Author: christine (Page 8 of 11)

Here’s an extra blog post. I’ve been sick for the last 10-days or so and I’m not yet 100%, but I’m working on it. I have not left home, really, and I’ve been playing the fridge/freezer game as well. I love playing the game. I forces you to be creative with what you have (but also throw out all of the food that’s rotten or expired). Although I’ve been sick, it’s been a good way to slow down and recalibrate.

I had the hankering to blog again. I used to blog when I was inspired or wanted to, but the weekly created a good framework during the #pandemicreflections. That blog series got ridiculous when I thought it would be a dozen blogs, not 160. Now I’m thinking what the weekly tally is for? My last blog series ended when I came back from Italy. Maybe, this new blog series will end when I go back to Italy.

My friends and I were just chatting on FB Messenger with hopes and dreams for our “Turin 2025” trip and fantasies about co-owning a place in Verona. Ahhh… Dare to dream. Looking at properties in Italy together was so much better than my nightly scroll through MLS Prince George. It was so dreamy. It never hurts to have goals, but I’m also open to travel and going to places to learn and meet people.

This long weekend had been an excellent time to be grateful. First, I am very grateful for my health and I am determined not to take it for granted. Being sick has not been a great experience. I didn’t even bother testing if I had COVID. Based on Google, I had COVID and I have no idea where and when I got it. You cannot put your guard down. Oddly, being sick forced me to slow down and prioritize my time.

Second, I am grateful for my life. I have a place to live, I live with my kid, and I have a job I enjoy. I am always learning. It’s been a journey to get where I am today. I am often humbled and grateful for my friends and family for being there me. I feel that the journey is about feeling and being happy. I’m not sure what that exactly means, but I’m enjoying the path that I’m on now. The messiness was somehow worth it.

Finally, I am grateful for meandering through life. I am a bit slow, but I am ok with that. SLOW is not a bad thing. It’s my pace. I am learning about what brings me joy. I feel so thankful to my mentors. They are helping me to navigate the academia world and to figure out my research program. Whatever I am engaged in should be my passion and to focus on the process, not the outcome. Rejection is common.

I live a privileged life. I am so grateful to my parents who immigrated into Canada from Hong Kong. Although I am coming to terms with my ethnic identity as a second-generation Chinese Canadian and would like to learn more about my heritage as I embark on writing about book about my mom, I am so grateful for the sacrifices they have made to me and my siblings so that we can life a good life.

I miss my mom greatly and one of the things she said while I was taking care of her during her last 20-days was, “I’m missing out on my golden years.” My mom was 80. During the 20-days, I watched the 5-stages of grief with my mother. She was an amazing woman. You can’t play it safe all of the time and taking risks is part of the journey. My mom was a powerful person. She was a hard worker. I miss her much.

I’m guessing why I am brought to this blog post is to realize that maybe my mom and my journey into book writing will be part of blogging as well as developing my research program. Because I’m not tenure-track, I am really working at my own pace and my research is really just for me, which I would in turn share with others. This aha brings me a lot of solace. I am finally where I want to be. I am grateful.

Week 7 – July 1, 2023 – A New Perspective

Hello to a new month. It’s July 1st and I am reminding myself that this new blog series is about GRATITUDE. When I started blogging years ago, it was with the intention of practicing how to write, expressing my feelings, and a way to navigate life. It was “My Pedagogical Journey.” I left teaching at that time and life got messy. I wondered if it would have been better to stay the course, but I was so unhappy.

In my meanderings to figure things out, I became a school trustee, finished my doctorate, and returned to teaching in higher education. Of course, there were many details in between, but that’s the Cole’s notes of my career since teaching in K-12. Joining the university has been a bit messy as well. Too many details to mention, but then my blog evolved into “Pandemic Reflections” during Covid19.

Apparently, the pandemic has ended but ironically I sit in my LazyBoy chair writing the blog post on a week’s long recovery from COVID-19 (I believe). It’s been awful, but I managed to continue to work and meet online. You’ve got to love technology. I’ve had some wonderful meetings with folks who mentor, collaborate, and meet. Anyway, I’m left with the lingering message of “It’s a process.” For this, I’m grateful.

