April 14, 2024 – I am a slow reader.

Here is some beautiful irony… YOU TEACH WHO YOU ARE (Palmer, 1997). How my classes are recently designed is about knowing who you are. Self-knowledge. Regardless of what class I teach… assessment, numeracy, theory to practice, leadership, and intro. to education… I am always encouraging students to know who they are to understand their motivation, values, and beliefs. Guess what I am doing? I am in constant investigation of who I am as a second-generation Chinese-Canadian, educator, mother, sister, child, and friend. How to these roles and sense of self influence my values and beliefs as an educator, citizen, and human being?

I am brought to a few of life’s metaphors to make sense of the world and this journey into exploring the inner landscape of “Dr. Christine Ho Younghusband”… THE PERFECT CURLING SHOT, beading (or weaving), and the canoe experience. All three metaphors, manifested as lived experiences, each humble me to learn something about life and myself. I was just chatting with my supervisor and next steps in my research program. I was vulnerable and open to feedback. I was very appreciative of the conversation. It felt a moment of risk vs. reward. In the end, when you are open to the experience, the outcome will work out as intended.

Also, part of knowing they self, you need to know your strengths and stretches. In this stage of my pedagogical journey or third chapter of my life, I am continuously wondering how I want to spend my last years. What brings me joy? This year’s one-word is HAPPY. What I am learning is, this is one of my non-negotiable principles that will guide my decision-making and direction through life. What makes me happy? Does this make me feel happy? Am I happy? It seems to be serving an excellent litmus to who I want to move through the world… with joy… along with authenticity, wholeheartedness, and the simple things I love so much.

My strengths and deepest desire for self and others is community, connection, and collaboration. I love being with others. I am an extrovert. My stretch is reading and writing. LOL. What was I thinking? I’m in an occupation that is consumed by reading and writing. Academia. Hmm… this thought needs unpacking. I started blogging to build my confidence and competence in my writing. The unexpected consequence of the act of writing is that the writing process helps me to think. I also enjoy blogging because it feels like there is some “high stakes” in writing in a public blog. So, whatever I write or share must be something I am willing to share.

I would say that my confidence and competence for writing is much better. I love the weekly blog. I love to reflect on my learning. I have found the right pace for me to reflect on my practice and learning. I look forward to blogging and I am feeling like my next step is with academic writing. I’ve done some writing, but this term coming up, it will be time to dig in, jump in, and commit to following through. Thinking about this reminds me of the early beginnings of my dissertation and autodidactism. There is something about learning for and by yourself to succeed. Part of this learning methodology is also asking for informal help and guidance.

As you can see with the image above, it’s one of my pieces from one of the beading classes I took this term. I wanted to engage in something for myself. Beading has been a humbling and rewarding learning experience. I am likely going to write about it in parallel with what it’s like to write for academia. What I can say is, with each piece or project, I can see that I am getting a bit better at it and my skills will develop over time with deliberate practice. Now to my kryptonite…. reading. Now at the end of term, as much as I like my students to write, I have to read their work. I loved what I’ve read so far, but I’m a slow reader. That’s it. I’m slow at reading.

There… I’ve said it. That said, I’m slow at beading too. With deliberate practice, I will develop my reading skills over time. I wished that I had the joy of reading like many of my peers do, but it’s something that I am learning to love. I am a much better reader now than what I was when I was in K-12 or university. I just need to remember about “learning takes patience and time.” I will get to my reading and I can’t be so self-conscious or critical of my speed of reading and compare myself with others. I heard that by comparing yourself with others is one way to kill one’s joy. I can’t do that. And, I cannot worry about what others think. Just keep trying.