March 10, 2024 – Needing Time for Myself

What can I say? These soup dumplings from Costco are AMAZING!! I microwave them for 3-minutes then add the umami sauce that comes with the dumplings and a squeeze of sriracha… perfection. I learned about these dumplings on REELS. I’ve never looked back. My #OneWord2024 is HAPPY and these dumplings do provide a bit of happiness into my life. I am also learning that I need to find a happy balance between life and work. I think that I’ve always struggled with balancing my time as a student, teacher, and academic. There are demands that are either perceived, self-inflicted, or real that I require my time and attention to achieve and complete.

The last few weeks have been somewhat of a wash for me. Meaning, I should never underestimate the time it takes to complete a manuscript or the time it takes to heal from near “burnout.” As much as I want to focus on what makes me HAPPY, I also need to do what it takes to stay healthy. Admittedly, some of the work I have created myself. That’s part of my learning and I continue to do that (often through mistakes… which is how people learn). I am learning that my work needs to be sustainable and I almost burned out early in the year and I’m finding my way back.

I love to teach. I love to learn. I love to create, innovate, and try something new. I know that I’m in the right field and occupation that is “ikigai” (meaning in life) and I am also learning more about myself as I regain my independence and sense of self. I am learning how to embrace my strengths and stretches, but also what brings me joy. I am a “late to bed, late to rise” kind of person. I have always been this way in high school, university, and adulthood. Not much has changed over the years even though I feel like I should do things in the morning. Truth: it never happens. LOL.

Do what you love.

Isn’t this the greatest pedagogical journey? I love to teach. I love to learn. I love to create, innovate, and try something new. Admittedly, I’m not “the best” at these things, but I love the challenge of trying. My pedagogical journey had many up and down moments. I love the thrill of achievement (like eating these tasty dumplings) and sometimes I need to step back, rest, and rejuvenate (and be ok with that). I feel privileged and lucky that I can take a pause to regroup and try again. This way of being is a new habit I’m developing with hopes of honing this skill proficiently.

Sustainability, consistency, and joy are attributes or criteria for my work and I would self-assess my progress as EMERGING or DEVELOPING. That’s ok. I am learning and I am feeling more like myself to keep going without harbouring any feelings of resentment, regret, or guilt. I am doing the best I can and part of this work is self-assessing, reflecting, adapting, and trying again (re: Kolb’s experiential learning cycle). That’s the best we can do. If we can’t give ourselves the kindness and compassion to make mistakes and learn from them, what are we really doing?

A new work week begins tomorrow and I will try again. Time is a limiting factor, but it’s also something to be cherished, savoured, and appreciated. I can do this!!