I feel that the meandering has minimized in the macro and I’m starting to meander in the micro. My pandemic reflections spent most of my time wondering about what’s important to me. I think that I’m closer to that then I have ever been and I feel closer to myself than I ever have. It feels good. I am trying to turn “the ship” around and make choices that are more aligned to who I am and what I love to do.

This week as a first week for me to focus on my research (and not teaching). Time spent was taken with intentionality and deliberate action. I’m learning how to do make these decisions for myself. I cannot not be everywhere all at once and I have nothing to prove. I’m very grateful to return back to teaching since my experience in K-12 and what I am learning to do is to be an academic and do some research.

Research is an integral part of any professor’s work, but I’m term faculty, so my primary obligation is teaching and service. Research is not expected in my current position, but I am learning at my own pace as to what research looks like for me and what my research program will look like. It’s evolving and I am learning how to be patient (with myself and the process). I am grateful to those who mentor me.

I met with a mentor this week and I cannot believe how valuable it has been to have a conversation with this person. Generous, kind, and compassionate. Just a few words describe this person. I appreciate the honesty, encouragement, and articulation of how things are going or how things should be. It’s incredible. The conversation changed my perspective. I can see that THIS WILL BE A PROCESS.

From lofty targets and goals to next steps and realizing the worthwhileness of the learning process makes this new way of being more reasonable and doable. I know that there has been many people guiding me (and others challenging me in ways that question my values and beliefs). It takes time to hear what you need to hear. This week, I can see what I need to do to move forward and I’m excited to do so.

Week 6 – June 24, 2023 – Reassessing Goals

Oh boy… this week as a doozy, but I think I’ve landed on my feet (for now). Nothing spectacular, but it was the moment when I what I have known intuitively and then cognitively reached my heart. It’s like hitting the bottom. I had a few tears. It’s ok. People were telling me the truth over time and others are lending a helping hand. To those people, thank you. I know that you are looking for me and have my best interest at heart. I am so grateful to you all. I don’t know why it has taken me this long to realize the truth. I guess I wanted something so bad that’s not meant to be.

Anyway, what I’ve also learned is, when you hit the bottom, all you have is to go up. I don’t want to seem like a softy or weak. I guess my “bubble way of being” can be too idealistic and dreamy. People tap on my bubble and at one time I let too many people into my bubble. At one time, I gave up my bubble to make into something else that wasn’t me. I lost myself. I had to make decisions that were disruptive and traumatizing in many ways to save myself. I’ve spent the last few years rebuilding my bubble and it’s often put to the test. Last week was a moment and affirming.

Now, I’m bouncing back and understanding my few freedom and autonomy. I can make choices and I don’t have to be chasing what other people are chasing. What I need to focus on (again) is what’s important to me. This might be the second or third iteration of my #pedagogicaljourney. I spent my entire #pandemicreflections (most found on my other website/blog) on figuring out what’s important to me. This time, I’m looking at bit closer. I need to listen to myself and do what’s right. i am asking for help. I am grateful for the generosity of others and their guidance.

The week ended with the department retreat and we spent the day on the land. The day unfolded exactly as it should and I had moments to reflect on and loved lots of what the elders, educators, and teacher candidates had to share. I should not forget the land. In moments of uncertainty and despair, I always to to the water for some solace. I did this as kid in Prince Rupert, as a young adult on the Sunshine Coast, and now where I am… in Prince George. Today, I go to the river. The water speaks to me in ways that is soothing, calming, and soul-nourishing.

The day ended at the park with a guest speaker who spoke about her sister, health-care, and CONSCIOUS DISRUPTION. The story involved the idea of taking a situation or belief, hold it, and disrupt it. In doing so, you had lift the learner. Oh my gosh. The story spoke to my spirit. It was something that I was hoping to hear at the retreat as an educator, but it was also a message for me and my soul. I needed to hear this message and experience this day the way it was. I return back to understanding my value, stand in my values, and continue to work in my values.

