July 18, 2026 – Gratitude and Hope

Admittedly, I was humming and hahhing about what to write this week. I started this blog post yesterday, and I wrote my other blog post on my other WordPress site, but I felt a little stumped about what I wanted to write here. Blogging has been a place of solace for me to reflect and wonder. When I started blogging in 2010, I wanted a place to express myself, at first, then it became a place where I could practice writing, and now it has become a reflective practice. I just love reflecting on my week and thinking about what’s on my mind and writing about it. Of course I could be writing in a paper/pen journal, but there is something very liberating about writing in a blog. I love that term that I learned from the DEEPER LEARNING CONFERENCE in Chilliwack, BC. Making learning public.

I guess, in some way, I am making my learning public by blogging, but also I love putting my thoughts (in writing) on a public online platform. By doing so, it feels more meaningful or high stakes, for me. Despite the fact that someone may or may not read this post, blogging on WordPress provides a framework and guidelines as to what I write, how I write, and why I write. It took me some time to figure out the criteria for my blog posts, but I feel that I am in a good place. I don’t over edit now (thanks to 2-step authentication and losing access to my original website… until I got it back again due to some serendipity and luck), the length of my blog posts range from 800-1000 words (from about 80-150 words), and I write about things that my stream of consciousness takes me.

So… viola. I’m writing about my blogging process when I had originally intended to write about “doing hard things.” In a way, blogging, expressing myself, and creating my digital footprint while figuring out who I am since 2010 was a hard thing to do. Although I learned not to put specifics in my blog posts (i.e., names), my blog posts since 2010 is a documentation of my pedagogical journey. It’s been a bumpy one, but I realize also, a privileged one. I attribute my freedom in Canada to my mom (and dad). My mom was a STRONG person. I did not realize how strong my mom was until she passed away. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Her passing has served as a catalyst to my growth.

I often feel that my mom held on, waiting for me to complete my dissertation and doctoral degree. She wanted to see that happen. Although she did not feel well enough to do go my oral defence (my dad did, and embarrassed me… ugh), she did go out for lunch with me to the Congee King on Kingsway in Burnaby to celebrate my success and have congee with me and dad. I was so grateful for her support (and mediation with my dad). She always believed in me. And, she was patient. On her last day at the hospital (she did MAID), she introduced me to the nurses as a “professor.” I was not going to correct her. At the time, I was an unemployed sessional instructor. LOL. Semantics, I guess. But, she even took the time to give me a pep talk prior to the procedure to know my gifts.

Ever since my mom passed away in 2018, I have been belabouring her words. For a long time, I did not believe her words, hence the belabouring. Now, so much in my life has changed. I no longer live in the same place, I’m single, and my kid will be leaving the next pretty soon. I am an Assistant Professor (so, close) and I am learning about who I am, what I have to offer, and my gifts. Only now can I see the value of my doctoral work and my research, only now I can live in a way that aligns to who I am and what I deserve, and only now I can see what I am able to do… and “I can do hard things.” I did not think that I could do qualitative research and submit for publication, I did not think that I could be provide critical but constructive feedback on graduate research work, and I did not think I could live on my own and live my best life. But guess what? I can.