right direction.