The week started with tears, but ended with solace, sunshine, and a smile. 🙂

Week 5 – June 18, 2023 – The Seasons

Look at this photo. How gorgeous is this image? I just love it for so many reasons. We are planning for the next two years using Leona Prince’s seasonal rounds as a framework. We were moving around in a circle near the trees thinking about each season, what we do in Koh Learning, and what do we want to see or do next. I really enjoyed this activity and I am going to take this planning activity into my practice.

This photo is a beautiful metaphor of what is. The seasons are changing. I can’t wait. EDUC 490 practicum ended a week ago and I’ve just finished writing the reports. I only have a few signatures to acquire and I can move onto the next part of my work… reading, writing, and research. I want to be learning. I feel privileged to be in a position to learn. That’s all I want to do… and then, write about it. 🙂

Admittedly, it’s been a messy transition into the third season of my life, but I am so grateful to be here. I am learning more about myself and staying true to myself. I’ve encountered several conversations with folks I hold in high regard and trust. They are truth-tellers and they affirm some held beliefs that I wished were not true, but they are also telling me that what I am doing is right and stay the course.

Life, whether it be personal or professional, is never meant to be easy, but it’s what you do with life’s challenges is what matters. I am learning to trust myself. I’ve been faced with a few challenges and I am realizing what I am capable of and what I truly value. I go back to MY WHY and I am encouraged to keep moving forward and to have my voice despite the setbacks, rejections, or perceived negativity.

I am always learning. I am learning more about myself. And, I am learning how to slow down. I can get overwhelmed, but what I am understanding is, it’s one step at a time. Get back up and try again. I can do this. Be patient and kind with yourself. Imagine. Believe. Inspire. Be inspired. l can only be myself. That’s it. No one else. I create my path and I need to listen to myself to stay happy and joyful. Just be me.

Week 4 – June 12, 2023 – Being Present

It feels good to catch up. I feel rested and present. I needed time to gather myself and I have not quite felt 100% since returning from Italy. Returning to work and the last 6-weeks past by like a whirlwind. I have report to write as well as grants and many, many other things to attend to with respect to my research program, but I am very grateful to feel like I am can a breath, reflect, and blog once again.

I am catching up with my blogging and anticipate to blog in the next handful of days but I’ve been wanted to get to this place of being to consider what I have learned and how I can move forward. I am learning that blogging on weekends when I’m out of town is not possible, so Tuesdays seems like a reasonable day. Look at this photo!!! It’s just gorgeous. I feel very connected to the water.

My friend and I went camping this weekend with UNBC RecOrg. She had a trailer and we have not had many opportunities lately to connect. For me, it was a time to SLOW DOWN (even though I did some work on Saturday). It was a fun event. Apparently, I was the only faculty member attending. That’s OK. I enjoyed meeting new people, grateful to the organizers, and loved the potluck (aka. the brisket).

Practicum has finished last week and I should be writing final reports while catching up with so many things I need to catch up on and things put on hold. One of things I wanted to return back to was my blog. I am left thinking after many conversations and moments with self to reflect on my work, my values, and my life. I can’t afford to not trust myself and stand tall in my position and my location.

I am left with appreciating the little things and celebrating the small victories, like enjoying the sunset, the sound of the rushing water, and playing board games with friends (even though I lost a couple of times and was being eaten by mosquitoes). I appreciate that I have a warm and safe place to live, I love living and being with my kid, and I enjoy the work I do as it contributes to K-12 and teacher education.

I have a lot to be grateful for and I am learning how to be more resilient and dare I say, independent. As I look at myself, I am driven by being in community, to have connections, and to collaborate with others to co-construct good things together. I appreciate all of that, but what I am also learning about is how to appreciate being alone, to feel confident in my work, and to have the strength to move forward.

The message I just shared with a friend and colleague the other day is, when you are rejected or you experienced failure, it’s not the moment to quit or give up. It’s telling you that this is not the right way to go. There’s another door that’s open and you’re job is to find it. I am reminded of this and it’s not to dwell on what could have been or what you want things to be, but other opportunities to consider.

