December 3, 2023 – Standing In My Values

Hello December!! The fall term is coming to an end and my last day of teaching is tomorrow. I also have practicum reports to write tonight in preparation for the Celebration of Learning for the outgoing cohort of teacher candidates, and then my last class with the incoming cohort Monday afternoon with a guest speaker from Science World (Vancouver) through Exploration Place in Prince George.

I am learning. Every day is a learning day. My pedagogical journey has evolved over time. I find myself looking at old photos, on Facebook memories or Google photos, and I am reminded of the journey that I am on and how I am transforming with each day, with each moment. My goal has been to slow down this year… and notice. This has been a daunting task and I am appreciating the little things.

Look!! It snowed today and the blue sky peaked through too. (See image above). Much like the ocean, I love the bright blue skies of the central interior in BC. It’s so vast, beautiful, and endless, which situates me and how small I am in this world. They sky, the ocean keeps me humble and help with perspective and what matters. I am brought to full attention to what matters to me and to live my life that way.

Much like my name… I have to make a decision. What do I want to do with my life? Sounds like a light question. For the last couple of months, I have been thinking about how I want to spend my time. What’s really important to me? How do I want to spend the last chapter of my life? What are my values? I feel that for much of my life I was living for someone else, but now I have the opportunity to life for me.

I know that living life for me has always been true, but I led my life trying to meet other people’s expectations and not knowing, trying to please others. In doing so, I was losing myself, my sense of identity, and my sense of self worth. I am rebuilding and have been doing so over the last few years. I am at a place right now where I know who I am and I am learning how to act in ways that are aligned to my values.

With my name, I kept my blended name. On the one hand, it’s my “brand” with respect to my work, but on the other hand, that’s the name of who I am despite what other people want for me (or want for themselves). I don’t have to seek anyone’s approval. I just have to stand in my values. Once I make a decision, I need to keep moving forward. Similarly, I need to make decisions (for my happiness).

Sometimes these decisions may be perceived difficult to make, yet others easy. Either way, what remains consistent is keeping aligned to my values and what’s important to me. I have been assessing aspects of my life based on reciprocity, happiness, and my why. I admit that I live my life through rose-coloured lenses. What I have learned is, I’m ok with that. That’s how I want to live my life. 🙂