I know that I was counting weeks, like I did during my #pandemicreflections on my previous website and this one. The blog series was for 164 weeks (even though I cheated a bit at the very end by combining 4 blog posts into one). Of course it’s ok to bend the rules from time to time and maintaining a weekly blog works for my rate of pace for reflection and writing. That said, I do have these moments when I feel inspired to reflect. The writing process helps me to sense-make and wonder.
What I have been fascinated by the blogging process is that often what I had intended to write would re-navigate into something else. I was reminded of that notion when I had a meeting this morning with a graduate student and listening to them about the pages they have made for their portfolio as a capstone for their program. It’s been an amazing journey working with them. I love being a coach to help them to reflect, self-actualize, and synthesize their learning and what’s next.
I am reflecting on the value of numbering off my blog posts after concluding my pandemic reflection series. That series was a source of entertainment for me thinking that it would conclude after 10-weeks or so. The pandemic did not “end” for another 150 weeks and it ended up being a weekly blog post reflection about what’s important to me. I was experiencing many life changes and the pandemic offered an opportunity to pause and reflect on the meaning of life and its so what.
Although I have opted to restart a new weekly blog series and numbering off each week, I have not determined the intended end date. I have ended my #patiopic from Twitter today. Again, this daily Twitter post was a source of entertainment for me and I was mildly surprised to learn that folks were following it on their Twitter feed. The kind words and surprise comments that they know me from my daily #patiopic, was heartwarming and I’m pleased that others recognize its joy.
I’m at a place right now where I feel that I need to reassess what I am really doing. Over and over again, I am reminded that I need to think about what’s best for me. It startles me each time someone brings that to my attention because I have been so oriented on the idea of serving others and not prioritizing my needs or values. I wanted this weekly blog series to be about GRATITUDE but I’m realizing its more than being appreciated for what I have, but it can also include where I want to be.
Part of my why is focused on empowering, enabling, and helping others, but in doing so, I’m not empowering, enabling, or helping myself. I put my needs aside. I am reminded by the lessons my mom has been trying to share with me, even to her last days of life. I was talking about her with one of my high school friends during my trip to Victoria, BC. She asked me what the lesson was. It’s understanding my value. My ideas and thinking are different, but it does not make me less than.
Stepping away from things to invite other things in to my life is what I am learning to do. I can only speak my truth and sometimes that might be feel isolating and lonely. What I do know is, I have folks who have my back and find solace in that. I might continue my blogging experience but maybe it’s not going to be numbered off. It might just go back to my original framework of BEING INSPIRED or maybe it might be about the new journey I am about to embark on. Either way, it’s all good.
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