In the meantime, focus on what’s going well. That’s telling you one thing, but also pay attention to what’s not going well. It’s telling you the same story. The goal is to take a few steps back to look at the big picture to navigate next steps. Be clear about your goal. If a rock gets in your way, work around it. Don’t fight it. This is your journey to explore and wonder about. Enjoy. Learn. And, take a deep breath.

Week 3 – June 6, 2023 – So much happened

Welcome back to my weekly blog. I’m a week late and plan to write another one soon after this one. So much has happened since my last blog post and it seems like Tuesdays might be the new day for me to blog and reflect. In my former pandemic reflection blog series, I found myself blogging on Saturdays or Sundays. This pace is a nice change in my way of being, in particular with my blogging and reflections.

What a beautiful picture!!! I just love it. I was on a water taxi on Lake Ontario. It was my first time. I’ve been to Toronto a handful of times but this was the first time I was travelling for work to Congress 2023. This year, the conference was in Toronto at York University. By chance, my brother was also in Toronto for business and I spent the first night visiting with one of my mom’s sisters (aka. my aunt).

I had such a good time hanging out with my twin bro and getting to know my aunt better. It’s difference when I’m not with my family or the child of the bunch. We even had a lunch gathering with some of my cousins, aunt, and uncle. That was fun too. We had a “chicken challenge” between Church’s Chicken and Popeyes. They were distinctively different in taste and texture. Admittedly, I like KFC a bit more.

Thank goodness for my brother. I am learning more about myself in this chapter of my life. It’s clear to me that I am directionless and have no sense of direction. Yes. That means the same thing. Do you see what I mean? LOL. My brother sent me a random text asking me if I’d like him to meet me at the airport. Of course I said yes. I was busy finishing up work and in the middle of practicum. I needed the help.

He met me at the airport and there was NO WAY I was going to find my way out of there without him. Sounds sad. I would have taken the cab. LOL. He also offered to take me to York University via the subway. Yes please!!! Got there. Late. But, it was for the best. I needed to rest. And yes, returning back to residence for a place to stay and save a few dollars was a bit alarming. I was brought back to first year.

I’ve really enjoyed Congress 2023. This was my first CSSE event in person and I felt like it was an opportunity to network, learn new ideas, and present ideas. I presented twice at Congress, once at CATE with a former student in the teacher education program to discuss our ethnic identity and once at OTESSA to share how e-portfolios were implemented in the B.Ed. program redesign at UNBC.

During this conference, I took moments to step out of my comfort zone. First, I presented at this national conference in person. Second, I went to the CATE dinner and took the subway. Luckily, I bumped into a few familiar faces to find my way to the restaurant. Finally, I took the subway again to catch the end of a Blue Jays game. That was super fun. I met some amazing people and learned lots.

As I begin to reflect, I am learning that I’m not alone. I am supported by many people and it’s for me to open the doors (or find the window). I am working at my own pace and I am living my best life. Although I did not mean to speak up during the EDID Town Hall in the way that I did, I feel that it provoked others and ignited or provided voice to marginalized or racialized people that needed to be heard.

A memorable week at Congress 2023, which was in the middle of the 4-week practicum. I am supervising 7 teacher candidates and in the end, no matter how uncertain or muddy the situation was, the teacher candidates were learning a tonne and I am very appreciative of the coaching teachers who supported them. The coaching teachers were so amazing and I am so grateful to work with them.

Again, this new blog series is about gratitude. There are always obstacles but I can overcome. What I am learning is, to believe in myself, to understand what I am doing has purpose and is creating change, and to know that I am able to succeed. I am super happy (overall), I love being with my kid and help her into adulthood, and I am learning. That’s what matters. Sometimes it’s humbling, but I am learning.

Thank you folks from NOIIE (Networks of Inquiry and Indigenous Education) for the invitation to “present” at the NOIIE Annual Conference on May 12, 2023.

It was an asynchronous presentation and I was the first speaker of four for the inaugural NETWORK READS initiative at NOIIE. I had the pleasure and honour of introducing Leona Prince’s and Carla Prince’s book, “Be a Good Ancestor.”

You can watch my (approximately) 4-minute video of my book review and inquiry. What a wonderful initiative at NOIIE but also a learning opportunity for me to create a video, share my BIG HEAD after 50-takes, and reflect on this book

If you are interested in watching this video, I have included the YouTube link below for your entertainment or reference. This is also my EDUC 405 and 796 WordPress site as one of the course instructors. It’s an opportunity to model.

HINT: Include tweets or YouTube links as part of your e-Portfolio. Your accomplishments, acknowledgements, or celebrations can be articulated as a blog post or webpage. Either way, reflect on your learning and profession practice.

Thank you for the invitation. The learning extended beyond the book review. With much gratitude. Thanks for thinking of me to be part of this learning experience.

RELEASED on May 19, 2023 to acknowledge Asian Heritage Month.
(It’s also my dad’s birthday. Happy 85th Birthday, dad. This is for you.)

https://www2.unbc.ca/newsroom/unbc-stories/learning-embrace-identity

Week 2 – May 20, 2023 – Focus on Learning

Here’s a gorgeous picture of the Colosseum in Rome. You can get a sense of the enormity of this physical structure. My friends and I went here as part of our trip to Italy in 2023. I took many pictures of places like this in Italy, as you can imagine. If anything, I found the trip to Italy to be a learning experience that goes beyond seeing different places, meeting new people, and immersing into the culture.

This was the first trip I took to Europe and with folks where were not family members. I’ve only travel abroad once and that was a trip to Hong Kong for a family reunion. I did travel to Hawaii a couple of times for a conference. Does that count? Nonetheless, going on this trip served as a moment to celebrate self and independence. I’ve never done something so self-indulgent and for myself.

We travelled to three different places in Italy. We went to Verona, Piedmont, and Rome. Thank you to my friends who completely planned this trip. The one friend who was celebrating her 50th birthday organized the travel plans and itinerary, the other (new) friend organized housing. My role in the trip was purely for real-time entertainment and someone to keep track of. I have no sense of direction.

Anyway, our first stop was in Verona. We stayed there for 5-days in a B&B. We walked around to different places, ate great food, and connected with the local people. We just loved Verona and we plan to return to this beautiful city. The bridges, the restaurants, and the local landmarks made this a memorable experience to transition us well to Italy life, slowdown, and enjoy. We did!!

The Verona stay also served as a landing place. The B&B was so beautiful. I feel like that it’s almost foreshadowing my future. I would love to live in a place like this. It was a great place to rest and land while we ventured off to places like Venice and Porto di Desenzano. We travelled to these places by train, but we could not go to Florence due to a train accident the day before and the trains were all full.

Our next destination was to Castello di Montalero (aka. castle in Italy) where we had cooking classes and visited many local vineyards, farms, and places to eat. I just loved this experience and the DREAM devised by my 2-friends 23-years ago as they imagined the “dream vacation” to Italy and make pasta over a crab dinner with a side of butter and a can of Coke in Port Simpson, BC. How could I not join?

After 5 amazing days in the castle and meeting some incredible people from the UK, Ireland, and USA, as well as the family and folks who own and run the castle, we were off to Rome. I mean, this is suppose to be a bucket list travel experience. I can see how it could be and everything is extraordinary big. The scale of things are unimaginable, like the Colosseum, as well as the costs, the hustle, and the people.

Admittedly, going to Rome was not my favourite place to visit in comparison to Verona and Piedmont. I had great food, saw some awesome places, and met some nice people, and have memories I will never forget from Rome, I don’t think I’ll go back. It was a beautiful COUNTER EXAMPLE of what I do value and appreciate. I enjoy the simple things, a slower way of life. Most of all, I enjoyed the people.

Week 1 – May 15, 2023 – Starting All Over Again

A new beginning. I welcome this moment. I spent many years in my adult life numb and thinking that I am doing what I was suppose to be doing. The next chapter was “My Pedagogical Journey.” It was the first time I took to find myself. I left my K-12 teaching position, I was working on my doctorate, and I was a mom. I experienced many changes during that time. I was a school trustee, I finished my doctorate, and my mom passed away. Soon after, I got a term position to teach at a university in Northern BC, I left my family, and I fell into a work culture I was not familiar with.

After my first year, I was not sure if I wanted to come back. I renewed my contract but that year the faculty association went on strike, we quickly pivoted to remote learning, and my marriage ended. During the pandemic, I engaged in a weekly blog starting at https://christineyounghusband.com/ and concluding on this website. The weekly blog started as something to entertain myself and work on my writing skills, but after 164 weeks, the reflective blog became more of a cognitive routine. During this blog, I wrote many posts contemplating and wondering about what’s important to me. Many ups and downs, but here we are again at a new beginning.

Although I did not write the 4 remaining blogs posts to conclude the “Pandemic Reflections” due to my absence during my Italy trip and wrote a summative blog instead, I felt compelled to come back to my blog to reflect the week and maybe grieve the end of one chapter and welcome a new one. I just listened to a podcast episode with Jane Fonda on Armchair Expert and the promises she made on the last chapter of her life at 60, I am inspired to do the same as I approach 60 as well. I have a few years, but I am very aware of the next chapter of my life and how do I want to live my third chapter. I am finally arriving and I’m not going to waste it.

I have learned many lessons over 5-decades, 5-years, 5-months, and 5-days. I am so grateful to have experienced Italy with two amazing people for two weeks. I never laughed so hard. It was my first time to travel abroad without family. I am learning about my independence, my ego, and my capacity. Humbling, for sure, but we are already planning TURIN 2025. We are going back. I can’t wait. And, I am committed to training (for the “hike” and) for a 10K run (or maybe half marathon). I need a life change even though my life has been changing. The difference is, I want to make these choices because I want to make these choices. That’s it. 🙂

The last year with teacher candidates has been absolutely amazing. It was my small crew from EDUC 490 and EDUC 491 and the elementary cohort the year following. I had no idea what was possible. They taught me what was possible. I will cherish their courage, kindness, and honesty. It’s tough to describe when you are working with a group and they are walking WITH you (i.e., beside me). I feel honoured and overwhelmed by your generosity and your gifts. You make me very hopeful and excited for the students in K-12. They will be so lucky to have you as their teacher. I feel so lucky to have you as my teacher. Thank you so much!!!

And the photo above… aka. being with my kid. I am so grateful to live with my kid over the last 2-years. The three years prior were chaos, traumatizing, and broken. We took our time together to heal, love, and learn. She just finished her first year in the nursing program. She’s becoming to be an amazing adult. She’s independent. She’s generous, kind, and loving. Yesterday during Mother’s Day was awesome. She treated me like a Queen. “What do you want to do today, Mom?” I want to be by the water. How about going to Westlake? She says, “ok, let’s have a picnic.” Damn. This gesture made my day. Not only did she surprise me with gifts the night before after picking me up from the airport, she took me out for a Keg dinner.

I wondered what this “new beginning” will be. I have so much to be grateful for. So, I think this will be the GRATITUDE JOURNAL. It will be a weekly blog. I will reflect on my week. But, I will focus on what I am grateful for. Admittedly, I have gratitude for the challenges and the unexpected. I appreciate the opportunity to learn but also speak truth and stand up for myself. It’s always a good test. I think that I will continue my exploration about WHAT I VALUE. The #pandemicreflection was more about what’s important to me (i.e., my friends, family, and happiness) and now I am going to delve deep into my values. I think the end of this blog reflection series will be when I achieve tenure, promotion, or significant career/life change.

The ending of this blog series is arbitrary. When I started the #pandemicreflection I thought that I would only write about 10-blog posts, but it turned out to be about 150 more. Who knew? Not me (or anyone). I don’t want to make this blog series work related, but it is on my WordPress site that I use as an exemplar for work. Seems appropriate. I was just reflecting today that I am in a good place. I love my work, I love the people I get to work with, and I love to learn something new. I am always learning and I think that’s what keeps me in this work. I feel grateful to be where I am and I am very grateful for my mom (and dad) who got me here today.

I don’t believe in “perfect”… things could be worse… and I’m happy where I am.